


When Joy Returned

by PK_chu



Category: Far Cry (Video Games), Far Cry 5
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bliss use, By readers vote, Child Abuse, Childhood Friends, Childhood Sweethearts, Drama & Romance, Dubious Consent, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Intrigue, Masturbation in Shower, Multiple Pov, Mystery, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Polyseed (Far Cry), Redemption Arcs, Repressed Memories, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Softer Seeds, Tender! Jacob, family bonds, over 9000, past friends to enemies, sexy sparring, through the roof
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:07:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 16
Words: 61,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23722825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PK_chu/pseuds/PK_chu
Summary: Born and raised in Hope County, Joy Owens never thought she would return. When she was young, her family moved to the big city, cutting off all ties, and never looking back.‘It was because of that Seed family,’ the rumor mill whispered.But, that was a long time ago…a time Joy has trouble recalling and has simply let be.Now, she has finally achieved the role of Junior Deputy in the city where the large white signs on the hills spell out ‘Hollywood.’ But, when a U.S. Marshal suddenly arrives at the station to drag her back to Hope County, Joy has no choice but to confront the past.Back to the wilds of Montana, where old wounds had been left to fester, heartache had never healed, and memories once cherished lay forgotten. Joy will soon remember the Seed family; and as she does something reawakens deep within her, a darkness, the reason she had to leave.Can the secrets that lay hidden in her memories save the Seed Family from themselves or will it tear Joy apart, bringing the Resistance crashing down with her?
Relationships: Female Deputy | Judge/Jacob Seed, Female Deputy | Judge/John Seed, Female Deputy | Judge/Joseph Seed, Polyseed John and Jacob, platonic-Joseph
Comments: 129
Kudos: 126





	1. The Lost Lamb

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings reader! Welcome to my first Far Cry 5 fanfic! I’ll try to stick to the main story (intro mainly), then deviate here and there afterwards as we get flashbacks of Joy's and the Seed brothers' childhood. I’ll be flitting in and out of the POVs of mainly the Deputy, Jacob, and John, with a couple others as we go.
> 
> I'm taking quite a few liberties with this story, especially with the Seed family childhood (not quite following canonical age), plot twists, and adding redemption arcs; hence why I’ve marked this story as more Canon Divergence/Alternate Universe and I’ll figure out some sort of happy ending, so help me god!
> 
> Hope you will enjoy it and cheers all! Hits new fanfiction story with an empty champagne bottle...because I already drank it all ;)

He gouged out the man’s eyes...with his bare hands... _Jesus,_ the young woman breathed before the video yielded to fuzzy grey static.

**[Service Lost]**

_Well, that was...disturbing,_ Joy swallowed what seemed to a rock lodged in her throat. Her first glimpse of Joseph Seed's violent ways during what should have been a peaceful sermon. Joseph's keen eyes, hidden behind ochre aviators, flashed in her mind. There was something about that man’s eyes and it wasn’t the pretty peepers sort, more like a viscerally unsettling lurch in the pit of her stomach.

“Hey Owens,” the ‘ole raspy voice of Sheriff Earl Whitehorse called out to her over the helicopter’s whipping blades.

Joy wrenched her bright honey brown eyes away from the fuzzy static screen to gaze over at the dirty blonde handlebar moustached Sheriff.

“You’re wasting your time, there’s no signal out here,” Earl informored with a shake of his receding short-haired head.

 _Crap_...“I should have told my folks,” Joy remarked with a slight scrunch of her face as she pocketed her cellphone.

“You didn’t tell them you were coming back?” Earl asked with a slight arch of his brow. He gave the young woman a disapproving look with his pale green eyes; his tinted aviators would have slipped right off his nose had it not been held in place by the bulky headset.

Joy gave him a sheepish smile in return before admitting, “They would have not wanted me to come back.” Looking away, the junior deputy tucked a stray lock of unruly brown hair that had escaped her ponytail back behind her ear. It would be alright, Joy would be back home before her parents even realized she had left. Her eyes took in the wild untamed plains of Montana, then up at the bright shimmering stars above. _You don’t get a view like this in the big city,_ Joy marveled.

“Hmph,” Earl huffed through his moustache, sounding slightly annoyed. “Your folks are the good sort, but there’s nothing wrong with returning to your roots, especially if it’s to help your old hometown out,” He added in a softer tone.

Joy smiled softly as she continued to gaze out at patches of sprawling forests. A hint of sadness ghosted her lips because she couldn’t remember anything about her life in Hope County. The young woman couldn’t recall the Sheriff to even save her life; though from how warmly he had greeted her earlier, she must have left quite an impression on Earl in the past. Maybe after this case was done she would have some time to reminisce with the Sheriff, preferably over a hot cup of tea.

“Look,” The man sitting next to the Sheriff, U.S. Marshal Cameron Burke started brusquely. “I know you say you don’t remember the Seed family, but try real hard, alright.”

Joy shifted her eyes onto the bald headed, obsidian eyed Marshal. Burke, the man was as calm as a lightning storm, and just as tactful. It was this U.S. Marshal who practically charged his way through the Hollywood precinct like a raging bull to get to her.

“Junior Deputy Owens!” The man had barked loudly.

“Yes, sir!” Joy had snapped to attention from her menial task. One quick look over Burke had set the young woman’s posture straight. Her eyes had just lingered for a fraction of a second on his ‘U.S. Marshal’ signage. _Oh damn, what did I get caught up in this time that requires a U.S Marshal?!_

“You’re reassigned to my case,” Burke announced before jerking his head over his shoulder. “Get your stuff together, we’re heading out to Hope County asap. I’ll brief you on the way.”

 _Hope County?!_ Joy frowned, but began stuffing her duffel bag anyway. She hadn’t been back for what, 20 some years? But the U.S. Marshal didn’t expound, instead he steamrolled through her superiors as if they were mere traffic cones blocking his way.

“Our intel informs us that you have a history with the Seed family of Hope County,” Burke resumed his gruff mannerism over the blaring siren and flashing police lights as their vehicle whisked the pair, quite recklessly, over to the nearest airport.

“I don’t know of any Seed family, sir,” Joy clarified without turning her head to gaze at the U.S. Marshal. She was far more concerned with how the officer weaved in and out of traffic like a madman. Her grip tightened on the _‘oh shit bar’._

“And then we were tipped off that you have no memories of your past in Hope county,” Burke added, not hiding the disappointment in his voice. “Nonetheless, you’re still an asset to our case, and per my boss, you’re our trump card should things head south.”

Joy just stiffly nodded an affirmative at the present day Burke. Using her as their trump card did not seem like a clever plan in the junior deputy’s opinion, but she kept mum.

Her honey brown eyes shifted back to Earl. “Can you give me any hints, Sheriff?” Joy asked hopefully. “You seem to know me and my folks, though I am sorry to say I don’t remember you.”

“Aye,” Earl gave Joy a nod before he added, “You and the Seed boys were as thick as thieves growing up. Don’t know why your family whisked you off that day without a word to nobody. But after that, the Seed boys were sent to foster care homes and we soon lost touch with them,” Earl shrugged as he finished, but the way the Sheriff’s baleful eyes didn’t connect with Joy’s made the young woman suspect he wasn’t being entirely truthful. Was it because the U.S. Marshal was present?

Still it was a good amount of food for thought. Not only did Joy not remember the Seed family, apparently she had completely forgotten her dear childhood friends. Her parents never spoke of Hope County after moving, and Joy had quickly learned never to bring it up. Though after seeing Joseph gouge that man’s eyes out...they probably had a damn good reason.

“Crossing over the Henbane now,” their co-pilot and Hope County’s Deputy Staci Pratt, informed the squad just as something loomed into view. A monumental marble-like statue rose eerily from the fog laden forest.

“Oh fuck, there he is,” their pilot, and local Deputy, Joey Hudson cursed under her breath as they drew near.

Joy could only gawk at the larger than life statue of Joseph Seed. Left hand held up as if caught in mid-sermon. A book propped open in his right hand.

“Crazy motherfucker,” Burke growled darkly at the sight.

“Jesus,” Sheriff Whitehorse breathed warily. Joy couldn’t help but feel slightly apprehensive about Earl’s reaction to Joseph’s statue.

“We’re officially in Peggie country,” Hudson informed the team over her long braided raven hair. Catching Joy’s questioning gaze, Hudson added, “Peggie is short for Project at Eden's Gate, P-E-G. A nickname by the locals.”

“Yeah, well, they started off harmless enough a few years back. But now they are armed to the teeth. Joseph Seed has gotten himself a religious terrorist cult organization,” Sheriff Whitehorse took over so that Hudson could return her attention back to piloting the helicopter. 

“How much longer?” Burke questioned, looking a little antsy as he flexed his shoulders. He didn’t seem like the type that stood still for too long. 

“Just long enough for you to change your mind so we can turn this bird around,” Sheriff Whitehorse answered smartly. Though his remark made Joy frown.

In response, Burke unfolded a crisp white paper before asking, “You want me to ignore a federal warrant, Sheriff?” He waved it about in front of Earl with a hardened look in his eyes. 

“No, sir.” Sheriff Whitehorse acknowledged. “I just want you to understand the reality of this situation,” Earl pressed on while Burke folded up his warrant. “Joseph Seed, he’s not a man to be fucked with. We’ve had run-ins with him before and they haven’t always gone our way.”

Hudson chanced a glance over her shoulder at the Sheriff. Noting her gaze Earl added, “Sometimes...it’s best to leave well enough alone.”

Hudson and Earl shared a knowing look before it broke, and the Sheriff returned his gaze upon Burke, who looked like he might have actually been contemplating Earl’s words as he tucked the warrant back into his pocket.

“Yeah well, we have laws for a reason, Sheriff,” Burke countered wryly. 

Baleful eyes were trained upon the U.S. Marshal as Earl huffed into his moustache.

“And Joseph Seed is going to learn that,” Burke elaborated as the lighting storm brewed within him.

Earl’s wary gaze shifted towards Joy, and it almost seemed like he wanted to say something more, but thought better of it.

Again keen eyes glinting behind ocher tinted aviators flashed across the junior deputy’s mind, making Joy shift uncomfortably in her seat. 

The Sheriff looked away, gazing over his shoulder as he spoke to the co-pilot. “Pratt, open a call with dispatch, ten-four.”

The open radio comm buzzed into their collective headsets before the Sheriff began to say, “Whitehorse to Dispatch. Over.”

A middle aged woman’s voice, sweet and caring, popped onto the frequency, “Go ahead Earl.”

“We’re approaching the compound, Nancy. Over,” Earl reported briskly, though his eyes wandered over to Burke.

Nancy’s kind voice responded, “Roger Sheriff. Still planning to go through with this? Over.” There was a small hint of concern in her tone.

“We are, unfortunately, still trying to talk sense into our friend the Marshal. Over,” Earl added with an arched brow.

Burke shook his head, though his lip quirk upwards in what could have been a smile at the Sheriff’s persistence. 

Nancy’s light tone jumped back onto the line, “Alright, well he’s lucky I’m not there. If you get into any trouble you just let me know. Over."

The Sheriff let a small smile play upon his moustached lips at Nancy’s words, “Ten-four. Over and out.”

“Maybe we shoulda brought Nancy along with us instead of the Probie,” Pratt remarked as he glanced back at the passagers; catching Joy’s eyes before he added, “These Peggies wouldn’t fuck with her.”

“Pratt,” Hudson hissed at her co-pilot. Though the young man flashed Joy a playful smile, his hazel eyes alit with a mischievous glint.

“Hey now,” Sheriff Whitehorse interjected. “I’d wager you’ll be eating those words soon. I know Owens got a feisty spirit about her.”

 _I do?_ Joy almost asked. It was rare to receive praise for the young woman had always felt quite average.

Pratt just snickered into his headset before reporting in a more serious note, “We’re here. Compound’s just below.”

Joy shifted her gaze to peer down below and all she could think of was what a mess the church sanctuary looked. Dirtied, unkempt, with trash bins set alight. The junior deputy was sure there wouldn’t be a warm welcome party greeting them. In fact, it would be quite an ugly one as Joy caught the gleam of weapons reflecting the moonlight. There were many Peggies on the ground and they were all armed.

“Oh my Jesus…” Sheriff Whitehorse breathed as he noted one Peggie was haphazardly testing out a flamethrower, quite close to one of the wooden buildings. 

“This is a bad idea,” Hudson added with a wary voice.

“Last chance, Marshal…” Earl cautioned as Burke’s experienced eyes surveyed the compound. Joy could practically hear the gears churning inside the U.S. Marshal’s brain.

Obsidian eyes locked with honey brown, “We’re going in,” Burke declared.

Sheriff Whitehorse’s baleful eyes closed for a second, before he gave his order. “Set her down, Pratt.”

“Roger that,” Pratt replied stiffly, eying the many armed Peggies awaiting them.

They touched down smoothly and so far weren’t met with open fire. _A positive start,_ Joy thought.

Then Sheriff Whitehorse spoke up into the comm, “Dispatch, you still there?” 

Promptly, Nancy was back on the line, “Yes, go ahead Sheriff.”

Sighing deeply Earl ordered, “You don’t hear from us in fifteen minutes, send in everyone. Call the goddam National Guard if you have to. Over.”

“Yessir, Sheriff,” Nancy replied before adding, “I'll be praying for you.”

Joy’s bright eyes met Earl’s tired ones and it almost looked like he wanted to say, _Me too._

Mimicking the others, Joy pulled off her headset just as Sheriff Whitehorse began to give his instructions, “Now listen up. Three rules: Stick close. Keep your guns in your holsters and let me do the talking.” His baleful eyes focused on Burke before he queried, “Got it?”

“Got it,” they all chimed in return and out of habit, Joy patted her good ‘ole handgun holstered securely to her hip.

“Alright everyone, stay sharp. Let’s go,” The Sheriff announced as he slapped on his tan well worn trooper hat.

Joy followed after Burke, while Hudson tailed after Earl, who kept a hand on his trooper hat so that it wasn’t swept away by the helicopter's whipping blades.

“He’ll be in the church,” Sheriff Whitehorse announced to the team before he added, “Stick close and keep your eyes open. These folks can spook easily.”

Joy tailed Burke like she was his shadow. Her eyes took in the moonlit compound before the rough barking of dogs and crackling of flames reached her ears. As Joy’s eyes swept the Peggies, she noted how each person was armed and wore wary distrustful expressions on their faces. Luckily no one looked the least bit familiar to the junior deputy, but this was just the beginning.

Sheriff Whitehorse raised his arms up as he announced, “Be calm. Stay calm everyone. Just go about your business. This doesn’t concern you.” Just as they past through white wrought iron gates with the header, ‘Church of Eden’s Gate.’

A few more Peggies leaned nonchalantly against the building’s walls as the team passed by. “Sheriff, I don’t like this,” Hudson softly admitted as she tightened her grip upon her rifle. Joy had to agree, they were completely outnumbered if shit hit the fan. 

But Earl spoke up, calmly and warmly, “Everything’s fine, Hudson. Everything’s just fine.”

“Jesus Christ, you’re wearing badges aren’t you?” Burke growled as he picked up the pace. 

“Yeah, but they don’t respect badges much out here,” Hudson replied briskly, just as a disheveled and thickly bearded male Peggie looked her up and down; an unabashed wolfish expression upon his face.

“Well, they’ll respect a nine millimeter,” Burke stated loudly as he scowled back at the predatory Peggie; only causing the man's grin to widen and show more teeth.

“Not every problem can be solved with a bullet, Marshal,” Earl sighed, like an exasperated father lecturing a disobedient child.

They passed cages with barking growling dogs; some of them foaming at the mouth. 

Finally, what seemed like an eternity, the team paused at the entrance of a simple and small white church. Joy could hear the haunting tune of a choir singing Amazing Grace inside. 

Burke reached his black gloved hand out to tug the handle of the church door, only to be impeded by Earl, who firmly held it closed. “Woah Marshal. Now we do this, we do it my way: quietly, calmly. You got it?”

Joy held her breath as she watched the two officers stare each other down, before Burke finally relented. “Fine,” The U.S. Marshal acquiesced as he removed his gloved hand. 

Earl nodded and turned his attention to his second. “Hudson, on the door. Watch our backs. Don’t let any of these people get in.” Pale green eyes zeroed in on Joy, “Owens, on me.”

Joy stiffly nodded. Her feet felt oddly heavy, as if her boots were made entirely of lead. It couldn't be due to the unease of the unknown. Hell, Joy had been dragged into all sorts of stings blindfolded...both figuratively, and once literally. But still there was an apprehension weighing her down. Maybe because this case revolved around people and a place she once knew? A person who was once Joy's childhood friend, and now she was here to arrest him... 

Shifting his gaze, Earl looked back at the U.S. Marshal. “And you...just try not to do anything stupid,” he sighed painfully.

Burke snorted before he patted Earl on the shoulder, “Relax Sheriff. You’re about to get your name in the paper.”

If that statement was supposed to be comforting, then it definitely missed the mark. Instead Earl looked like he was having a gnawing stomach ache.

“You’ll be fine,” whispered Hudson’s kind voice towards Joy. The junior deputy tried to return a comforting smile, but it probably ended up as a grimace.

Both Burke and Earl pulled open the door, revealing a sizable congregation of armed Peggies filling the pews and standing about. There, at the head of the church, bathed in the filtering rays of light, was Joseph Seed.

“Something is coming. You can feel it, can’t you?” Resonated his strong, yet calm voice; taking advantage of the haunting echoing quality the church's walls provided. “That we are creeping toward the edge...and there will be a reckoning.”

Burke steadily walked forward, followed by Earl, and finally Joy. As they approached the Peggies turned their heads, one by one, watching them silently; not a hint of surprise within their wary eyes.

“That’s why we started The Project. Because we know what happens next!” Joseph punctuated fiercely. The light sheathing him, kept his form in shadow to Joy’s eyes. But she kept her chin up and continued her walk forward, even as more Peggies turned towards them.

“They will come...” Joseph paused so that the only sound was that of officers' approaching footsteps. “...They will try to take from us. Take our guns. Take our freedom. Take our faith!” Joseph’s voice was passionate and as the officers drew near, the Peggies that had been seating in the pews now rose to their feet.

“But, we will not let them.”

Burke turned to Earl, noticeably frustrated at their slow pace. “Sheriff, c’mon,” He urged a pleading gloved hand towards the older man.

“Just hold on Marshall,” Earl breathed, raising his own hand in turn to placate Burke.

“We will not let their greed, or their immorality, or their depravity hurt us anymore!” Joseph’s voice was reaching a crescendo. 

“Sheriff,” Burke growled a whine. 

Now Joy saw him, shirtless, with tattoos across his lean muscular body. A rosary dangled from his left hand. But his face was completely foreign to her. There was no rush of memories or spark of recognition... _some trump card she was._

“There will be no more suffering!” Joseph’s voice rang out and it must have hit a cord within the Marshal.

Earl must have sensed how tightly wound Burke was as he calmly breathed, “Do not pull that trigger. Remain calm…”

“No, fuck this,” Burke snarled as he whipped out the white paper from his pocket and held it up for all to see. “Joseph Seed!” The Marshal’s voice rang through the church. “I have a warrant issued for your arrest on the suspicion of kidnapping with the intent to harm. Now,” Burke’s voice settled down into a more even tone. “I want you to step forward and keep your hands where I can see ‘em.”

For a moment Joy thought Joseph wouldn’t comply, but slowly his hands rose up. Then he opened his mouth, “Here they are, Locusts in our garden…see they’ve come for me.” And as Joseph talked a group of armed Peggies strode in front of him, shielding Joseph. “Come to take me away.” More Peggies stepped forward as Joseph’s voice grew stronger with each word. “Come to destroy all that we built!" 

_Shit this looks bad,_ Joy’s mind began to race as her hand instinctively inched towards her handgun.

Unanimously the Peggies suddenly began to clamor, “Put your guns down!” Causing a cacophony to echo terribly through the small church.

Adding to the noise was Earl’s voice as he ordered at the Peggies, “Now hold on, do not touch that service weapon! Stand down and everyone calm down."

A Peggie stepped towards Joy with his hand out towards her. In response, the junior deputy took a step back, unaware that Joseph was now keenly watching her, a fleeting spark of recognition behind his ochre aviators. The young woman didn’t look up at him until he stepped down from his platform. 

Silently he placed his hands upon the shoulders’ of two of his Peggies, smiling genially as if this was all just an innocent misunderstanding. “We knew this moment would come, and we have prepared for it.” The two Peggies took a respectful step back, allowing Joseph clearance as he stated, “Go, God will not let them take me.”

Joy expected some sort of resistance, but one by one the Peggies filed past her, almost peacefully, though their expressions were far from it. 

“I saw when the Lamb opened the First Seal, and I heard as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four beasts…” And as Joseph preached with his arms held up high in reverence, Joy watched as two males, and one female, all who did not look like Peggies, took to the stage behind Joseph.

Her eyes first drifted towards the ginger haired giant standing to the left. He held himself up with a no-nonsense stance as he crossed muscular arms across his chest. His side swept auburn hair and beard gave him a wild mountainous look, while his dog tag and fatigue outfit hinted of his military past. However, the worn brown rabbit foot laying beside the whistle on the same necklace seemed, out of place for the man.

Joy’s eyes traced the man's exposed skin, noting the rough texture until she caught his gaze and sharply inhaled. The man's molten blue eyes seemed to be trying to bore holes into Joy’s face with his laser stare, and the rest of his face seemed just as tense. Something about him, from his fiery red hair to those molten blue eyes were familiar...but the memory kept slipping out of Joy's grasp. Finally she broke their gaze, almost having to physically snap it in order to look over at the younger man who stood in the middle. 

He was well manicured with his sleek dark brown hair slicked back and bread neatly trimmed. His blue overcoat and well styled outfit bespoke money, lots of money. Upon seeing that her attention was now trained on him, the young man gave her a dazzling white smile, which during this tense moment seemed completely out of place, and then he had the gall to give her a little playful wink...with his bright blue eyes. A familiar mischievous glint that Joy was sure she had seen before, but her mind drew a blank like a dry erase board wiped clean.

Not responding to his smile, Joy quickly looked away, missing how the young man’s expression fell into a frown. The junior deputy was now examining the peaceful young woman. She wore a 3/4 sleeved white lace dress with delicate colorful flowers splashed upon the thigh length skirt. What then caught Joy's attention was that the young woman was barefoot. The junior deputy raised her gaze upwards, noting that soft shoulder length light brown hair framed a calm almost serene expression. Upon noticing Joy’s gaze, the young woman gave her a sweet smile, though it did not reach her distant blue eyes.

All the Seeds had blue eyes...Blue eyes the shade of forget-me-nots…

 _‘Don’t forget me,’_ whispered a soft voice in the dark recesses of Joy’s mind.

 _‘I’ll never forget you,’_ her own mind softly spoke back.

“...one of the four beast say, come and see,” Joseph’s trembling words recalled Joy back to the present.

“Step forward,” Burke growled, cutting off Joseph for just a second.

But the man quickly resumed without skipping a beat, “...and I saw,” Joseph jabbed a pointed finger directly at the Marshall’s face, before sweeping his gaze over to the Sheriff, “and behold, it was a white horse.”

Then, slowly his gaze turned until he was now looking directly at Joy “...and Hell followed with him, returning my lost lamb back to me…” Joseph’s arms were slowly outstretched beckoning towards her while Joy felt her eyes widen in surprise at his knowing expression.

Too focused on Joseph, the squad did not notice the brief, but knowing glance the two Seed brothers exchanged. The young woman on the right appeared unaware as she continued her saccharine gaze at the officers.

“...Joy,” Joseph called out to her in a soothing, oddly familiar tone that was different than his sermon voice, and it nearly had the junior deputy swaying on the spot.

Finally Joy’s honey brown eyes truly locked with ochre tinted blue eyes, and an disturbing idea struck her like lightning...what if she was the Seed’s trump card?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woot! Chapter 1 done, next chapter will dip into John’s and Jacob’s perspective. I’m going to try to be in character as much as possible.
> 
> Comments are super appreciated! No matter how small, or cliche you think it is, hearing from my readers makes me feel all warm & fuzzy inside, and fuels my creative brain to churn out more stuff!! <3


	2. Ghost of the Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A round of thank yous to my first commentators and kudo givers; your support is loved! Also I have just bought the game! Very excited to get myself immersed in the storyline and really get to know the characters. So without further ado, please enjoy this chapter, done raw and lightly seasoned with emotions....Bon Appetit!

Joy has returned, she has finally come home...

Earlier, Jacob had taken his position in the dark corner of the building so that he could keep a sharp eye on the congregation and sole entryway. Should there be any odd movement, Jacob would cover Joseph in a heartbeat. Thus the sound of a nearby helicopter put the veteran on high alert.

Soon the dogs began to bark wildly and unknown voices drew near. So, today was the day, they were coming, and would try to take Joseph away. Jacob flexed his muscles and cracked his neck, _Let ‘em try._

But when the church doors were flung open, Jacob was frozen to the spot. She had returned to them… _Joy..._ and Jacob felt something stir once more within his hollow heart.

Fluffy brown hair was trying to escape from her bouncing ponytail. A holstered handgun was secured to swaying hips as she strode forward. Joy looked older, her face had filled out, among other parts of her curvaceous form, though she hadn’t grown much taller. But her eyes were the same, Joy’s ever sweet honey brown doe eyes that sparkled brightly.

Jacob watched her keenly from his shadowed corner, but it was not like a wolf surveying prey, more like an alpha sizing up a potential pack-mate. The veteran noted the shrewd and wary glint in Joy’s eyes as she examined each Peggie and cataloged their weapons away in her mind. Her eyes lingered on quick draw weapons, _Good instincts._

Soon Jacob lumbered to the center, meeting his youngest brother and Faith halfway. He turned to face the new arrivals while his brother preached. Drawing in a deep breath, his blue eyes slowly looked back up, and gazed at her.

Bright honey brown eyes looked past Joseph, and straight onto him...suddenly the floodgates burst open, releasing waves of memories to wash over Jacob, threatening to drown him. The engraving upon a lone apple tree, the lucky rabbits foot won at a carnival, the slow dance behind the barn, and the promise snuck into a music box next to his hospital bed... _a promise long since broken_.

Her gaze roved across his scarred skin. Jacob could see a hint of curiosity dance within those familiar eyes, but no spark of recognition... _she doesn’t remember_...doesn’t recall how Jacob received those scars on that fateful night, and his heart tightened painfully within his chest.

 _‘Only you…’_ whispered Joy’s soft feminine voice from the dark reaches of Jacob’s mind, and he felt his jaw clench achingly tight. Yet, he refused to look away. Instead Jacob held her gaze with such a burning intensity that he was sure it would consume her in flames.

...But honestly, what was he expecting? It had been so many years...the way Joy had just upped and left...and he knew, deep down, it was partly his fault.

 _Don’t look away,_ as if maintaining her stare would somehow make Joy remember him...yet honey brown eyes shifted their gaze away. The ache they left within his chest reminded Jacob why he had tried so hard to forget...

* * *

It was her! John knew it the moment she stepped into the church. Joy has returned just as Joseph proclaimed she would. After all these years...

At first the evening seemed like it was going to be the same old routine. John had situated himself at a respectful distance from his brother, not wanting to draw away any attention from Joseph as he preached. The youngest Seed maintained an air of polite interest during Joseph’s sermon, though he barely sang during Amazing Grace, he was more eager to start confessions. So to pass the time John secretly examined his well manicured nails, noting with distaste that a hangnail was starting to form.

The young man quickly looked up when the church doors creaked open. John felt his posture straighten once he realized who followed after Sheriff Earl Whitehorse and a U.S Marshal, _Joy..._

The youngest Seed kept his hands clasped behind his back and had to suppress a shudder as he felt the thrill of excitement rush through his body. Hopefully he still looked presentable. How was his outfit? Would she like it? Joy, on the other hand, was dressed in the plainest deputy outfit on the planet; surely they could have spruced up the uniform to compliment a body like hers.

Anticipation thrummed through John, and his legs practically moved on their own accord to sweep the man towards the center of the stage. He was eager to see her expression upon seeing how he'd grown up. Didn't they talk about that when they were kids, what they would become once they were adults?

Suddenly Joy's gaze was upon him. Warm honeyed eyes swept John back to the days of chilled lemonade at the Owen's ranch, the deviousness of their tricks and pranks, then the sound of sweet laughter that always followed.

When he was adopted by the Duncan family, John had tried to keep in touch by letters; hoped to become genuine pen pals. But his letters continued to go unanswered, until he finally just gave up. 

While John continued building on his success as a lawyer, he never met anyone else like Joy: fearless, kind, and mischievous, she always included him on her newest prank even though he was the youngest...the slowest.

John should have acted sooner, if he had maybe Joy would never had slipped away. Sloth, his sin...never again. From that day he acted quickly, without batting an eye.

And so he gave Joy a winning smile, one that had never failed him before. For good measure, John followed the smile with his signature wink to seal the deal, for it always sent hearts swooning.

 _Nothing_...Her expression was blank and as still as stone. Joy didn’t return his smile, nor wink...like she used to do. The young woman had barely batted a lash.

Then a thought worked its way into his mind and it felt as if someone vehemently ripped off a large bandaid from a wound spanning the length of his body.

_...Joy doesn't remember me..._

John's smile wavered. Surely she hadn’t forgotten, Joy wouldn't do that to him, the youngest Seed quickly assured himself. Maybe she was just hiding her reaction in order to not draw suspicion from her law enforcement colleagues. John knew all to well the art of manipulation. But his smile fell into a frown for after all this time, to not even give him a mere hint of familiarity.

Anger began to bubble within, the wound she had made, festering...

* * *

“Owens, cuff this son-of-a-bitch,” Burke ordered gruffly as he jerked his head towards Joseph who still held his hands towards her. 

Joy curtly nodded and kept her facial expression neutral. Joseph held no sway over her, whatever happened in the past...is in the past. Confidently, the junior deputy pulled out her handcuffs, and her eyes caught Joseph's knowing expression falter. It was just for a fraction of a second, and Joy would have missed it if she blinked.

As the young woman stepped closer to him, Joseph breathed lowly, “My wayward lamb, I’ll bring you back into the fold. Don’t you worry.”

“You have the right to remain silent Seed,” Burke growled threateningly. “Use it!” The Marshal gave Joy a nod, an unspoken _I_ _got your back._

“Let’s go,” Earl prompted just as he opened the church’s doors, revealing that more Peggies had arrived.

_Shit…_

Hudson, Burke, and Earl fanned out, keeping the Peggies at bay, while Joy silently marched Joseph along the muddy path back to the helicopter. 

“You’re so quiet, Joy,” Joseph whispered though he kept his head still and gazed straight ahead. “You used to be so talkative.”

 _Don’t engage,_ just do what you're told and get this circus over with. Joy had already made up her mind, it was best that she didn’t become familiar again with this man. She was sure those memories must be painful, terrible enough that it had made her want to forget, so she was going to ignore any of his attempts. Let the past die so that this moment was easier.

Joseph didn’t talk, instead he began to hum...Amazing Grace, low and sweet.

A sudden vision sprang up in Joy’s mind. A rickety wooden porch, the rocking chair was empty and quiet, but someone was near...hiding. She had found the perfect spot for playing hide and seek. Now all she had to do was stay as quiet as a mouse while he tried to find her.

Humming, low and sweet. It always got to her, for she would always join in and... _Shit_ , Joy’s fingers had momentarily loosened their grip upon the man. Did he feel her fingers relax? Hopefully not as Joy quickly adjusted her grip.

“Gotcha,” Joseph whispered, _he knew._

The Peggies were becoming more volatile as they drew near the helicopter, now they were throwing stuff! “Weapons out!” Earl hollered and Burke quickly answered.

The Marshal sent a few warning shots in the air before he shouted towards Joy, “Get him to the chopper!”

As quickly as she could manage with Hudson’s help, Joseph was ushered into the helicopter. But suddenly there were hands reaching out and bodies smashing themselves against the hull of the craft. As they rose into the air, a few Peggies rushed them, seizing at Burke’s arm before he shot the offending Peggie.

Suddenly sharp fingernails dug into the skin of Joy’s left arm, a female Peggie with a manic smile was trying to pull Joy out of her seat. Snapping to attention, Joy pulled back her right arm and sent her fist smashing into the Peggie’s face, effectively sending the woman falling to the ground.

Gritting her teeth, Joy looked away from the compound only to see that a Peggie had thrown himself to the mercy of the helicopter’s propellers! _Oh fuck!_

Joy braced herself as the craft began to spiral, faster and faster, as it quickly lost height. “Brace for im--” Burke began, but Joy didn’t hear the rest as she was engulfed by darkness…

Joy’s bleary eyes opened as her brain seemed to swim groggily within her skull. A headache was starting to mount something fierce all over. Was it her or were the flames around them upside down? _Hell_...the helicopter was flipped over causing them all to dangle upside down like rag dolls.

Joy squinted as she peered about. Was that Burke...and Hudson...Joy’s head lolled to the side as she peered over at an empty seat... _Joseph_...

A muffled voice was shouting out…“Come in! This is Nancy! Is everything OK? Over!”

 _Nancy_ ...the sweet kind woman who would have given the Peggies hell. Her last hope _…_ Joy’s vision was still hazy as her brain throbbed with a blossoming ache. _I have to tell her...warn her...get help!_ If only she could grab at the abandoned headset.

“Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound…” echoed Joseph’s calm and low voice.

 _No no no..._ Joy weakly reached out for the dangling headset. But just as she grabbed it, her victory was short lived, a hand latched tightly onto her wrist, staying her arm. _Joseph_...his grip was not painful, but firm. 

Joy looked down into his serene as Joseph continued his low melody, “That saved a wretch like me…” His visage in Joy’s sight became clearer as he sang.

“Is somebody, anybody there?! Please,” Nancy’s voice continued to plead into the wreckage of the helicopter.

“I told you, God wouldn’t let them take me,” Joseph whispered to her, his ochre tinted eyes unblinking as he held her startled gaze. 

“Please, I need to know what’s going on,” Nancy’s morose voice filled the air.

Not breaking eye contact, Joseph tugged the headset out of her weakened grip. “Dispatch,” he answered calmly into the microphone.

“Ohhhh...my god,” Nancy replied, palpable relief in her voice...and something else, was it awe?

“Everything is just fine here. No need to call anyone,” Joseph added as he released his hold on Joy’s wrist. The young woman wanted to scream, protest at the top of her lungs, but Nancy's next words silenced Joy...

“Yes, Father. Praise be to you,” Nancy replied softly.

 _No...no...no._ Joy felt as if her world was spiralling out of control, her heartbeat quickened, and she closed her eyes tight as she tried to regain control of her breathing.

“Joy,” Joseph whispered softly, kindly. “Joy, look at me.” 

The young woman opened her eyes to gaze at Joseph, who had removed his tinted aviators so that she could really see how blue his eyes were. _Forget-me-not._ There was a moment of silence, only broken by the crackling fire, as the pair just gazed at one another.

“You truly don’t remember me…” Joseph sighed. It wasn’t a question, more of a statement as he fully came to realize the situation. “You promised me you wouldn’t forget,” He breathed, and there was a fleeting look of disappointment that graced his face as he broke their eye contact to slip back on his aviators. When he looked back at her, Joseph’s expression had hardened. “Then, I will help you remember,” He concluded.

The rumbling sound of motors drew near. Joy shifted her gaze to watch as a few trucks rolled up to the wreckage, their headlights illuminated the crash. Joy felt hopeful, but her heart deflated at the sight of Peggies exiting out of the vehicles.

_Fuck..._

“Joy,” Joseph called out to her, bringing her attention back to him. He had crawled his way to the other side where his Peggie followers awaited him. “It’s time to go,” he beckoned back to her over Hudson’s dangled unconscious body.

The sudden memory of Joseph gouging out a man’s eyes flashed across her mind, causing Joy to remain still, even though blood was now pooling in her head as she dangled upside down.

“Joy, I won’t hurt you,” Joseph added as he now reached out a hand towards her.

_Prove it..._

Finally, Joy found her voice. “You have to help them,” she prompted as she glanced about at Hudson, Pratt, and Burke. “I’m not moving until you do,” Joy resolutely stated. Surely she was pushing her luck.

Ochre tinted blue eyes barely blinked at her request before they shifted to his followers. “Evacuate the others,” he ordered the Peggies nearby. “You haven’t changed Joy,” Joseph added as he took a step back.

Joy began to undo her seatbelt and gingerly lowered herself down. Unfortunately, just as the Peggies began to unlatch the deputies, everyone regained consciousness and began to fight back. Utter chaos ensued, only hitting a crescendo as the flames roared higher, suddenly engulfing the entire helicopter.

_Oh god!_

“Joy!” Joseph commanded as he threw out his hand towards her, blue eyes beseeching behind the orange aviators through a narrow clearing in between the flames.

And as if by instinct, Joy reciprocated. She reached back out to him...until she felt herself roughly jerked backwards.

“What’re doing!” Exclaimed the gruff voice of Burke, as he pulled Joy back towards him, in the opposite direction...away from Joseph’s outstretched hand.

The last thing Joy saw was Joseph’s arm going limp to his side as orange aviators reflected crackling fires. Then she turned, and ran...

* * *

Joseph stood still, rigid, as he watched Joy sprint off into the moonlit forest with the U.S. Marshal. Behind him, another truck rolled into the clearing, stopping short of the helicopter wreckage.

“Is she?!” John began wildly as his bright blue eyes saw the struggling deputies, but no Joy. Anxiously he gazed at the burning wreckage.

Meanwhile, Jacob sat rigidly in the car, his hands clenching the wheel tightly until his knuckles turned white. He closed his blue eyes and was focusing on his breathing to ward off hyperventilating; ignoring the palpitations that sprang up in his chest at the sight of the flaming wreckage. _I'm not weak!_ Jacob's thought snarled angrily.

“She’s alright,” Joseph breathed evenly, almost too quietly against the hissing flames and shouting. “She has been taken away by the Marshal.”

“She’s okay!” John hollered back towards his oldest brother.

Jacob, eyes still closed, returned a stiff though thankful nod.

“What do we do now?” John asked as he turned his attention back to Joseph.

"Joy will come to use, we will make her remember, cleanse her, and bring her to Eden’s Gate," Joseph stated smoothly as he watched the licking flames eat away at the helicopter. 

Joseph’s keen eyes then surveyed the bound yet still struggling deputies, and he drew in a deep lungful of air. “Begin the Reaping!” Joseph’s voice boomed loudly over the hissing flames and was met by a chorus of wild cheers from the Peggies.

_...The First Seal has been broken..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aw yeah! So we get hints of Joy's past with Jacob, John, and a little bit with Joseph. I really hope you liked it! More memories will be unlocked as the story unfolds :D
> 
> Quick question, anyone know what happened to the Seed parents? Mama and Papa Seed? I’ve been doing research but haven't found much about their fate...so I'll end up going with my own twist until I learn otherwise.


	3. Monsters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright! Let’s get into some butt kicking action! Also, I am taking a huge liberty with changing things up with Joy’s first meeting with Dutch and the Seeds’ childhood, ‘cause damn I have some great ideas and twists for this story! Hope you will enjoy it!

Heavy boots thudded against the mud as Joy and Burke sprinted through the underbrush of the thick forest; their path illuminated by the moon and sparkling stars above. The raving shouts of the Peggie mob grew more distant with each labored breath.

“Some trump card you are,” Burke huffed as they dashed across a small babbling brook.

Joy bit her lip to remain silent, but she didn’t hide her bitter honey glare.

“Wait, I,” Burke remarked and made her pause as he held up his gloved hand. “Sorry.” The Marshal must have meant it because, in the moonlight, it looked physically painful for him to admit it. “This whole thing was off from the beginning and I dragged you into.”

Suddenly voices rose into the air and shadowed movement could be seen through the thicket. “Get down, get down,” Burke urged as the pair crouched low and silently made their way past a fenced off lumber yard.

“What did your gut say?” Joy finally asked once they were out of earshot of the lumber mill.

“I didn’t like how Whitehorse kept pushing to turn a blind eye to this. To let Joseph Seed be. Didn’t sit right,” Burke admitted as they picked up their pace down a slope.

Joy realized something, even though the helicopter crash was a blur, “I don’t remember seeing Whitehorse in his seat...he wasn’t dragged out by the Peggies. Or at least I don’t think he was…” The young woman murmured.

Burke hummed in contemplation as their feet reached even ground.

Then another thought occurred to Joy... _Nancy_...“Could the Sheriff be Joseph’s payroll?”

“Now you’re thinking Junior Deputy,” Burke agreed with a nod. “Hey, look up ahead.”

Following the Marshal’s gaze Joy saw a lonely homestead, and it’s lights were off. Hopefully nobody was home as the pair silently approached the backdoor.

A gloved hand quietly tested the door. “Locked,” Burke growled, eyeing the doorknob like it had just earned itself a very special place in hell.

Before the Marshal could kick down the door in anger and alert any Peggies nearby, Joy sank to her knees and pulled out a bobby pin hidden in her tufted hair. Her deft finagling was met with a confirming click.

“Huh,” Burke breathed before they poised themselves into well trained infiltration stances. The Marshal gave Joy a nod, and the Jr. deputy pushed open the door. Silently, the pair swept the abode until they were assured it was all clear.

“Okay, gather up anything useful,” Burke remarked as he began to rifle through the living room.

Joy entered the kitchen, finding a first aid kit, pack of cigarettes and a lighter. The only thing stocked in the refrigerator were a few glass bottles of beers and a thing of vodka. Upon hearing Burke’s approaching boots, Joy turned around just in time to catch the semi automatic rifle gun he tossed at her.

“Here, you’ve earned it,” Burke nodded as he prepped a newly acquired handgun. Obsidian eyes swept the view from the kitchen window until he spotted the white vehicle backed into the detached open garage. “Alright, here’s the plan. We’ll commadere that truck and drive to Missoula, then we’ll get the National Guard on Joseph’s ass.”

But suddenly there was movement at the outer perimeter of the property. “Shit, we’ve got company!” Burke snarled as the pair ducked just in time to dodge the shattering windowpane. 

A whole group of Peggies were marching their way towards the house. While Burke fired back, Joy hurried to the fridge, whipping it open and pushing past the beers.

“The hell Owens? Not the time for a brewsky!” Burke shouted over the hail of bullets.

Joy ignored him as she grabbed the vodka and quickly twisted off the cap off. Snatching up a kitchen rag, the Jr. deputy stuffed it into the vodka bottle, and then lit its end with the lighter. Joy spun around and sent the flaming bottle sailing through the broken window and at the group of suddenly screeching firelit Peggies.

“Molotov? Well aren’t you full of surprises Owens,” Burke remarked breathlessly. “Alright, while we have the clear, let’s get to the truck!”

Firing a few more shots, the pair made their way to the truck. And now being familiar with Burke’s driving, Joy buckled up. 

At first it seemed like smooth sailing until, “Dammit!” Burke cursed as another truck appeared hot on their heels and gaining as bullets peppered their vehicle. “Owens! Get them off my damn tail!” The Marshal snapped as he floored the gas pedal.

Taking in a deep breath, Joy unbuckled her seatbelt and leaned right out the car door to let loose a barrage of bullets from her rifle. The driver was hit and it sent the truck careening down the side of a steep slope.

Joy slipped back into the truck just in time to hear Burke curse loudly. Looking straight ahead was a roadblock and a couple more trucks at the ready.

“Owens, you know what to do,” Burke breathed just as Joy leaned out of the window again. Though something in the truck-bed caught her eye. A rucksack had tumbled open, revealing a dozen dynamite sticks. _Ohhhh yessss!_

Burke heard an unfamiliar sizzling sound and jerked his head as he began to say, “Owens, what are you..."

But Joy had already chucked one...two...three dynamite sticks. Creating utter chaos at the roadblock and blowing up a way for them to get through.

“Well, can’t argue with results, just try not to blow us up,” Burke commented with a slight shake of his bald head.

“I’ll try to _'remember’_ that sir,” Joy snickered as she lit another stick, not missing the loud snort from the driver’s seat. The Jr. deputy sent a few more explosives flying at the chasing trucks behind them before she slipped back into the car.

“I feel like we’re Fast and Furious or maybe...Thelma and Louise?” Joy added with a grin as she readied her gun.

Burke released another snort, but his lip had quirked into a lopsided smile.

Suddenly the chasing Peggies pulled away, as if letting them free, though the pair knew better. They were now drawing close to a metal truss bridge, when something roared above them.

“Holy fuck, they’ve got air support!” Burke shouted as a AdjudiCor FBW-2 swooped low hailing firepower not only at the truck, but at the entire bridge for good measure. 

“Hold on!” Burke shouted just as the bridge gave out, plunging the truck into the cold river below.

Joy braced herself, but the impact still roughly jostled her body. All too soon ice cold water began rushing into the truck. Quickly, Joy and Burke took in a lungful of air as water drowned the compartment. 

Eyes adjusting to the watery depths, Joy became aware that Burke was cutting his seatbelt with a knife, and once free pushed the blade’s handle into Joy’s hands.

As the young woman frantically cut through her belt, Burke smashed open a window and slipped through. Joy tried to follow Burke to the surface, but the river’s current was putting up a good fight. The young woman tumbled about like a rag doll in the machine wash. Then the back of her head smacked against something hard and the Jr. deputy succumbed to the river’s icy darkness.

Once Joy came to her senses upon the pebbled riverbend, it was to cough and splutter out copious amounts of chilled water. Shivering and shaking in the cool night air, the young woman found herself on the opposite side of the river from some sort of commotion. Burke’s snapping voice echoed across the water, though she couldn’t make out what he was saying. Joy tried lifting her wobbly head when a shadowy figure hovered over her.

“Well, shit...” Rasped a low male voice. “Joy?”

But before the young woman could answer the stranger, a curtain of pure black descended over her eyes.

* * *

“Well well well,” Came that same raspy voice from the riverbend, though louder this time. 

Joy’s eyes flitted open just as an elderly man loomed into her field of view. He was a fair skinned bald man with a full greying goatee and moustache. He wore a simple earring on his left earlobe and had bespectacled brown eyes that were the hardened battle worn type, though they softened as he gazed down at her.

“Aren't you a sight for sore eyes, Joy Owens,” he added with a disbelieving shake of his head.

As he took a step back to give her space, Joy noted that the man wore a black shirt covered by a long sleeved fatigue that was rolled up to reveal tattooed covered arms. 

“I'd say welcome back, but under the circumstances I'm sure you wish you were anywhere else but here,” the old man added as he spread out his arms in greeting.

“Who are...How do…” Joy’s voice croaked. It felt oddly dry for someone who was just submerged in a body of water.

“Easy now, I think your head took a good whacking in that beast of a river” the elderly man tapped his noggin for emphasis. “Though, knowing your thick skull, you’ll be fine,” he added with a raspy snicker before he picked up a tall glass of water in one hand and offered what looked like an advil pill in the other.

Joy had gingerly propped herself up onto her elbows, but she eyed both the glass of water and white pill warily. If she had learned anything from today it was that trust was not a luxury she could afford in Hope County. Anyone could say they knew her in the past, make up a sweet story, and then stab her in the back. The Seed brothers, who had once been her dear friends, now part of a cult. And then there was Nancy who had been a traitor all along. Joy would not know who to trust or what was the truth until she got her memories back

As if he could read her thoughts the old man frowned, “Dammit Joy, I know I’m old...well older now, but it seems like you don’t even remember me?”

“Get in line,” Joy snorted mirthlessly. Her list of people she couldn’t remember would soon require a mile long scroll.

“Hmmm,” the old man murmured. “Does the name Dutch ring any bells? Save for the ones chiming away when ya’ hit your head?”

The blank stare Joy gave him seemed to be enough of an answer for he continued on. “Well, I’m not telling you the damn lovely nickname you used to call me ‘cause it's a godsend you’ve forgotten it. Instead how ‘bout Richard Roosevelt? The Roosevelt Family? My son, ‘lil uptight Robbie Roosevelt?” 

Joy blinked, then blinked again. _Nothing..._ save for a throbbing headache.

The man, apparently named Richard or Dutch rubbed his bearded chin. “Well shit.” He then sighed deeply, if not a little despondently. “Look, you're soaked to the bone. Rifle through that closet for something dry to wear and then come find me in the control room. We’ll see if I can jog that brain of yours for some memories.” And with that he left the room.

Sighing, Joy carefully pushed herself off the bed and did a thorough check over. Her boots and socks had been removed and set to the side to dry. Her uniform was definitely soaked, but apart from a few superficial scratches, Joy didn’t appreciate any broken bones or sprains. And while her head did ache and there was a bit of tenderness at the posterior aspect, her skull on the whole was intact with no step offs.

The closet yielded an earthen brown button up, tan cargo pants, a camouflage trucker hat, and thick but flexible brown gloves. Based on a full length mirror, Joy looked less law enforcement and more regular ‘ole joe as she slipped her slowly drying hair into a ponytail and tucked it through hat's strap. Replacing her socks and boots, Joy stared at the water and finally acquiesced as she popped back the pill and ravenously drank, sighing as the water soothed her parched throat. 

Rolling her shoulders, Joy exited the small bedroom into what was no doubt an underground bunker. The air of the metal lined hallway was slightly stuffy with a hint of dampness and muskiness. Industrial sized shelves lined the walls and were stocked with supplies befitting a prepper. Joy passed by multiple small rooms: a workroom, restroom, a simple medical room, then there was a blue lit living quarters complete with kitchen, sofa, and...an aquarium?

“Hello? Can anyone hear me? This is Dutch, over.” The man’s raspy voice grew louder as she neared a doorway that radiated a red glow. As she entered, Joy’s eyes swept over a wall of black and white surveillance monitors, a desk with disheveled piles of papers, and an old record player on pause. The man, Dutch, was leaning over a radio.

“Check check, 1...2...hmmm sounds good,” Dutch continued to murmur as Joy looked about.

There was a wall length map of Hope County, but what held Joy’s gaze was a large push pin board with four headshot photos of the Seed Family, each labeled with their respectives names. John Seed, Jacob Seed, and Faith Seed were connected by a yarn string that led their photos to the center of the board where Joseph Seed’s headshot was pinned.

“Ugh this fucking piece of...fuck! Bet it's busted!” Dutch growled before he began to tinker with the radio.

Meanwhile, Joy continued to stare at the photos of each Seed, until her eyes threatened to water. But she was stubborn, willing the photos to spark an epiphany...until she realized that Dutch had stopped tinkering with the radio and was now keenly watching her.

“Quite the coincidence, you coming back after all this time, just as their reckoning takes off,” Dutch remarked into the quiet red glowing room.

Joy slowly turned around to arch an inquisitive brow at Dutch, which in turn made him raise up his hands in a placating gesture. “Hey now, I’m not giving you the hairy eyeball, it’s just an observation,” Dutch added with a shrug of his shoulders.

“I don’t remember them,” Joy sighed as she turned to look back at the headshots.

“Well, while you’ll have to remember what they were, I can bring you up to speed on what they’ve become.” Dutch approached the large board and jabbed a finger at the first headshot, the auburn haired burly mountain man. “Jacob Seed,” Dutch announced as if Joy was taking part in a mission briefing. “He’s the oldest brother and a veteran, so it’s no surprise he became in charge of training the Militia for Eden’s Gate. Rumor is that he’s got this psychological experiment going on in the Whitetail Mountains, where his base is located. The mantra his followers chant is _‘Sacrifice the weak’_ and _'Cull the Herd'._ Jesus, there’ve been some horror film worthy stories coming from that region, right alongside monstrous wolves called the _Judges_.”

Dutch paused, as if weighing his next words very carefully. “Jacob, well, he used to work at your dad’s ranch, the ‘ole Owens Ranch.” At his words, Joy’s face paled as her eyes widened at the information. “Uh, yeah,” Dutch coughed seemingly to clear his throat as he averted his gaze.

“Moving on, this here’s John Seed,” Dutch informed her as he tapped the picture of the well manicured young man. “He’s the youngest in the family and is lovingly known by the Peggies as The Baptist of Holland Valley. He initiates followers into the cult by what he broadcasts as the _‘Power of Yes’_. What he doesn't mention though is the fineprint, which includes marking the flesh of his followers with their sin, cleansing them in drug tainted water, and torturing for confessions all in the name of atonement."

Dutch paused, moistening his lips after talking at length. “The real kicker is, John was the sweetest boy in all of Hope County. Shy, quiet, generally reserved, but then he took quite a shine to you.”

The hairs on the back of Joy’s neck had risen up at Dutch’s words. How did a sweet boy like John become a sadistic grade A psychopath?!

“Yeah, and we’re just at the tip of the iceberg mind, next up is Faith. She fancies herself the title _‘The Siren’_ and it’s not the good kind you find on the police car. She’s not related to the Seeds by blood based on my investigation. She just showed up one day by Joseph’s side at Eden’s Gate and has been stuck to him since.” 

“Faith spins a good heart jerking tear sobbing story that could win an Oscar. But she’s a two faced liar with a knack for creating an addictive drug called Bliss.” Dutch paused as he nodded over at Joy. “As if you needed to worry about more drugs on your beat huh, well this is like Ecstacy, Angel dust, and Absinthe rolled into one pretty white trumpet flower. Faith uses it for her twisted trial up in Henbane River, called the _‘Walking the Path’_. She has her followers take up the challenge and they either die on it or end up becoming Angels, but instead of harps and halos they are brain fucking loopy and become seemingly unstoppable pin cushions when they get angry.”

Now Joy had to rub her exposed forearms as goosebumps prickled her skin. It sounded like Faith was turning her followers into aggressive zombies!

“And then there’s The Father, Joseph Seed,” Dutch pointed up to the headshot of the calm aviator wearing man and Joy swallowed in preparation for the worse.

“Your old classmate…”

Joy closed her eyes. So she was Joseph’s classmate...is that how their friendship began? Bright honey eyes fluttered open to gaze back up at Joseph's picture.

“Yeah, well...he was a good kid back then, now he’s got it in his head about the inevitable Collapse, the end of days. So he’s made himself into the modern day Noah, but the catch to getting a place on the ark or as he calls it, _'Eden’s Gate'_ , you gotta be cleansed and atone for your sins...even if you don’t want to join. Joseph is now rounding people up as we speak; it’s his attempt to save as many souls as he can by what he calls _'The Reaping'_. Fucking maniac, but a clever charismatic one, his damn Peggies will die to him.”

Joy remembered how his followers rushed the helicopter even if it meant that they would plummet to their deaths. That one man who threw himself at the propellor while Joseph was as calm as a meditating monk.

“Joseph has three bunkers prepped for the Collapse, for when his Prophecy comes true,” Dutch finished with a nod.

“I can’t believe it,” Joy finally spoke up as she frowned. “That I was friends with these monsters.”

“Oh quit it, you know no one is born a monster. And well, I can clear up one thing at least,” Dutch ventured as he rubbed his breaderd chin. “Ya’ wouldn’t have known Faith Seed, she came later. But ya’ knew the Seed boys alright. Moved here from some town in Georgia way back. Apparently their mother had passed away and Papa Seed was looking for a change, a good place to raise three rambunctious boys. _You can’t find better than Hope County, open land, good hardworking people, and a loving community_ , I remember telling him.”

Silence filled the red lit room as the two shifted their gazes back to the push pin board. _Jacob, John, and Joseph..._

Finally, Dutch broke the silence, “Joy...they were special to you, I know it. You...you can be the key in bringing them down.”

Another minute passed in silence, though it felt like an eternity before Joy whispered, “What happened Dutch.” Her honey brown eyes shifted between the three brothers. “Why can’t I remember anything? Why did I move away?” The unknown behind it all was starting to frustrate her.

The elderly man sighed and shook his bald head, “I don’t know what had happened, all I know is that it was all hush hush and that’s saying something for a small place like Hope County. But, if anyone would know...it’s Sheriff Whitehorse.”

 _God dammit!_ Joy’s hands clenched into fists, fingernails biting into her skin. She knew it, her gut had warned her that Earl wasn’t being completely honest. So what had he been hiding from her?!

“To be honest Joy, whatever it was that happened, it changed them,” Dutch murmured as he too glanced back up at the headshots.

So, if Joy could remember, uncover what had happened then maybe...“Can they be saved?” She asked.

“Saved?” Dutch scoffed with incredulity at her question. His battle worn eyes then surveyed Joy closely as a small smile ghosted his lips. “You and that bleeding heart of yours. Heh, you haven’t changed a bit, well except for a little extra chub.”

“Wha! Hey!” Joy stammered as she felt flummoxed. “Shut it Grandpo!” The woman retorted.

“Aw shit,” Dutch cursed at the old nickname.

“Ohhh...I remember now,” Joy murmured as she brought her fingers to her lips, before she smiled mischievously into her fingertips.

“Well, if you're gonna use it then I get all the credit for getting yer memories back,” Dutch grumbled. “At least it’s not old fart or grumps,” He added darkly. “Anyway, while I'm glad you're back, not everyone else will be. Folks know you were close to the Seed boys.”

Joy opened her mouth to protest but Dutch raised up a palm to hold her off. “I know I know, you don't remember anything, and aren’t on their side, but you're gonna have to prove where your loyalties lie to earn the trust of the Resistance. Just giving you a heads up is all. They won't take kindly to your past, probably suspect you to be a double agent.”

The young woman scrunched up her face in silent objection.

“Joy," Dutch remarked in his raspy voice. "I know your heart is good, you've always stood up for what was right. You’ll just have your work cut out for you.”

“I could just leave this all, again,” Joy sighed as she looked away from the push pin board and worried her bottom lip with her teeth.

“Look deep within yourself, now that yer back, can you just walk away?” Butch prompted her with a knowing look through his glasses.

“No,” Joy whispered. If she did have a hand in all this...then she needed to _atone_...

“You were a smart kid, I’m sure your memories will catch up once you're back on familiar territory,” Dutch tried to allay. “Now, let’s get to work,” The elderly man remarked as he clasped his hands together, rubbing them gingerly at the thought of getting down to business.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright! Now we have a better idea on how Joy knows the Seed brothers, and as the story unfolds we'll see how each friendship started and grew...before everything came crashing down...
> 
> I'm still figuring out a plot for Faith Seed since this story focuses more on the brothers, especially with the childhood.
> 
> I hope the story is still intriguing! I literally stopped here in the gameplay so have to jump back on to figure out how chapter 4 will go! Cheers dear readers!! <3


	4. It's dangerous out there

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, it’s official, I’ve adopted Dutch as my grandfather...he’s now the story’s grumpy grandpaw! Also, please enjoy some Seed family bonding time and more hints!

John always looked forward to dinner with his family ever since the brothers reunited. The youngest Seed had even gone out of his way to acquire fine china and accents for their meals together. For today’s dinner, Joseph had elected to have the meal outdoors under the moonlight at his compound in Eden’s Gate. John had just finished lighting small candles within a couple of mason jars upon the square wooden table before they took their seats.

Silently they ate as each Seed looked preoccupied with their own thoughts, save for Faith. The young woman had made it her personal mission to have the brothers eat more vegetables, though Jacob absolutely refused. His plate consisted of one raw done slab of steak, as opposed to his brothers’ who had a mix of medium well done steak paired with garden salads, meanwhile Faith only had a garden salad. 

John watched with amusement as the young woman slipped pieces of her salad onto Jacob's plate when she thought he wasn’t looking. First a crisp of lettuce, then a slice of cucumber, and then a red onion peel. Finally his older brother had had enough. Without even looking, Jacob raised his large hand to block Faith as she tried to sneak over a grape tomato onto his plate.

“Oh come now Jacob,” Faith’s lilting voice chided. “You must consume some amounts of fiber,” she softly pouted at her rejected tomato.

“Faith, haven’t you learned that Jacob subsists on meat and air alone? Our brother doesn’t even need water to survive,” John bantered with a playful smile before it faded from his handsome face. “Any news as to where Joy has gone?” John asked Joseph as lightly as he could, though the air around the table tensed perceptively at his mere question.

“Nothing yet, but I know she is alive and well,” Joseph replied calmly as he gently cut through his steak, not looking up to meet the three pairs of eyes upon him.

“But,” John’s voice ventured. “With the bridge collapse and Burke only found…” The youngest’s voice died away for he could practically hear Jacob grind his teeth as his brother’s jaw twitched.

“The Voice has assured me of her wellbeing,” Joseph responded with smooth confidence. “Once she knows where her deputies and the Marshal are, she will come.” Joseph added before he plopped a portion of steak into his mouth. 

Suddenly Jacob rose to his feet, causing Joseph to finally look up, a questioning look gracing his face. “Not hungry,” Jacob growled gruffly before he strode off down a beaten path, past a white painted building, and out of sight.

The young woman made to follow after him. “Faith,” Joseph’s voice calmly spoke and it held her still before she acquiesced back into her seat.

Instead John quickly rose and strode down the path Jacob had trekked. The worn path led to a small apple orchard. Within a clearing was Jacob, leaning against an old tree trunk, one muscular arm crossed over his chest, the other holding onto the brown rabbits foot as he peered up into the star strewn sky with an unreadable expression.

John felt sorrow for his brother. Ever since he lost contact with Joy, Joseph, and Jacob he had wondered what had happened to them. What were they doing, what have they become...did they ever think of him? John had tried tracking the three of them down but the trails had lead nowhere, so instead he preoccupied his own mind with the fast paced high life befitting a successful lawyer living it up in Atlanta.

He had sinned, oh god how had he sinned with drugs and sex. It chipped away at him until John felt lost, lonely, and loveless; until Joseph found him. His brother had changed, alot, but it was still Joseph. He gave John purpose and the youngest Seed felt renewed, reborn, and was now redeeming himself in the eyes of Joseph as he reigned over Holland Valley as its Herald, the Baptist for Eden’s Gate. Ah the irony, there had been a reason for his adoptive parents torture after all...through it came the Power of Yes, and oh how effective it was.

But then Joseph brought home Jacob. John's oldest brother was almost unrecognizable with those god awful scars up and down his body. The young man had stayed up into the witching hours as Jacob recounted all that had happened since the day John left; though the fire at the Owens’s Ranch was a touchy topic that the youngest Seed quickly learned to never to bring up again. 

“Brother?” John gently inquired as he slowed his pace. Jacob quickly dropped the rabbits foot and said something roughly under his breath, but John didn’t catch it. “Pardon?” The youngest Seed asked again.

“She doesn't remember us,” Jacob growled, and John caught the note of pain within his graveled voice. 

Pain and anger, Jacob was a master at keeping it locked within himself under tight control. The oldest Seed was the complete opposite of John, who would have screamed, thrown things across the room, and let it all out like a vengeful thunderstorm.

“She’ll remember, Joy was our best friend, and we aren’t easy to forget,” John stated confidently as he looked up at the starry sky. His spoken words were not just for Jacob, but for himself too. Joy wouldn’t have forgotten him, erased what had happened that day.

Meanwhile, Jacob’s blue eyes lowered from the heavens to gaze at his young brother. John didn’t know...it had been kept a secret, quiet and sweet, from everyone for all that time...that Joy had been more than just a friend to Jacob. Or at least, he had thought so. A rough calloused hand drifted back to hold onto the rabbits foot.

* * *

“Alright,” began Dutch’s raspy voice. “Now, you’re not going to like what I’m about to say.”

Joy just snorted as she rolled her eyes, “Surprise me.”

“Well, your partners, the two deputies and the Marshal, have been handed off to each of the Seeds,” Dutch announced with a grimace.

“Got it,” Joy nodded and made to turn.

“Woah there, hold on damn it, you can’t jus’ run off like that! It’s dangerous out there, here,” Butch scolded before he rifled through his desk drawer and retrieved a few items. “Take this gun,” He added as he proffered Joy a fully loaded handgun.

Joy’s other handgun must have been lost in the river as her belt’s holster was empty. As the woman secured the new handgun to her hip, Dutch unfurled a well worn map across his desk. “This here’s a map of Hope County and that’s,” Dutch pointed to a small island, “Where we are. Now I don’t want any solicitors so don’t go blabbin out my bunker’s location ya hear.”

Joy nodded to which Dutch huffed, “Good, now I’ve got eyes all over this island,” The elderly man nodded up to his wall of surveillance monitors. “So...uh...if ya need to use the can, better use the restroom here before heading out.”

“Now you’re gonna need help, support, back-up. The Resistance can give you that. We're just a handful of civilians that have resisted the Seeds’ growing reach. Unfortunately, the last report I got before things went silent, was that our little group is fragmented and scattered all over Hope County. Some might not even be with us any more…” Dutch paused heavily as the realization hit. Clearing his throat he regained his raspy voice and continued. “Well, with your help, you might be able to unite the Resistance back together. Maybe bring in more people now that the Seeds have shown their true colors, more people will be wanting to fight back. And you’ve got that spark Joy, they’ll rally around you if you give ‘em hope.”

Joy’s bright eyes closed shut for a moment as the sheer monumental effort of this task washed over her. Sole liberation of an entire county from a rabid religious terrorist cult wasn’t exactly covered in her academy training. But, while it was a heavy burden, someone had to do. No one else knew of what was going on. Nancy had seen that. No outside force would be coming to help them. Exhaling deeply through her nose, honey brown eyes opened as Joy stated resolutely, “Got it.” 

Nodding, Dutch returned his attention to the map “Now if you head west you'll be in John’s backyard, going east opens into Faith’s region, and up north howls Jacob’s wolves. Don’t bother with this island just to the north of us. That’s where Joseph is entrenched and you’ll barely get close enough by boat before you're blown to smithereens in the water,” Dutch’s voice became more fervent as he stated this, locking her eyes with his meaningful gaze.

It must have been prompted by how her eyes kept gazing back at Joseph's headshot. How the man was the enigmatic lock at the center of this puzzle and Joy somehow held the key to solving it. But her desire...her curiosity...couldn’t get the best of her. Joy she gave the elderly man an affirming nod. “I won’t go chasing after Joseph,” Joy stated, though she caught a hint of doubt in Dutch's bespectacled brown eyes.

Rolling up the worn map, he handed it over to Joy, before also giving her a large gold key. “Now, here’s a key to my bunker, you need anything you just come right back here. But, no one else is allowed, I don’t want to come home to some animal party!”

Joy chuckled at the idea of a lit bunker rave party. The acoustics and bass quality would be off the charts!

Then Dutch began offering her more stuff, “Now you’ll need your own radio, a flashlight, a good ‘ole swiss army knife - can’t ever go wrong with that, this bit of tarp will be handy if you need to sit down, a first aid kit; you know what I have this here sandwich, just ham and cheddar, but you can have it.” Dutch gave her a look over his shoulder and noticed that Joy now carried an armful of items. “Uh, let me get you a bag for all that stuff.”

Soon a well worn navy blue janSport backpack hugged Joy’s back as Dutch led her through his mini labyrinth of tunnels until they reached a staircase. “Now be careful out there, the outside is crawling with Peggies...and bugs; I’d just rather have the bugs. And mind the poison ivy, itches like a motherfucker.”

Joy took a few steps up the stairs before turning around to gaze down at Dutch. He almost looked like a proud parent seeing off his little one to school. “Thanks Grandpo,” Joy smiled softly back at him.

“Yeah yeah yeah, now ‘get,” Dutch waved his hand dismissing her, but a small smile ghosted his lips.

Joy pushed open the heavy metal sheet of the bunker’s door and stepped out into sunshine...She paused in the fresh air as the sun warmed her cool skin; listening to the sound of rustling leaves in the breeze and the soft babble of flowing water. It felt like... _home._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this chapter with the Seed boys and ‘ole grumps Dutch. I’ll be skimming or just outright cutting out parts of the gameplay that aren’t really needed for this story to streamline it a bit. But Joy is going to make her way into John’s territory...get ready for the Power of Yes!


	5. Boomer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed up the beginning of chapter 4 a bit. A thank you to ruthy4vrsmoaked for the feedback as I hope to hone my writing prowess with each chapter :3

“Testing, testing, this is Dutch to Joy, over,” Came the elderly man’s raspy voice over the radio.

Quickly Joy dug into her backpack before fishing out her transmitter. “Hey Grandpo, looks like your radio is working after all,” Joy replied with a smile, before she stepped into something...wet. Honey eyes peered down to find a crimson pool of liquid at her feet.

“Uh, Dutch...there’s a puddle of fresh blood out here,” Joy remarked into the microphone as she carefully sidestepped the sanguineous pond.

“Might’ve been a Peggie, or a cougar. If we’re lucky it was a cougar killing a Peggie. Soooo keep an eye out for them cougars,” Dutch helpfully informed.

“Thanks for the heads up Grandpo,” Joy deadpanned with a grimace as she peered about the tall grasses.

“So kid, which way will ya go?” Dutch inquired after a moment of silence.

“Not sure, I...” But Joy was suddenly interrupted by a female voice that blurted out on the frequency.

“Hello? Hello! This is Rae-Rae, I need help!” The woman’s voice rushed with urgency.

“Rae-Rae?! It’s Dutch. What’s the matter?” The elderly man quickly responded.

“Boomer barking up something fierce, and, oh god, I’ve got a bad feeling in my bones,” The woman’s terrified voice breathed into the receiver.

“Now don’t you worry, I know someone who can help,” Dutch prompted.

Without missing a beat Joy began in a calm steady voice, “Rae-Rae, this is...the Deputy. What’s your location?”

“I’m at my pumpkin patch,” Rae-Rae answered, her voice becoming shakier with each word. The sound of a dog madly barking could be heard in the background.

Quickly Joy opened up her map, scanning for Rae-Rae’s Pumpkin patch. “Can you get yourself to a safe place?” She asked as her eyes finally spotted the location and a nearby road that would lead her there. 

“My son is on his way, but…” Rae Rae let out a gasp. “Someone’s coming up the driveway.”

“I’m on my way!” Joy announced, but Rae-Rae no longer responded. The deputy could only hope that it was Rae-Rae’s son.

“Joy, there’s an ATV hidden in the brush to your left, take it. Godspeed kid; Dutch out.”

Heart racing, Joy found the quad vehicle under a mound of cut branches. Jumping onto the vehicle, she sped down the dirt path through the island with reckless abandon that would have put Burke to shame. Soon Joy exited onto a paved highway and crossed the bridge that gave her entry into Holland Valley. _Come on, come on,_ Joy urged the ATV, ignoring the speed limit and the fact that she wasn’t wearing a helmet. 

In what felt like an eternity, Joy noticed a large brown sign for Rae-Rae Pumpkin Farm. It had a happy dog painted upon it, surrounded by plump round pumpkins as a header read, ‘Regional Bird Dog Champion -2015.’ Suddenly gunshots rang in the air and instinctively Joy slid off her ATV to take cover behind large crates of pumpkins. 

Handgun drawn, Joy stealthily made her way up the farm’s dirt road, keeping to cover as she noticed movement up ahead near the main house. A dog’s bark grew louder as she approached. From what Joy could see past the shed she had hidden behind, three Peggies were circling a large metal crate, which contained a lone barking and snapping dog... _Boomer_.

“Can we shut this mutt up!” Yelled an exasperated male Peggie, before he gave Boomer’s crate a swift kick, which only caused the dog to bark louder.

“Maybe the owner has a muzzle or something,” a female Peggie remarked thoughtfully.

“I’m not going anywhere near that thing’s mouth,” a third Peggie stated in his deep gruff voice as he eyed the canine warily.

“Heh, if this thing scares you then stay away from the north,” the first Peggie commented snidely.

“Just spread out and look for something to tie around that dog’s muzzle,” sighed the female Peggie, ushering the trio to fan out.

Joy slid back behind the shed and weighed her choices. She was outnumbered one to three and her enemies were armed with semi automatics. Her bright eyes then fell upon a large shovel and a lightbulb clicked on in her brain.

The first Peggie was inside the garage, distracted as he rummaged through drawers. He didn’t know what hit him as he crumpled to the floor, a slight dent to the left side of his skull where a shovel made an impact. Slinking quietly away like a shadow, Joy searched for her next target.

The female Peggie stood still as she guarded Boomer’s cage, ignoring the dog’s barks and teeth baring growls. Joy needed to somehow get the Peggie’s attention, without risking exposing herself into the open, especially when the last Peggie was still stalking about, out of view.

Sighing, Joy leaned back against a crate filled with small ornamental gourds...and another light bulb turned on in her head. 

Suddenly a little round pumpkin rolled out from behind the garage, stopping at the Peggie’s feet. “What the…” The woman trekked over to where the pumpkin had rolled from, leading her right to Joy’s readied shovel. With one fluid strike downwards, the Deputy knocked the Peggie out, but not before she cried out in suprise.

_Shit!_

Her cry had alerted the last Peggie who came running from behind the house. Joy quickly dropped her shovel and reached for her handgun just as the last Peggie quickly took aim with his rifle...unaware that he was being hunted.

Without warning, a cougar lept from behind the house, pouncing at the surprised Peggie and bringing him down with its heavy muscular weight. The man screamed and struggled as he was helplessly dragged back behind the house, his shouts quickly dying away.

Just as Dutch warned, beware of cougars…

Sighing, Joy stowed away her handgun and picked up the trusty shovel. The farm was now completely silent, which didn’t bode well. _Where was Rae-Rae?!_

“Boomer? Hey Boomer,” Joy greeted the tail wagging canine as she approached his crate. He had calmed down and didn’t appear to be aggressive towards her. Quickly she opened up the door and watched as the dog slid right out and scurried off to the main house.

 _Rae-Rae..._ Joy thought as she quickly followed Boomer.

But it was just as she feared. Two figures, a blonde woman and blonde young man laid in a pool of blood...just in front of a dog house. Boomer whimpered and whined as he nudged his owner’s lifeless body. Joy was too late...

“Sorry boy...I’m so sorry,” Joy whispered morosely as she fell to her knees next to the dog and stroked his soft fur. The woman stayed with the dog a moment longer before she spoke up again. “I’ll see if any family is around to take you in.” Though as Joy said this, she had a sinking feeling the young man laying next to Rae-Rae was her son. Swallowing hard, Joy rose to her feet and turned to walk back to the ATV. But she was not a few steps down the dirt path that Boomer was suddenly walking alongside with her.

“Are you hungry? Do you want some water?” Joy asked as she came to a stop. A small whine came from Boomer as he looked up at Joy with large beseeching eyes. “Just some more scratches and pets huh?” The woman replied as she kneeled down again. “Alright then, just a bit longer.”

Did Joy have a dog growing up here in Hope County? Maybe? The young woman was particularly fond of dogs, though she didn’t have any pets after moving to the big city. Joy gazed into Boomer’s large brown eyes as she soothingly stroked his short fur.

Closing her eyes, Joy recalled something... _a long time ago_...during the summer. It was already quite a hot day, so teenaged Joy wore a white knee length short sleeve dress that was peppered with a golden marigold design. Her brown fluffy hair was bundled up into a topknot upon her head, though unruly strands were already trying to make their escape.

Yellow jelly sandals slapped the dirt path as Joy trekked out to the barn to check on Luca, her best companion and hunting partner all rolled into one energetic chocolate brown labrador. Luca would surely need some fresh cold water in this heatwave, but when Joy turned the corner behind the barn it was to find someone had beat her to it.

Luca had been sloppily lapping up fresh water before pouncing at someone with his slim tail happily wagging as he tried giving whoever it was several soggy licks. _‘Traitor,’_ Joy pouted, for Luca was a picky pooch who didn’t just take to everyone and anything. 

Silently Joy craned her to see that it was a male teenager, slightly older than her. While she could only see his back, he was tall...very tall, and lanky, though starting to put on muscle. He wore light blue denim jeans, a cotton grey short sleeved shirt, thick brown working gloves, and a tan cowboy hat. 

It was an outfit her papa’s workers usually wore and Joy recalled a recent conversation between her father and mother. _“Dear, I’ve hired a fresh pair of hands to help around the ranch. It’s the oldest Seed boy; he’s been looking around for work. He seems like a good kid, strong, and listens well.”_

Joy watched as the teen took off his dusty cowboy hat to wipe away sweat that had beaded across his forehead. She nearly gasped at the color of his hair. Vibrant red short hair, like a flame burning brightly. Joy had never seen someone with such hair color before and she was still mesmerized even after he had replaced his hat.

Suddenly Luca noticed his owner and began to happily bark in her direction. _Oh!_ Joy was going to duck away, but she had been spotted by bright blue eyes. 

He had turned around to reveal a strong jaw and earnest face. The teen looked just as surprised as Joy before he caught himself. “Pardon me, Miss,” he began in a deeper voice then Joy had been expecting. “I didn’t mean to stop working, just thought the dog needed some water.” There was a long silent pause as Joy just continued to stare up at the teen, causing his cheeks to redden, though not to the degree of his hair. “Well, goodbye Miss.”

“Joy!” She blurted out loudly before her brain caught up.

The teen looked perplexed at her shout and tilted his head in slight confusion.

“That’s my name,” Joy quickly clarified as her cheeks felt warm.

The teen’s confused expression morphed into a lopsided smile, “Joy,” he repeated making her heart skip a beat. “I’m Jacob. Well, see you around,” he remarked with a tip of his cowboy hat before he walked away.

Joy remained still, her cheeks pink from blushing as she stared after Jacob until he was out of sight. 

Suddenly a wet tongue licked her arm and Joy was recalled to the present. Boomer wagged his tail when he realized her attention had returned to him. “Hey boy,” Joy remarked softly. “Wanna join me on my little crusade?” She asked the dog with a small smile.

* * *

Peggies began to spread the news, the sinner deputy had been spotted making her way through Holland Valley, now with a dog in tow.

“So Joy decided to enter my region first,” John remarked when a Peggie reported on the liberation of the Gardenview Orchard. It had taken John a good play at various statutes of law to force Doug and Debbie to just sell their property to him; and now it was Joy’s. 

“I should do something to welcome her,” John mused as he rubbed his bearded chin. He wanted it to be subtle, yet bold; something that would grab Joy’s attention and bring her to him. “Get a camera over here,” John quickly ordered when an idea struck him. “I want to record a special little broadcast.”

John smiled softly into the camera lens as he spoke, “Now...I’ve come to realize that there's been alot of _joy_ missing in my life. So I began to wonder, how do I bring _joy_ back?” John beckoned to someone off screen and Hudson was escorted into view by two Peggies at her side. Her black mascara had run down her cheeks from crying, lips were sealed over with duct tape, and her arms bound behind her back with more tape.

“Well, Deputy Hudson here has kindly offered to aid me in my quest to find _joy_ , or more like have _joy_ come to me,” John announced with a warm smile that made his bright blue eyes sparkle.

Hudson, on the otherhand, vehemently shook her head towards the camera, her eyes widening in fear.

“Such a tease,” John chuckled softly as he shook his head. “Nice try, Deputy Hudson, but with the Power of Yes, _joy_ will return back into our lives. Very soon I imagine.” And with a playful wink, the filming ended.

“Will we get joy too sir?” A Peggie asked hopefully once the recording had stopped.

“Oh, we are all getting joy, mine’s just a special sort of joy,” John smiled enigmatically as he recalled a fond memory of their first meeting.

“Are you okay?” asked a girl’s soft voice above John’s sniffling bowed head. He was wearing dark blue shorts, a plain light blue short sleeved shirt, and black sneakers that covered over white socks.

John had been chased by an angry white chicken and hadn’t been looking where he was running. He had gotten away from the feisty bird, but had stumbled over a stone, scratching his left knee when he tumbled down. The scratch was angry red and prickled with pain, causing tears to well up in John’s bright blue eyes.

Quickly he rubbed away the tears with his arm before looking up to find an older teenage girl standing before him. She wore skinny blue jeans with one torn hole at the right knee, paired with hot pink lit-bright sneakers. The girl wore a bright yellow short sleeve t-shirt with the words, _‘Owens’s Eggcellent Eggs’_ scrawled on it in big bubbly letters and a happy sunny side up egg that was smiling. Her long brown hair was split into a low fishtail pigtail that rested over both her shoulders. 

“Oh, your knee!” She exclaimed, bright honey brown eyes widened as she spotted the wound.

“I’m fine,” John pouted as he quickly looked away, though he knew that she could see the remnants of glistening tears on his cheeks. 

“It was Myrtle wasn’t it?” The girl gently asked as she knelt besides him.

“Who?” John asked with a quizzical frown on his chubby cheeked face, though he refused to still make eye contact with her.

“Myrtle, the Hen Queen! The Feathered Terror! The Snow White Dinosaur!” The girl waved her hands about in the air as she rattled off ridiculous names causing John to snicker. Really it was just a chicken.

“Here, I know a trick that makes boo-boos feel 100% better, guaranteed!” The girl added with a big thumbs up as if it would seal the deal.

John snorted with incredulity at a 100% success rate for boo-boos, but he did look back at her curiously.

“Watch,” The girl bent down and kissed his slightly rough left knee, just above his scrap. “There, does it feel better?” She asked as she rose back up and tilted her head at him questioningly. 

John looked at the smiling girl, then back down at his red knee, then back up at her. “Yeah,” he softly replied. It was true, his knee didn’t hurt so much anymore.

The girl smiled. “Told ya, 100% guaranteed,” She added with a wink that made John smile. 

“Here, you stay put and I’ll go fetch a bandaid from the house. If we're lucky mom will have some lenomane ready,” she prompted, patting his head gently before she sprinted off and out of sight, leaving John to hum to himself.

“John?” Jacob called out in a worried tone. His older brother must have been frantically searching for him, and John felt a little guilty for making him worry.

Jacob turned the corner around the barn and spotted John sitting alone on the dirt. “There you are!” The oldest brother sighed in relief. “You weren’t supposed to leave the truck. Hey what happened?” His blue eyes zeroed in on the wound on John’s knee.

“I tripped and fell,” John explained as he pointed to the scrap. “But she kissed my knee and it feels all better now.”

“Who?” Jacob asked with a slight frown.

“I...I don’t know. She went inside to get a bandaid,” John remarked with a shrug of his small shoulders.

“Joy,” Jacob murmured with a soft smile. Though then his smile faded as he added, “We shouldn’t be bothering the miss. Here I’ve got some bandaids in the truck. I’ll patch you up.”

“But…” John protested, she may even bring back lemonade! However Jacob was already striding off back to the vehicle and John obediently trudged after his older brother.

“She is very special indeed…” Present day John remarked with a soft smile that reached his blue eyes.

And so John patiently waited, going over pretend conversations with Joy in his head, and scraping remarks that sounded lame. On the second day, John waited, though his patience was starting to wane and any odd movement around his ranch made him fidgetity. But when it stretched into day three, and nothing happened, well John felt downright insulted by Joy’s no show.

And it wasn’t like Joy had disappeared again, _oh no_ , she was scampering about the countryside being a downright menace. Blowing up his bliss infused fertilizer silos...which in hindsight wasn’t one of his best ideas. They were highly explosive, a trait Joy was quick to take advantage of, and released an utterly rank trip inducing odor into the air.

“Get me the frequency that the Deputy has been using!” John ordered a nearby Peggie as he tapped his fingers impatiently against his desk. 

“Sir, it's 27.5,” a Peggie informed him and John quickly dialed his radio to that frequency.

“Ahem,” John cleared his throat before he began. “Helloooo Dep-yo-tee Owens," he called out in his pleasantly silky voice. "I know you’re listening. Might I have a moment of your time. I know you’ve been busy, a little too busy one might say. But how about we have a little chat?”

Silence met his invitation, until there was a click on the frequency.

“John,” Joy’s sweet voice responded, even if it was clipped and to the point. It still made John’s heart flutter within his chest. _She answered!_

“Joy,” John replied back soothingly as he relished how her voice rolled off his tongue. But all it was met was with more silence. The young man cleared his throat before asking, “Have you seen my broadcast? I specially filmed it just for you, Joy.”

There was a pause, before Joy replied, “To be honest, I haven’t John. I’ve been a bit preoccupied, surely you understand?”

John rubbed his bearded chin, enjoying their conversation as he countered, “I’m trying to decide if I should consider my feelings to be hurt or not, Joy.”

“That depends John, do you have any feelings to begin with?” Joy retaliated sweetly.

John smiled into the speaker. “Ouch,” he replied in a mockingly hurt voice. “You wound me Joy,” he added as he feigned a wounded heart by placing his hand upon his chest over the fine dark blue vest.

“If this is all that takes to do so, then I should have radioed you sooner,” Joy sarcastically replied.

“You know what would be even more effective?” John paused to fiddle with the cord of the radio unit. “If you were to come over to my ranch. We could have a more personal chat, maybe even a confession, perhaps over some lemonade? I know how much you liked fresh lemonade.”

“We’ll see John, we’ll see,” Joy replied. And John noted that it wasn’t an outright no.

There was a click on the other end that noted the finality of their conversation, but John had a strong feeling that once Joy took the time to watch the broadcast and pick up on his warning, she would drop everything and come running. John smiled for he looked forward to kissing any bruises Joy received on the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright two flashbacks for the price of one chapter! What a deal! xD Though...how are we feeling about Jacob the Cowboy (a happier version of Jacob in his youth) and John as a flirtatious but dangerous enemy? Yays, Nays, Mehs? Curious to hear your opinions and any feedback! Also I was thinking memories would involve mid-90s fashion! 
> 
> Thanks for reading! :3


	6. The Carnival

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy some cavity inducing sweet fluff of Jacob's and Joy's youthful days!

“Fucking grizzly high on Bliss,” Jacob growled through gritted teeth as he wiped crimson blood from his hunting knife with a red stained rag.

He had been patrolling the edge of his territory when suddenly a drug fueled bear rampaged down the steep mountain slope at breakneck speed directly towards Jacob. Two fearless Judges lept into action, furiously biting the mad beast, yet the Bliss addled bear would not yield nor retreat. A large paw, with 4 inch claws, swiped dangerously close to Jacob’s chest, just missing the hairs of the rabbits foot as the man threw himself backwards. 

Not wanting to accidentally shoot his wolves, Jacob unsheathed his large hunting knife. Gripping the handle, the man waited for the grizzly to rear up before he thrusted the blade into the bear’s chest, plunging it into the beast’s beating heart. With a brutal twist of the dagger, Jacob ripped his knife out. Warm blood trickled down his hands while the bear fell limp onto its side.

“Hmph,” Jacob huffed as he whipped the blood off his blade and allowed his Judges to treat themselves to bear meat. Sighing, Jacob leaned against a nearby tree trunk and took his time cleaning the knife with a clean rag.

He shouldn’t have had his guard down in the first place. However, for the past couple of days Jacob’s mind was thoroughly distracted by memories; ones he had worked so relentlessly to seal away. He closed his weary blue eyes and the image of an innocently bright honey brown gaze materialized in his mind.

After the first day of meeting Joy at the Owen's ranch, Jacob noticed that she began to spend more time hanging around the barn. From playing with Luca to even doing her homework. Jacob was sure studying would be more comfortable inside the house, than precariously perched upon the barn’s loft, but he wasn’t going to dissuade Joy...in fact Jacob was starting to enjoy her presence.

Joy was in the same grade as Joseph, both sophomores and in the same class. Jacob knew this as his brother liked to talk about his new friend at length. He himself had recently finished his senior year in Rome, Georgia before they relocated to Hope County. There had been thoughts of college, but they were fleeting; his brothers needed their protector. Instead, Jacob decided to work and earn the family extra money...God knew that his father spent most of his income on alcohol and Joseph needed new shoes for PE class. 

Luckily Mr. Owens took him on as ranch help and it had been working out quite well. Jacob was earning a tidy sum and getting stronger by the day. He even began to get into a routine of bringing Luca a treat as the dog greeted him when his truck pulled up to the barn. Jacob would do most of his mind absorbing duties early, leaving simple tasks for when Joy was around. That way he could converse with her over whatever topic struck her fancy. From science to english, though they both found a mutual enjoyment of the great outdoors from hunting to botany.

However, today Joy was acting a little odd...She was silent and would sneak furtive looks over at Jacob when she thought he wouldn’t notice. This sudden change in her behavior and focus upon him made the teenager more self aware. He spent nearly five minutes tying a knot as he seemingly couldn’t do it properly under her intense gaze.

“Jacob?” Joy finally asked and the teenager nearly dropped a basketful of eggs from being startled.

“Yes?” Jacob asked curiously, as he adjusted his gloved grip upon the basket handle.

Joy was quiet for a moment, her bright honey eyes seemed to be making a quick but serious calculation before she exhaled deeply...making Jacob very nervous.

"There's a carnival coming into town this weekend." Joy’s soft voice was tentative, completely opposite of her usual bubbly confident nature. “I was wondering if,” She was now fiddling around with her slightly chewed number 2 pencil “...you would like to go to it...with me?” Joy finally finished as she quickly glanced away before her honey brown eyes peered back at him questioningly.

Jacob was struck dumb as he just gawked back Joy. _Is she asking me out? Will this be a date?_ His poor teenage hormonal brain was on the fritz.

“I mean, Joseph and John are invited too of course, hahaha...Though I _totally_ understand if you don’t want to go. But it’s fun, it comes around every summer...has good rides...yummy funnel cake,” Joy was now rambling as she nervously tapped the pencil upon her open textbook.

“I wanna go,” Jacob softly replied.

Joy suddenly froze, pencil hovering. “Yeah?” She asked, looking pleasantly dazed.

“Yeah,” Jacob remarked with a lopsided smile.

Joy’s surprised expression turned into a mischievous smile as she stated, “Then I challenge you to the duck shooting booth.”

“Challenge accepted,” Jacob replied, feeling confident. He was an excellent shot and this would give him the opportunity to show his skill off.

“I warn you, I’ve never lost,” Joy replied sweetly, though her honey brown eyes sparkled deviously.

Happy to have spirited Joy back, Jacob couldn’t help himself as he playfully remarked, “There’s a first time for everything Miss Owens.” And with a tip of his cowboy hat, Jacob sauntered off, leaving it to be Joy’s turn to gawk after him.

“Damnit,” Present day Jacob cursed with a frown as he shook his head like a wet dog shaking off excess water. He was back in the forest wiping his knife clean as the Judges patiently awaited his next command. The memory had completely ensnared his senses, as if he was transported back in time to relive the past.

Jacob pushed himself off of the tree trunk as he sheathed his knife. It was then and there that Jacob decided he had to see Joy again. See if there was even a hint of recognition of what they had. If there was nothing, then Jacob wouldn’t force her to remember. In fact...it may be a blessing in disguise that she didn’t after what he has done. But if there was even a small ember still burning for him…

Blue eyes looked towards the southeast. Jacob could easily slip into John’s territory undetected...and finally get his answer. Allow for the memories to continue or finally cover them in the ash of the Owens’s barn...

* * *

Meanwhile, Joy was nursing a sharp stitch on her left side and a grazed bullet wound along the lateral aspect of her right bicep. It was a doozy of a battle at the Lamb of God Church complete with manic Flamethrower equipped Peggies.

It was lucky Joy and Boomer arrived when they did. A young African American woman named Grace Armstrong shouted across the rooftops that she had been holed up in the church fighting Eden’s Gate followers who would desecrate her father's grave, along with those of other fallen soldiers. 

Gritting her teeth against the burning pain, Joy finished wrapping gauze around her right arm. With a sigh, she snatched back up her newly acquired sniper rifle that had been abandoned on the roof tiles. It was a nondescript, slightly scratched up MBP .50 bolt-action sniper rifle, but it aimed and fired like a dream.

Gingerly, Joy descending the roof and found herself face to face with Grace. The woman's coffee brown eyes widened in surprise and her hanging mouth threatened to hit the floor.

“You...you can’t be real!” Grace uttered breathlessly. Her surprised gaze then became a furious storm as she pulled back her right hand and punched Joy straight in the gut.

“Ouff!” Joy yelped in pain and was about to yell _‘What the hell!’_ when Grace suddenly pulled Joy’s wheezing body into a tight hug.

“I hate you and I love you, what the god damn hell girl!” Grace exclaimed before she took a step back to thoroughly appraise Joy up and down, her hands still resting on the deputy’s shoulders.

“I’m so confused right now,” Joy wheezed, feeling downright dizzy.

“You’re confused, that’s nothing to what I’m feeling!” Grace proclaimed smiling brightly, but then her happiness faded as she noted Joy’s bewildered expression. “Okay, correction, maybe you are. Joy...why are you looking at me like?” Grace asked with a frown as her coffee eyes searched the deputy’s face. 

“I...I don’t remember you Grace,” Joy replied apologetically, though not too sorry as her gut ached from the sharpshooter’s punch. 

“Fuck!” Grace cursed as she withdrew her hands from Joy’s shoulder. “I knew it was weird…” The sharpshooter remarked as she now hugged herself as she looked down at trampled grass. “I had a feeling something was off the day you left.”

“Grace, what happened?” Joy prompted cautiously as she shifted her weight between her legs.

“Jeez Joy,” Grace sighed before anger flashed across her face again as she stared back at Joy, holding the deputy’s gaze. “You left us all hanging! I mean you and your family suddenly disappeared in the middle of the night while Jacob was still recovering in the hospital. And then I learned that Joseph and John were going into foster care homes because their dad just passed away. And all Joseph would tell me is that you left without telling why or to where!” Grace’s voice reached a crescendo until it seemed she ran out of fuel. “You didn’t even say goodbye. _Nothing_. I thought we were friends…” Grace seemed to hug herself even tighter as she looked away again.

“I’m sorry Grace,” Joy remarked softly. She was starting to hate this habit of apologizing to everyone she had forgotten. Especially those whom had she had once been close to.

Grace looked back at Joy. “Yeah?” She asked as her coffee brown gaze thoroughly searched Joy's face, as if hunting for any hint of a lie. Finally Grace tore her gaze away and sighed deeply as her arms fell limply to her sides. “I believe you. _Dammit_ ,” Grace seethed as she kicked a nearby pebble on the ground. “I thought you would come back...just sooner. I even watched over Jacob once he was discharged from the hospital. But the guy...Jesus Joy...you left him in a bad shape. He just didn’t know what to do with himself. His brothers in foster care, dad dead, and you gone without any clue of where you had moved off to. Jacob...he was lost, no direction or idea of what to do with his life.”

Grace sighed as she adjusted her baseball cap before continuing, “I...I prompted him to join the Army with me. Jacob did really well but we ended up in seperate divisions. After a while I lost touch with him completely. Didn’t reunite with him until he arrived one day here in Hope County with that Eden’s Gate circus. And it’s been downhill after that.” Grace nervously tugged at her American flag scarf.

Joy closed her eyes, bowed her head, and sighed deeply as an unseen pressure weighed down upon her body; threatening to push her straight into the ground amongst the graves.

“Hey,” Grace’s softened voice called Joy back from the darkness. “I can tell that what I said, is overwhelming.” Again the sharpshooter placed a warm comforting hand on the deputy’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, I mean it. You were...are my best friend, Joy. I don’t know if it’s amnesia or something else, but now that you’re back maybe we can figure it out.”

Joy peered back up at Grace and saw a hopeful smile spread across the woman’s lips. “Yeah, thanks,” Joy replied with a small nod, feeling a little bit better.

“Good,” Grace nodded back more firmly before withdrawing her hand. “Now, just give me a moment here to say goodbye to my dad and the folks,” The woman looked down at the tombstones surrounding them. “Then let’s make our way to Fall’s End. I know of a few more people who need to know you’re back.”

Joy silently nodded and walked quietly away to give Grace privacy. She spotted Boomer curled up on a nearby bench for a well earned powernap. Silently, the deputy continued to stroll through the cemetery, when something caught her ears.

Music, it was soft, barely audible...but the low notes of the tune were oddly familiar. Straining her ears to get a better listen, Joy wandered to the end of the cemetary’s ground. The church was nestled in the foothills of the forested mountain range.

 _“Only you can make all this world seem right.”_ The tune played from somewhere deeper in the forest. Joy followed after it, as if her feet guided themselves through the padlocked gate.

 _“Only you can make the darkness bright.”_ She passed silently through the overgrown forest looking here and there, the song growing louder with each step forward.

 _“Only you and you alone can thrill me like you do.”_ There, towards the small clearing where the sun rays filtered through.

 _“And fill my heart with love for only you.”_ Joy stepped into the clearing, and at the other end was a small brown box cracked open. A music box? The song had been familiar, so entrancing that it pulled Joy towards it. It meant something to her, deeply, she just knew it...but what, why, who? Nearly lost in thought that Joy had not realized that the music had stopped and the sounds of something moving towards her reached her ears. Quickly she readied her sniper rifle. Wincing slightly at the bite of pain in her arm.

Twigs snapped, leaves of the underbrush rustled, and two large white grey mottled wolves stalked out of the forest, bearing crimson crosses upon their foreheads.

 _Oh Shit!_ Joy’s heart leapt inside her ribcage as she aimed her rifle, but her arm wound burned angrily at the sudden movement. This was not going to end well...

Then, following in between the large white wolves, strode out Jacob Seed with a crimson sniper rifle at the ready. 

Joy felt every muscle in her body freeze up at the sight of him. In her mind, the image of a lanky bright eyed smiling teenaged Jacob clashed against the man that stood at the opposite side of the clearing.

Blue eyes now hardened and wary. Joy could see darkened circles underneath them. His full beard covered a stronger jaw. The patches of exposed rough scarred skin were softened by the warm sun rays. No longer lanky, he was now a giant amongst men, towering, with a muscular body trained and honed to survive.

Grace’s words reverberated in Joy’s mind, ' _You left him in a bad shape. He just didn’t know what to do with himself.’_

Joy’s gaze spotted Jacob’s blood stained his hands, and her honey brown eyes narrowed. This man had also been killing people, innocent people. The deputy readied her gun. Unsure of what was going to happen, with the history Grace had told her and Joy’s own fleeting memory... _there had been something between her and Jacob in the past_...Joy just didn’t know what to expect from present day Jacob Seed; nor of herself.

“Stay,” Jacob ordered the wolves in a rough voice that made Joy gulp; it was even deeper than she remembered. The Judges obediently sat down, causing Joy to feel even more baffled at the man’s intent.

“Easy there, you might shoot something,” Jacob’s deep graveled voice rumbled as he stowed his red sniper rifle behind his back and raised his hands up to show her empty palms. His weary blue eyes looked away from her face, clearly noting her gauzed wrapped right arm, before he gazed back at her face.

Seeing his signal for _‘I come in peace’,_ Joy lowered her gun, slightly. “I guess, as long as you aren’t a duck, you’re safe,” Joy quipped....then cringed at her lame remark. _Where the hell did that come from?!_

But her words had an effect on Jacob for his body froze stiffly as his blue eyes widened. “Say that again,” his rough voice practically begged.

Joy paused and as she repeated her words, her eyes traveled down to the rabbits foot laying upon his chest, before a memory suddenly swallowed her whole.

 **‘Ding ding!’** Chimed the bells as the carnival opened up to the evening crowd. It was quickly swamped with eager Hope County residents as gleeful shouts and the delicious smell of fried food blossomed into the warm summer air. 

Quickly Joy made her way to the Duck shooting booth. With hair swept up into a simple ponytail, she wore the same white knee length short sleeve dress with the golden marigold design. A nice throwback, or at least she thought so. 

Joy was a bit early and decided to do one round of duck shooting just to recall the feel of the booth’s provided guns. Relaxing her nerves and steadying her breathing, Joy took aim at one of the many metal cut out yellow ducks swimming through the three horizontal lanes made of a blue metal water.

“Careful now,” rumbled a voice quite close to her left ear. “You might shoot something.”

“As long as you aren’t a duck, you’re safe,” Joy snorted as she pulled a trigger. **PING!** Resounded the sound of the bullet knocking over the metal duck just as it mechanically swam by. Smiling smugly, Joy turned her attention to the owner of the voice. But her honey brown eyes widened in surprise.

Jacob wasn’t wearing his usual work day outfit. Instead he wore a green flannel that brought out his eye and hair color. Speaking of his hair, Joy noticed that he had forgone the usually cowboy hat and instead carefully slicked back his short auburn hair. Dark denim jeans were tucked into black boots, and there was a brown string holding a silver whistle she hadn’t seen before. 

Jacob must have realized how close their faces were as a slight blush blossomed on his cheeks and he quickly stood straight up. “So, the challenge?” Jacob quickly remarked as he stuffed his hands into his pockets and nodded towards the booth.

Clearing her throat quickly, Joy replied, “Oh, yeah. The winner is determined by who shoots the most ducks down in five seconds.” As she explained, Jacob took his place next to her and picked up the other gun, feeling its weight and testing out its aim. Joy avidly watched him appraise the gun until he paused and looked a little embarrassed. 

“Ready?” Joy asked with a challenging smile as she readied her shooting pistol again.

“Always,” Jacob remarked in a strong yet warm tone as he aimed the game booth’s gun.

The Carny counted out loud for the pair as they kept their focus on the three rows of ducks. The sound of ringing **PING!-PING!-PING!** chorused through the air. So focused on her shooting, Joy didn’t notice that Jacob had paused for the last second, just to watch her with an enamored expression.

“Yes!” Joy cheered with a little jump as she won by one more duck. 

“Nice Joy,” Jacob congratulated, causing her cheeks to feel warm again as she smiled.

“Very good young lady,” the Carny lauded. “What will be your prize?”

“Oh, um, hmmm…” Joy murmured as her eyes rummaged through the prizes until she spotted a fuzzy brown rabbits foot. “The rabbits foot please,” Joy requested. She then fiddled with it in her hands before meeting Jacob’s curious gaze.

“Here, a little good luck present from me,” Joy coyly offered the rabbits foot up to him.

Jacob looked surprised at first as he looked down at the rabbits foot then back at Joy’s smiling face and twinkling honey brown eyes. “Thanks,” he softly replied as he took the rabbits foot from her hand, his rough fingers grazing hers. “Happy to have luck in my life since...I already have joy,” Jacob added as he fastened the brown rabbits foot onto the same chain that held his silver whistle.

Joy blushed furiously at his remark. Her heart was now beating like a little bird inside her ribcage.

“So, what do you suggest next?” Jacob asked as he looked back at her.

In response, Joy’s ravenous belly growled hungrily and loudly! She quickly looked away feeling downright embarrassed. _Tratorious guts!_

“What about that funnel cake you talked about?” Jacob chuckled.

“Oh yeah! It’s sooo good!” Joy exclaimed, instantly forgetting her embarrassment as she began to tell him about all the available flavors. And the pair walked off, side by side, a little closer this time.

Joy returned to the present day, her eyes still staring at the brown rabbits foot. She then dared to lift her gaze up to connect with Jacob’s and she inhaled sharply for blue eyes had softened back at her.

Finally, he spoke up as his low rough voice asked, “Say my name.”

“Jacob,” Joy breathed into the silent air as her hands fell to her sides, nearly dropping the rifle.

The oldest Seed brother took a cautious step forward, as if any sudden movement would spook her into running away from him, for good.

“Again,” he whispered thickly, his adam’s apple bobbing as he gulped and took another careful step forward. Then another until he stood right in front of her.

“Jacob,” Joy whispered as she lifted her head to look up into his brightening soulful blue eyes. He was so close now that Joy could smell his musk; a masculine mix of sweat, earthen wood, and spice.

“Only you....” Jacob's voice rumbled from deep within his chest as his eyes searched hers.

“Joy!?” Yelled Grace’s voice followed by Boomer’s barks. Joy looked behind her shoulder to see the pair weave their way through the forest. Joy turned back to Jacob, but he had gone. Vanished like a ghost along with the music box and two wolves.

“Jesus Joy!” Grace exclaimed with relief. “You can’t just walk off like that!” She then chided with a frown.

“Jacob...he was here, or I thought he was,” Joy replied, in an almost dreamy voice. Maybe it was just all in her mind?

* * *

“What!” Grace exclaimed loudly and she sprinted through the forest clearing, keen eyes searching the forest beyond. But there was no hint of the eldest Seed, nor his wolves. 

“Huh,” Grace huffed as she looked about. “It’s rare for the Heralds to visit another's region. Based on Resistance’s intel, they only met up at Joseph's compound. Smart move, not staying in one location together reduces the chances of taking out multiple Seeds.” 

Shaking her capped head, Grace walked back towards Joy. Then the sharpshooter noticed Boomer sniffing at large paw prints left in the mud. Larger than the native wolves…Judges. _‘So Jacob had been here and Joy was left unharmed’_ , Grace thought before she tore her gaze away from the tracks. She then appraised her old friend. Joy could be the key to bringing them down...from the inside. But then another thought occurred to Grace. The sharpshooter came to stand right in front of Joy and drew in a deep breath. “Do you still love Jacob?”

“I....” Joy began, though she looked even more dazed and confused. With honey brown eyes wide and sincere, Joy whispered, “I don’t know…”

 _Well shit..._ Grace thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So took alot of liberty with Jacob’s childhood, but I really hope you enjoyed it :3
> 
> Google search: “A grizzly bear's front claws measure about 2–4 inches in length; a black bear's claws measure about 1–2 inches in length.” o.O


	7. The Cleansing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I touch upon Far Cry Absolution prequel tie-in novel as I wanted to polish off background stories to various characters. Many events happening in this chapter, I truly hope you will enjoy it :3

Falls End had an infestation problem, for it was crawling with Peggies...some quite literally after having their kneecaps shot off.

Joy, along with Grace and Boomer, fought tooth and nail to oust the pests from the town. The trio really had quite the knack for it. Maybe Joy should make them t-shirts; something catchy like, Peggie Exterminators, or Peggie Infestation Services? The woman pondered about it as she soaked up the warm midday sun. Joy's arms were crossed upon her chest as she leaned against the rooftop's machine gun. She had used it earlier that day to bring down a plane that was threatening to wipe the town off the map.

“Hey!” Hollered Grace’s voice over the radio. “Joy? Earth to Joy? Over.”

“I was just brainstorming a little business venture we could put together,” Joy mused back into the speaker. “How does Peggie Infestation Services sound?”

“Uh Joy, the acronym for that would be P.I.S, so I’m gonna say no,” Grace replied and Joy could imagine the woman’s soured expression. “Now get down from there and come to the Spread Eagle. Everyone’s celebrating the liberation and there are a couple of folks you have to meet. Grace out.”

Sighing, Joy found the nearest ladder and carefully descended. Her right arm was still aching as she didn’t give it much rest and care. Quickly, the woman walked across the road, noting how all of the various Eden’s Gate regalia had been stripped from the buildings.

There was an exuberant crowd celebrating inside the Spread Eagle and Joy didn’t know where to go or what to do until a warm hand came to rest on her shoulder. Joy quickly spun around to look up at the smiling face of an African American man who looked vaguely familiar. He was dressed in a Pastor’s outfit, with the unusual addition of a kevlar vest. Cradled in his other hand was a large bible.

“Now I don’t claim to know God’s plan,” the Pastor began in a low warm tone. “But, I know your return to us is godsend.” He ushered Joy towards the bar before indicating for her to take a seat as he perched himself on the next barstool. “Now, tell me Joy, why are you back in Hope County?” He asked as he set the bible down on the counter before giving her his undivided attention. “Mind, I don’t want to seem ungrateful of your timely rescue.”

“Wait, you’re from around here,” Came a feminine voice from behind a tall stack of crates; followed by Grace who carried even more crates. A blonde pleasant faced young woman appeared after setting her load down. She walked over to the other side of the counter and peered at Joy, then to the Pastor expectantly.

“Yeah, Joy even knows the S…” Grace was about to continue when she caught the Pastor’s look of warning. “Er...knows all about the Testy Festy, loves it, absolutely...loves it.”

Joy grimaced at her friend, she had no clue what the Testy Festy was and at this point was too afraid to ask.

“Wow! Casey is going to flip when he finds out,” The young woman chuckled as she looked over her shoulder back to the man with a black haired ponytail tending the kitchen. “Oh where are my manners, I’m Mary May Fairgrave, maybe you knew my dad, Gary Fairgrave?” Mary asked as she returned her attention back onto Joy.

“I’m sorry, I don’t...actually,” Joy turned to look at the Pastor, who’s smile slowly faded as he viewed her expression. “I don’t remember much of my life back here in Hope County.”

The Pastor frowned and looked over at Grace, who just nodded solemnly before taking a big gulp of her beer.

“Well, that is unfortunate, but not without its reason,” The Pastor mused thoughtfully as he rubbed his short bearded chin.

Joy on the other hand, snorted derisively. She wasn’t feeling too particularly blessed by her childhood amnesia.

“Hmmm, I need to speak to Joy, privately, at the church,” The Pastor indicated to the other two ladies, who simply nodded back. He then bade Joy to follow back outside. 

Once in the warm sunlight the Pastor paused. “Joy Owens, I’m Jerome Jeffries,” He stated with a hand extended out to her.

Joy simply shook it feeling a little sad at first until she glanced at his smile.

“It’s a little weird re-introducing oneself to an old school friend. But, these are weird times indeed,” Jerome chuckled good-naturedly. “I think I might have something in the church that may help jog your memory.”

Joy followed Jerome to the simple white church. She noted how a part of the chapel had become a makeshift medical ward with bloodied mattresses laid about and a few used medical kits nearby.

Jerome continued towards a large obsidian safe and after unlocking it, retrieved a large book, a scrapbook. “Father was always keen on keeping the precious moments of Hope County alive. Here, take a look,” Jerome becokened as he held out the album.

Joy eagerly took the heavy volume. Turning away, she plopped herself down upon the first row of pews, and began flipping through the pages. Pasted on with glue were polaroids and photos of all sorts of events from barn dances during seasonal festivals to the celebrations of won little league games. There were even snippets of old black and white newspaper clippings:

_“Go Cougars!” The High School Cougars baseball team win big at the state championship making the entire county swell with Cougar pride!_

_“Serving our Nation!” Three of our own are shipping off to serve our great nation. Give your best to Jerome Jeffries, Grace Armstrong, and Jacob Seed!_

_“Amazing Grace Armstrong” Give a cheer for our local war veteran as she adds Olympic bronze medalist for sharpshooting on her resume! Bowden Scopes announces official sponsorship of Grace Armstrong!_

_“Who’s a Good Boy?” Boomer is! Not only has Boomer won this year’s Regional Bird Dog Championship, the positive pup also helped local firemen keep kids safe from a raging fire that ravaged an RV home in Henbane River. Is there anything this dog can’t do?!_

_“Church Bake-Off”_...there, Joy’s eyes roved the clipping of a group of kids standing all together for the newspaper’s photo. In front, beginning the first row were two kids Joy didn’t recognize, a young boy with what looked like singed hair was grinning broadly, with a couple of missing teeth, as he wrapped his arm around the next boy who was a bit chubbier with a mullet and was in mid-laughter. Next to the boy stood...John, Joy knew it instantly. A little shy smiling cherub-faced dark haired boy dressed in his Sunday’s best was hugging a worn stuffed teddy bear with one arm, and the other was holding the hand of...was that her? Her fluffy brown hair was left down this time, splayed across her shoulders and over a white short sleeved dress. She was smiling brightly causing her eyes to squint, and upon her head was a crown of daisy-chained flowers. 

Next to her, Joseph? Yes, his face was unmistakable as it was framed by soft shoulder length hair. Joseph’s face was thin, but a serene smile graced his smooth image. He too wore his Sunday’s best, but his clothes seemed a bit baggy on him. Long sleeves...Joy sharply remembered that Joseph always wore long sleeves no matter the weather, no matter the heat.

Behind the first row stood the taller kids, Jacob wore his Sunday’s best, paired with a well worn cowboy hat. He stood directly behind Joy, and Jacob was smiling...broadly, brightly. It sent her heart aflutter.

Tearing her gaze away from the oldest Seed, Joy noticed that standing at his sides were a younger Jerome and Grace. Both looked happy, innocent, carefree...

“After you left,” Jerome began to speak, breaking the silence of the quiet church. “Joseph kinda became more closed off to Grace and I. We weren’t as close to him as you were...but, he was still our friend and we tried to be there for him when we could. Joseph was shuttled from one foster home to next. Didn’t seem he could connect with anyone. Then he just disappeared.”

Joy looked up from the scrapbook. “I saw from the newspaper clipping, you left with Grace and Jacob to join the army,” She remarked as she gazed up at the Pastor. 

Jerome simply nodded as he leaned against the altar and crossed his arms over his kevlar protected chest. “We all started together; Hope County Grunts,” The Pastor smiled warmly at Joy. “Jacob, he was a fine soldier, strong, disciplined, a natural born leader. Later during the Gulf War he was hand selected for a special mission...and I didn’t hear from him after he left.” 

Jerome sighed as he shook his head, then peered out of the nearby broken window. “After my tour of duty, I came back to Hope County and took on as Pastor after my father passed away. Grace soon came back home after I did. Quite a few years of relative peace until Eden’s Gate showed up. I couldn’t believe it was them: Joseph, Jacob, and John. They had all changed.”

Joy looked back down at the group photo of a happier time. “Dutch seems to think I can use my history with the Seeds to bring them down,” The woman remarked quietly.

“Hmmm,” Jerome hummed thoughtfully as he looked back at his old friend. “And what does your heart say?” He asked gently. 

Joy’s gloved hand glossed over the photo, a time she didn’t remember, but clearly cherished. Joy took in a deep breath and raised her honey brown gaze to meet Jerome’s. “Save them. If I can.”

“Hmmm,” The Pastor hummed thoughtfully before he closed his eyes. Then he began to speak in his strong and warm sermon voice, “He will wipe every tear from your eyes. _‘There will be no more death, or mourning, or crying, or pain. For I know the plans that I have made for you,’_ declared the Lord. _‘Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. But plans to give you hope and a future’_.”

Letting his words wash over her, Joy just stared at Jerome as his eyes slowly opened. The weight of the scrapbook now felt far more heavier upon her lap. She carefully closed the scrapbook and silently handed back the book to the Pastor.

“Helloooo Dep-yo-tee Owens," Came a voice out of Joy’s radio, making both Joy and Jerome jump. The Pastor nearly let the scrapbook fall out of his grasp.

“That’s John,” Jerome practically whispered as if the very man was just outside the church’s door. 

Meanwhile Joy’s heart felt like it had just ran a marathon from the sudden spook, and she wondered what John wanted to say.

"I know you’re listening. Might I have a moment of your time. I know you’ve been busy, a little too busy one might say. But how about we have a little chat?” John’s pleasantly silky voice reverberated within the gun riddled walls of the chapel.

Joy retrieved the radio from her backpack, cleared her voice and simply replied, “John.”

“Joy,” John’s voice seemed to perk up even more at her response. “Have you seen my broadcast? I specially filmed it just for you, Joy,” John remarked tantalizingly.

Joy frowned, then looked over to Jerome who shrugged back in confusion. The woman pressed down the transmitter button as she replied, “To be honest, I haven’t John. I’ve been a bit preoccupied, surely you understand.”

There was a momentary pause on the other end before John’s voice piped back up, “I’m trying to decide if I should consider my feelings to be hurt or not, Joy.”

“That depends John, do you have any feelings to begin with?” Joy retaliated sweetly.

“Ouch,” He responded with a mockingly hurt voice. “You wound me Joy.”

“If this is all that takes to do so, then I should have radioed you sooner,” Joy sarcastically replied as she rolled her eyes. This present day John was quite with suave type. And she recalled how well manicured he was on their first meeting.

“You know what would be even more effective?” John paused before revealing, “If you were to come over to my ranch. We could have a more personal chat, maybe even a confession, perhaps over some lemonade? I know how much you liked fresh lemonade.”

Fresh lemonade, the very words seemed to elicit a strong sense of nostalgia from deep within. “We’ll see John, we’ll see,” Joy replied softly before she stowed the radio away into her pack.

Jerome shook his head as he pushed himself off the altar. “Let’s go see what this broadcast is all about,” he prompted and the two quickly headed back to the Spread Eagle, where upon the mounted television, something was playing out.

A happy tune sang softly from the television as John’s spokesperson persona greeted the viewers of Spread Eagle with an amiable smile. Yet the hints between the words he spoke were not missed upon Joy.

Joy watched in horror as Joey was paraded onto the screen, clearly looking distressed. _Dammit John._ She had been so lost in the past, that Joy had forgotten what the Seeds had become in the present. Her fingernails dug into the skin of her clenched fists. She had to do something about this; Joy had to confront John.

Grace turned wide alarmed eyes upon her. “Oh no, I know that look, Joy...hello...it’s a trap!” The woman took a step so that she was now in between Joy and the broadcast as it replayed the Baptist’s message. “John knows you, he knows you will come to him to rescue that deputy. Why make it easier for him!”

Stubbornly, Joy didn’t answer, she had made up her mind to go, but to do what and how was still a blank. Yet she couldn’t deny the strong feeling within her, that if she just talked to John...if she just remembered...she could somehow stop this madness.

Warm hands clasped her shoulder as Grace added in a softer gentler tone, “You can’t trust him Joy. He’s become a monster. The John we knew is no longer alive.”

“I have to try,” Joy remarked resolutely as Jerome’s earlier word’s haunted her mind. ' _Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. But plans to give you hope and a future.'_

“I have to try…” Joy repeated, without a feeling a hint of doubt within her body.

“Of course you do,” Grace sighed wearily as she rubbed her face with her hand.

"Wait, you know the Seeds?” Mary May’s sudden words made the two women turn to look back at her.

Mary May slammed the two glasses of beer down onto the wooden counter with a loud thud, unable to contain her boiling anger. “They took my Pa, took my brother, captured me and you know what John did?” Mary May hissed. “He drugged me up with that Bliss shit and baptized me against my will!” 

“And then what do you think that sick-fuck did next?” Mary May growled and Joy knew she was going to hate what was coming. She tensed as Mary May pulled down the neck of her shirt revealing angrily scarred flesh that spelled out the words ‘ **ENVY** ’. “He carved it into my skin, and hummed a merry tune as he did it!”

Joy now realized why Jerome had cut off Grace from revealing her ties to the Seeds in front of Mary. The woman had molten blue fire burning in her eyes.

“I’ll take care of him,” Joy stated without a hint of emotion that would betray otherwise. 

“You do that. Make that sick-fuck pay, painfully and dearly,” Mary May growled as she pushed herself off of the counter and stalked towards the kitchen.

Joy watched the other woman go. She felt as if she wore an unfeeling mask upon her face to protect the emotional turmoil that swelled just underneath. _Save the Seeds...or simply end them_. Joy's resolution to go did not waver, but she knew deep within her heart that her path will indeed bear more death, mourning, crying...and pain.

The deputy was about to turn and walk away when Grace's warm hand clasped her shoulder again.

“Joy wait, at least do surveillance of his base first,” the sharpshooter pleaded.

"Alright," Joy sighed and nodded, which seemed to be enough for Grace to withdraw her hand.

The sharpshooter followed Joy back out into the late day air; soon night would set. “At least gather intel on how many people are guarding the ranch and such before you sacrifice yourself like a lamb.”

Joy stiffened at Grace’s last words. Joseph’s sermon echoed in her mind, _‘...and Hell followed with him, returning my lost lamb back to me…’_

“What’s wrong?” Grace asked as she reloaded her sniper rifle.

Joy gulped. “Nothing,” she remarked with a quick smile. “Nothing at all.”

* * *

Dusk was now settling upon their backs as Grace and Joy laid hidden in the cover of the underbrush. They had plopped themselves a distance away from John’s ranch and viewed the estate through the scopes of their sniper rifles.

John’s ranch was definitely the nicest building Joy had seen since arriving in Hope County. It probably helps that no one was shooting at it.

“Groups of five, every thirty minutes, shift change is in person so lookout spots are never abandoned. They have it down like clockwork and I can’t find any weak points to sneak in,” Grace sighed as she lowered her rifle and stretched her neck. “This organization has Jacob’s name written all over it.”

Joy, still viewing the estate’s grounds through her scope, stiffened at the mention of the oldest Seed. The deputy took a steadying breath and willed her muscles to relax. “Alright, let’s head back. Maybe I’ll radio Dutch and see what advice he has,” Joy remarked as she glanced over at her partner.

“Yeah, I like that plan,” Grace smiled back at her as she stowed away her sniper rifle. No doubt relieved that Joy wasn’t going to storm right into the compound.

The two women wriggled backwards through the overgrowth until they felt it was safe enough to stand up. Silently they walked along the river, heading back to the hidden truck they borrowed from Mary May.

Suddenly four trucks, from each cardinal direction, screeched to a dirt cloud tossing halt. The vehicles were full of Peggies and one screamed out, “Get ‘em!” As they leapt out of the cars.

_Shit!_

“An ambush! Run!” Grace yelled and the pair broke into a sprint.

“This way!” Grace commanded as she pointed towards a large round culvert at the base of the river

Controlling her breathing, Joy followed her friend when suddenly something hit her in the back with enough force to make the woman trip. With arms flailing, Joy was able to catch herself with her other leg, but a burning pain blossomed along her back, causing the muscles to seize up.

“Joy!” Grace screamed as she came to a halt and pivoted to turn around and run back towards her.

“Get out of here!” Joy yelled back, or at least...she thought she did. Her voice seemed to stretch out and warble. The sunset seemed oddly wiggly and wobbly...then the whole world spun about Joy as if she were a spinning top. Finally the vertigo defeated her, and the woman fell to the ground panting.

“This is the one?” Came a muffled masculine voice from a human shaped shadow hovering above her. “She doesn’t seem worthy.”

“The Baptist believes so, he has been searching for her,” another deeper voice added from somewhere above her head.

Joy felt hands lift her up, but the sudden change in position was just enough to let her slip into the dark abyss. 

* * *

Suddenly Joy was wet, all wet...and she couldn’t fucking breathe! Alarmed and running out of air, Joy realized she was being held under water! The deputy wanted to fight whatever held her down, but as she tried flailing her arms and legs about, her appendages felt so floppy and weak. _Not like this...I’m not going out like this!_ Joy was about to bite the hand that held her down when shouting above caught her attention.

Someone pushed aside the shadow holding her down, and pulled her out of the water. Joy gasped and coughed, clinging to whoever held her as if they were her lifeline. Oddly enough, Joy didn’t feel panicked at all even as the vertigo subsided. Instead, with air filling her lungs, she felt at peace with this oddly wobbly world... _Joy felt free_...

“I’ve been waiting for you,” murmured a deep silky voice just above her head. 

Joy became aware that she was being held gently, hugged even. She tilted her head to look up at the warm stranger and blinked slowly as the world was suddenly filled with little twinkling lights.

“Oh dear, I think they gave you a little too much Bliss,” The face sighed with an apologetic smile. The details slowly coming into focus.

Bright blue eyes, ohhh she remembers those eyes. 

“Hey...Johnny,” Joy murmured thickly before her head lolled back as if it was a little too heavy for her neck.

Quickly John cradled the back of her head, though he didn’t speak. Instead he just stared down at her with crisp blue eyes widened in surprise; as if Joy had just declared herself ready for Eden’s Gate.

“Look at all the fireflies,” Joy gasped and chuckled softly as she looked about at the little shimmering dancing lights.

“Like little fairies,” John whispered as the shocked expression softened into a knowing smile.

“Yeah,” Joy chuckled dreamily, “Fairies in the moonlight.”

* * *

John saw it, irrefutable recognition sparkling within those bright honey brown eyes. She even smiled back at him and called him by his nickname. John felt grateful, even blessed for that moment, as he just quietly held her within his arms. 

“John,” beckoned the smooth even toned voice of Joseph. “Bring her to me,” he calmly ordered from the riverbank.

John’s body stiffened before he replied, “Brother.” Yet, for a brief second, the youngest Seed hesitated as he continued to hug Joy. At last _...his Joy..._

“We have our mission, John, and we each have our roles,” Joseph’s voice added serenely. Yet there was a force veiled within it, like the dangerous sweeping undertow of a calm ocean current.

Slowly, John helped Joy walk, prompting her to lean upon him as much as she needed. Her movements were sluggish, and a little clumsy. But, working together they joined Joseph at the pebbled shore.

“Joe,” John heard Joy whisper softly as her bleary gaze settled upon the man. He watched as a dreamy smile spread upon her lips.

In response, Joseph smiled softly as he reached out, carefully cradling the sides of the woman’s head. “Joy, I knew it,” Joseph gently spoke. “You are not beyond salvation. I will save you,” He pressed his warm forehead against Joy as he closed his eyes. “Just as you saved me,” Joseph whispered before gently letting Joy go so that she returned to leaning her damp head back upon John’s chest.

“Now that she has been cleansed,” Joseph remarked as he tore his orchere tinted gaze away from Joy. “She must confess her sin. You remember what it is. Make sure Joy remembers, and confesses.”

Joseph then leaned forward and pressed his warm forehead against John’s. “John, this is your duty, do not let the Gates of Eden shut the both of you out.”

“I understand brother,” John replied as Joseph leaned back, nodded solemnly, and took one last glance at Joy before he turned to walk away.

In the silence, John didn’t dare himself to speak. It was as if the Bliss had woven a spell upon Joy and he was afraid he would break it. Instead he quietly and carefully helped Joy slide into the back seat of a black SUV.

“Where are we going Johnny?” Joy asked, almost sleepily, as she leaned back into the seat allowing John to buckle her in.

The youngest Seed paused for a moment as he gazed down at Joy, who had closed her eyes and sighed deeply. “Home, Joy, we are going home.” And he gently tucked a stray lock of drying hair back behind her ear.

“Home…” Joy sighed again. “My parents were going to adopt you...did ya’ know that? If I didn’t have to leave, my folks were going to adopt you, Joseph, and Jacob.” Joy chuckled dazedly, “One big happy family.”

John leaned heavily against the car’s door frame, absorbing the gravity of the woman’s words. What if the Owens had adopted them...the three Seed brothers. How different life would have been. No beatings, no torture, no ‘yes’, just to make it stop...

_What’s done, is done, but..._

“We can still be one big happy family Joy,” John whispered gently, before he closed the car door.

He slipped into the driver’s seat, turning the large car on with a rumbling roar. A quick peek through the rearview mirror showed that the noise didn’t bother Joy at all as she seemed to be napping serenely in the back seat. John smiled softly before turning his attention back to driving.

Gently, John drove the SUV down the country road. He was feeling like things were finally shaping up, coming together just as Joseph had promised...until something slammed right into the SUV, causing him to swerve wildly before striking headlong into a large tree trunk.

In the sudden sea of black, John heard the sound of tires screeching to a halt, several voices shouting, a dog barking, and the sound of his SUV’s horn blaring. “Fuck,” John groaned as he lifted his head. Pain blossomed upon his forehead, but at least the SUV’s earsplitting horn subsided.

“Hurry! Grab her! Peggies are coming!” A man’s familiar voice spoke up.

 _No no no_...John wheezed as something warm and sticky trickled down his forehead. The youngest Seed willed his painfully stiffening neck to turn to the side. Through the eye that was not swelling shut, John saw hands unbuckle Joy and tug her out of the back seat.

_Grace and Jerome..._

“No!” John bellowed at them like a savage beast as anger raged within him. The laceration upon his forehead began to seep, causing more blood to dribble down his face. “Don’t take her! I just got her back!” He yelled, spitting out blood as he furiously tried to unbuckle himself from the driver’s seat.

“Don’t you fucking dare take her away from me again!” John screamed into the night.

_And Joy was gone...again..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhh, a couple more hints sprinkled into this chapter! I hope you liked it <3
> 
> The newspaper clippings are loosely based on the news papers hung up on the wall at Hope County Jail. I thought it would add nicely to the story overall. Make it feel like Joy, Joseph, John, and Jacob were a part of Hope County growing up.
> 
> And who were the two unknown boys in the Church Bake off picture? I bet you know! ;)


	8. Only you...or so I thought

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, I feel like this chapter is a bit of an emotional roller coaster, so buckle yourself in and enjoy the ride!

“I think he's a little furious,” Jerome commented breathlessly, as he helped Joy walk as quickly as possible towards Mary May’s blue, now dented, pick up truck.

“Just a little?!” Grace snorted derisively as John furiously screamed behind them. Trying to block out the youngest Seed’s raging bellows, Grace helped Joy flop into the back seat. A hoard of trucks, no doubt filled to the brim with Peggies, were inbound.

“Hey guys,” Joy murmured and groggily lifted her head to gaze at Grace and Jerome. “Aw, I love you guys. Best buddies, Go Cougars!” Joy cheered as her head lolled back onto the seat she had been laid across on.

“Shit! She’s Blissed out of her mind!” Grace groaned as she quickly buckled herself in the front passenger seat. Peering over her shoulder, Grace watched as Boomer licked Joy’s face.

“Luca? Luca! Who's a good boy!” Joy exclaimed as she tried patting Boomer with a floppy hand.

“Wait, is the Bliss making her remember?” Grace remarked in surprise as the car took off down the dirt country road. The sharpshooter became contemplative, though frowned as she bit her lip for an idea had come to her, unfortunately it was a terrible one...

“Grace, no,” Jerome replied strongly as he gave his friend a stern look through his glasses before returning his attention to the dark road. “We can’t use Bliss just to make Joy remember. It’s a dangerous, addictive drug. As if we need to give Faith a weapon to hold over Joy.”

“Alright alright, dammit. I just…” Grace sighed heavily as she leaned back into the passenger seat and closed her eyes tightly for a moment.

“I know, I know Grace. I want her to remember too,” Jerome remarked softly. “Believe in the Lord, for Joy will find the answers she needs at her own pace.” Jerome turned the steering wheel down the path towards Falls End before adding in a low thoughtful voice, “Some things are just not meant to be rushed and nor should we fall into temptation to do so.”

“I hate how level-headed you are sometimes,” Grace sighed as she opened her coffee brown eyes. “But, I’m always thankful for it." 

“Hope County Grunts?” Jerome asked with a small smile as he slowed down the car.

“Hope County Grunts,” Grace replied with a soft smile and a nod, just as the truck came to a gentle stop.

* * *

The twinkling lights that shimmered around Joy turned into softly green pulsating fireflies. The luminescent bugs were dancing in the warm summer night air, straying ever teasingly out of reach as she, Johnny, and Joe collected them in mason jars.

"We are catching fairies in the moonlight!" Johnny squealed with delight while Joe capped the lid upon their glowing treasure.

At the far corner of the ranch, a picnic table was prepped with s'more fixings and chilled lemonade, supplied by Joy's parents. Nearby, Jacob along with Grace and Jerome, were working on making a large bonfire that would be worthy of the last day of summer. 

Slowly they all gathered around the crackling flame, toasting marshmallows on long sticks. Jerome broke out his guitar and Grace entertained them with her soulful voice as she sang Don McLean’s American Pie. Then Joe floored everyone with an angelic version of Amazing Grace.

Jacob plopped himself down next to Joy, and she felt her heart skip a beat. She noticed that the rabbits foot she had gifted Jacob had become a staple of his wardrobe.

Grace began to dance with Johnny and his teddy bear, as Jerome and Joe sang a lively rendition of Sweet Home Alabama.

Joy was feeling so happy and content as she rested her head on Jacob’s shoulder. She wished this day would never end.

Then, honey brown eyes fluttered open and the weight of reality came crashing down upon her...

Rays of sunlight were creeping through cracks of a shuttered window and the warmth felt lovely on Joy’s cool skin. The woman continued to lay still as her eyes roamed about the unknown room. It was a small room, possibly an office based on the desk, nearby filled bookshelf, and a calendar hanging on the wall with Boomer’s image printed on it. 

Joy realized she was resting upon a mattress, covered by a simple blanket. Lifting her head up a little, she spotted her stuff piled at the foot of the mattress; sniper rifle, backpack, and Dutch’s camouflage trucker hat.

Now awake from her wonderfully nostalgic dream, Joy felt oddly empty. Though her wounded right arm felt much better, perfectly fine actually... 

Below the floorboards was the distinctive sound of a busy bar with low music and sizzling grease. The fragrance of juicy hamburgers reached her nose and Joy’s stomach growled deeply like a ravenous bear. Perhaps she was in the Spread Eagle? 

“Hello, Deputy Owens?...Kid?...Joy? This is Dutch, come in, over,” Came Grandpo’s raspy voice over the radio.

Joy wriggled, then inched her way to the backpack like a caterpillar, before she withdrew her radio. “Hey Grandpo, I live to see another day,” the woman sighed into the microphone.

“Hey kid, ya’ I heard you had a rough night. But John had it even rougher,” Dutch informed and Joy perked up at this news.

With the Bliss induced haze out of her system, Joy distinctively recalled being ambushed, held under water, and then how John...no _Johnny,_ pulled her out. She remembered how he had held her, almost reverently. _'Fairies in the moonlight,'_ Joy had exclaimed in her drug effected ecstasy and bright blue eyes seemed to sparkle back at her words.

And then Joseph... _Joe_...was there too. _'God, what did Joseph say as he pressed his forehead against mine?'_ Joy's mind raced through the Bliss fogged memory. _'I was not beyond salvation, and that he would save me as I had saved him...'_ Had Joy saved Joseph in the past? Or maybe he meant it more figuratively than literally? The rest of the evening was then a blur, but Joy could remember being dragged out of the car by Jerome and Grace, her arms looped over their shoulders’ for support.

“Apparently John was hurt enough during the car crash that he has hunkered down at his base to recover,” Dutch remarked.

Joy felt her heart ache at the news, her mind recalling those smiling bright blue eyes. That was the Johnny she knew, and deep in Joy's gut, she knew that was the part of John she could try to reach out to.

“John’s ranch is on complete lock down with additional guards, you won’t be able to get in. I say go sniff around Jacob’s or Faith’s territories, see what they are up to. I’ll keep an eye on John; once his security relaxes I’ll let you know and we can figure out how to rescue Deputy Hudson.”

Sighing at the setback, Joy agreed and unfurled the map of Hope County. _Henbane River or the Whitetail Mountains?_ Joy mused though as she thought of the northern region the image of a certain mountain man came to mind. Whitetail Mountains it was.

_Several hours later..._

“Dammit, where are all these Chosen coming from?” Joy growled, then winced as she licked her coppery tinged cut upon her lower lip.

The forests of the Whitetail Mountains were indeed haunted, by seemingly ghost-like Chosen and Judges. They moved so stealthily, that it seemed like the followers just popped into existence altogether. And if their sudden apparition wasn’t enough, the sons of bitches were hella hard to bring down.

The duo quickly worked out a strategy where Grace took out the Judges before the wolves could sniff Joy’s stealthy approach. Then the deputy would sneak up and take down the Chosen. Though the last one was a tousle grapple that left Joy gingerly dabbing at her busted lip. 

They must have walked straight into one of the routes the Peggies used. “Look, there is another group heading north at a brisk pace, let’s just track them this time,” Grace suggested quietly as they peered through the scopes of their rifles. Keeping a safe distance, the duo followed a group of Chosen to the motherload...Jacob’s Armory. 

Chiseled into the cliff face of the mountain, the bunker was decorated with red Eden’s Gate banners and enclosed by sharp wired top fencing. The sole entrance was secured with armed Chosen guards.

“Woah,” Grace gaped at the sheer size of the bunker. “Can you imagine just how enormous it must be inside. I don’t think even Dutch knows.”

Joy had to agree as Jacob’s Armory was not noted on her map, though it was within the region Dutch had shaded with high suspicion.

With the location discovered, the pair took out the Chosens they had been trailing...when an idea struck Joy. She had been dragging the Chosen’s body into the underbrush when her honey brown gaze peered up at the bunker, then back down at the body; a light bulb turning on.

“Joy, no,” Grace warned, her voice thick with disapproval.

“Joy, yes,” Joy whispered deviously as the lightbulb of her idea glowed even brighter.

Selecting the least bloodied, torn, and bullet ridden clothing, Joy quickly slipped off her own. She only kept her underwear before pulling on the Chosen’s outfit. Their uniform consisted of: grey cargo pants, a red long sleeved henley that bore a white Eden’s Gate symbol upon the right upper arm, a grey pocketed vest, and a long snow camouflage gilet. Giving her hat to Grace, Joy released her ponytail to slip over her head, the red ski mask with the Eden’s Gate symbol across the mouth. Her face was now completely obscured save for a crescent slit across her eyes.

“It looks quite a bit baggy on you and ugh, you smell!” Grace fanned her nose as she mimed gagging. 

“Excellent, hides my feminine figure and the Judges won’t single me out,” Joy nodded smugly at her own sheer cleverness.

“Joy, this is either going to go brilliantly, or be a complete disaster,” Grace remarked as she looked her friend up and down with a, _'God help us,'_ shake of her head. She knew Joy too well to not bother trying to dissuade the deputy from attempting this. “Just, be careful alright.”

“Always am Grace,” Joy quipped as she grinned while tossing her sniper rifle over her shoulder.

The deputy watched the Chosen go in and out and taking in a deep breath, did her best to emulate them. Head held high, she strode towards the gates. _Be confident, be strong_ , she repeated. _Be a soldier..._

As she drew near, one of the Chosen guards waved to her. “Hey, where’s the rest of…”

Eyes narrowed, Joy gruffly cut him off. “Dead,” she stated coldly. Seemed like that was all the guard needed to hear as he nodded solemnly and bade her through.

As Joy strode into the metal entrance of the bunker her eyes gazed over the words, “Sacrifice the weak,” and “You are meat.” Grimacing, the deputy entered the vault-like entrance. Once inside, she descended the echoing metal staircase, noting the several security cameras as she reached floor 01. Jacob’s Armory was a massive labyrinth of concrete and steel, eclipsing Dutch’s bunker in size and was organized with a military touch. 

Joy was passing through the Mess Hall when an armed and long bearded Peggie, who was restocking shelves, paused to look her way with an inquiring gaze. Joy nodded his way, remarking deeply, “Reporting in.” The Peggie nodded back, and resumed going through the crate of canned food.

Joy turned the corner and came to a halt. There in a medium size nook was a place of worship, complete with an altar, flower pots, and a painting of Joseph. It seemed totally out of place in the cold militaristic environment.

“Hey where are you going?” Shouted a masculine voice, nearly causing Joy to squeak in surprise. She spun about to see another Chosen marching her way as he waved his arms about in annoyance. “You’re gonna miss Jacob’s meeting! Ya’ new or something?”

“Yes,” Joy grunted as she was directed into a large room off of the hallway. Inside was a white walled gym filled with various exercise equipment and a large sparring mat at the center. Lined against the wall were a dozen other Chosens waiting, weapons resting at their feet, and Joy took her place at the end. She noticed a couple Peggies had curiously looked her way for she was definitely the shortest Chosen of them all. 

The main Chosen poked his head back out into the hallway as he barked out, “All here sir!” 

Heavy boots drew near, and the line of Chosen stood at attention. From the doorway strode in Jacob, dressed only in a well fitted black t-shirt and green fatigue trousers. The various necklaces bounced upon his broad chest as he lumbared into the room. 

Joy’s heartbeat quicken for she was deep inside the hornet's nest now...

“I want to see where my elite stand,” Jacob growled gruffly as he continued to make his way to the sparring mat. “I’ve received reports that my Chosen are losing left and right.”

Joy stood stock still as she wondered how many of those reports were due to her and Grace. And now she was wearing the stolen garb of one of their dead, standing at attention to the eldest Seed who seemed to be radiating silent fury. _Ohhhh_ , Joy gulped, she was going to die here.

“Unacceptable,” Jacob growled as he came to a halt at the center of the mat. “I will test your strength,” He announced gruffly upon turning to face the line of his Chosen; his hardened blue eyes lingered upon Joy for a fraction of a second longer before he looked back at the first Chosen in line.

 _Alright,_ Joy thought quickly. One by one they were to spar with Jacob, and luckily she was last. Maybe while everyone was too busy watching the fight she could slip away.

_God dammit, Grace was right! This was one hell of a bad idea...terrible idea…_

But then Jacob took his shirt off, tossing it aside, leaving only the dog tags, whistle, and rabbits foot to lay upon his bare chiseled chest... 

...And Joy silently praised her stubbornness as she stared wide eyed at the tall muscular man. Luckily her mouth was hidden, because it was just hanging wide open, nearly breathing in the fabric of the ski mask. Speaking of fabric, Joy felt stifled and very warm under so many layers of Chosen garments and the effect her view was having upon her.

Honey brown eyes avidly studied Jacob’s fit form...for reconnaissance purposes of course. Joy noticed how the glossy scars upon his face and neck, swept down to his chest, abdomen, and possibly further.

Jacob’s jaw was set as he merely nodded towards the first Chosen in line. The man returned the nod and marched up to meet his leader upon the floor mat. Jacob still stood at least a head taller than the Chosen as they slide into a fighting stance.

Then, without warning, the two men lunged at each other in an all out grapple. This wasn’t an intricate dance, but a testosterone fueled test of brute strength...and Joy was transfixed as she watched well toned muscles ripple under taut scarred skin. 

At first it seemed like they were almost neck and neck in strength as the two grunted and growled at each other, trying to find various ways to unbalance the other. But Jacob had something the other man didn’t, experience. It was only a matter of time before the leader tested several maneuvers against his partner, until Jacob out maneuvered him. He picked up the Chosen as if he weighed nothing, before sending the man crashing back down on the mat. 

“Leader I yield!” The Chosen gasped as he crumpled onto the mat.

 _I would yield too…_ Joy nearly let slip aloud as she watched Jacob straighten then pull the Chosen up to his feet with fluid ease. 

“Not weak, but not strong enough,” Jacob concluded in his deep rumbling voice. “Keep yourself balanced, and know where your feet are at any given time,” he instructed wisely before giving the Chosen a dismissing wave.

Jacob then rolled his muscular shoulders causing the young woman to involuntarily clear her dry throat. There was something about the man’s strength, broad shouldered muscular physique, and tantalizing rugged look that just called to her; a dominant male on top of his game, and with no equal. 

_Damn…Joy get a grip on yourself, you came to do recon, not gawk at your maybe ex-boyfriend!_ Joy chided herself as she bit her lip and looked away...anywhere else than on Jacob’s shirtless form.

“You, pup,” Jacob barked, directly at her.

_Oh, fuck…_

Taking in a deep breath, Joy strode towards the mat with her head held high, but averted her eyes as much as possible.

Behind her, she could hear a Chosen whisper questioningly, “Wait, we have women Chosen?” 

“Of course we do, if they're strong. The Chosen are a gender inclusive group,” replied another Chosen sagely.

Keeping her gaze off to the side, Joy stopped a couple of feet from Jacob’s towering form. By the way his eyes were scrutinizing her, Joy was sure he thought this Chosen a defect already.

“Keep your eyes on your enemy,” Jacob commanded gruffly.

And so she did…

The man instantly tensed up. Joy could see it by how his muscles grew taut and blue eyes widened.

_He knew..._

Jacob stood stock still and for a second Joy was worried he would reveal her identity in a room of Chosen. Deciding on a whim, the woman raised her fists protectively in front of her, and it seemed to shake Jacob out of his stupor.

He nodded and mirrored her movements...just before he lunged.

_Shit!_

Like a charging grizzly bear, he gave Joy very little reaction time, but she managed to throw herself to the left, skidding a little before she found her center of gravity. Keeping her feet moving, they encircled each other. 

It then dawned on her that Jacob was testing her. In fact she could swear that there was a new spark in those blue eyes she had not seen before.

Well, if Jacob wanted to see what lil’Joy got, then she would show him.

Their spar ultimately came down to where Jacob dominated with power and reach, but Joy countered with speed, flexibility, and an incredible knack for slithering out of his grasps. Soon the young woman switched from a passive mode to an active stance as she began employing jujutsu techniques that would allow her to manipulate the man’s momentum against himself. Or at least she hoped so.

However, Jacob was built like a brick wall. The young woman’s usual moves wouldn’t do, and her signature leg sweep would be a joke.

An idea then struck her, and Joy made a lunge that seemed grossly miscalculated.

Jacob’s eyes narrowed as he ducked out of the woman’s wild charge. He was probably a little confused by Joy’s sudden and complete lapse in judgement as she had launched herself at where he had been standing momentarily ago! 

Meanwhile, once behind Jacob, Joy quickly dropped down to a squat, and just in time too as the man wheeled around with a spinning kick. Jacob’s leg whoosed over the woman’s head. _‘Whooo, that was close!’_ Joy grimaced before remembering her goal.

Now it was Joy’s turn, for as Jacob continued his momentum...the woman lunged like a cougar. 

Joy’s unexpected attack and weight caused Jacob to tumble to the ground. The two rolled about as their bodies pressed against each other, completely lost to everything else that was not their mingling form.

But Joy was not a match for Jacob’s solid weight and muscular build as the man rolled on top of her and pinned Joy securely down. Her wrists were held up above her head by Jacob’s large rough hands as his formidable presence loomed over her. Joy tried to wriggle out of his grasp, but it was no use.

“Yield!” Jacob snarled, his blood hot and rushing through him as he found himself exerting more energy than he estimated to keep Joy down.

“I yield to no one!” Joy snapped back, and with a thrust of her hips she tried to push Jacob off with one last ditch effort. 

But as she bucked her hips into Jacob's, Joy heard him let out a growl that was deep and carnal. And he looked down at her through half-lidded eyes, black pupils engulfing blue.

 _Ohhhh…_ Joy sharply inhaled as she became very aware of how her lower body had pressed up against Jacob’s pelvis and felt a large bulge greet her. _Lord have mercy!_ Joy gulped as the scent of sweat, earthen forest, and spice began to engulf her.

A small cough broke the silence that had stifled the room. Joy’s face burned as she realized the handful Chosen were obviously averting their gaze to anywhere else other than them. Suddenly Joy wished for the training mat to just swallow her up like quick sand and suffocate her in order to staunch the growing fire of embarrassment burning her alive.

“Strong and unyielding,” Jacob murmured in his deep voice as he rose to his feet. Then extended a hand down to her.

Remaining silent, Joy took his large warm hand, and allowed herself to be easily pulled up to her feet.

“Everyone, back to your duties,” Jacob commanded, though he kept Joy’s hand cradled within his.

She shivered at the contact and became acutely aware of how perfect her hand fit within his.

Once everyone had left, Jacob released her hand, though Joy still felt his warm imprint upon her skin as he went to close the door and lock it.

Joy’s heart skipped a beat as Jacob turned around, molten blue eyes settled on her and only her...

Jacob’s heavy footsteps echoed in the training room as he walked back towards her, until he stood just in front of her that the toes of their boots almost touched. Joy dared to crane her neck to look up at his face and relish how Jacob’s soulful blue eyes had softened upon looking back at her.

Slowly and carefully he reached out to gently lift the hem of the ski mask. Closing her eyes, Joy felt Jacob’s rough fingers brush tenderly over the skin of her neck, then trace her jaw line, ghost the bottom of her lip -avoiding the wound, before he caressed the skin around her eyes. His soft touch left delicious goosebumps to prickle upon her skin as a shiver ran down her spine.

No longer wearing the ski mask, Joy slowly opened her honey brown eyes to gaze back up at the man.

“You came here, you came to me,” Jacob breathed as he gazed down at her, as if he couldn’t believe she was real.

Joy lowered her gaze to take in the scars upon his body. Slowly she lifted her hand, holding it hesitantly just above his skin as she looked back up at him for approval.

Jacob must have read her intention for he gave her a small nod, before asking in his deep gravelly voice, “You still don’t remember?”

Joy let her gaze fall onto his chest before she carefully and gently traced her finger along one of his scars. She heard him sharply inhale as his body stiffened, then relaxed at her touch. _Was it from a fire?_ She wondered with a slight frown before she looked back up and replied, “No, I…”

But Jacob ensnared her upper lip within his, interrupting her with a hungry kiss. His lips were soft, warm, though slightly chapped. The bristles of his auburn beard and moustache ghosted her skin. And as Jacob released her lips, he gave her wound a lick with his hot tongue, sending a shiver to run down to Joy's core.

“Doesn’t matter, you’re here,” Jacob whispered huskily, his hot breath warming Joy’s cheek. A large hand rested against her lower back, while his other hand wove itself into the hair on the back of her head. Jacob pulled her flush to him so that she leaned into him, splaying her hand upon his chest. Then he kissed her more fiercely, and released a wonton groan into her mouth as Joy finally reciprocated, deepening their kiss as she rose to her tiptoes to meet him. 

Finally they broke apart, each panting for air as their chests heaved in tandem. 

“You’re home,” Jacob whispered breathlessly as he pressed his forehead against hers. Joy closed her eyes, relishing Jacob’s warmth and marveling at how his strong muscular arms engulfed her in a protective embrace.

Upon opening her eyes, Joy noticed the rabbits foot. Gently she trailed her finger about its worn brown fur. “I remember this,” Joy remarked softly. Noting upon closer inspection how aged it looked.

“It’s been my lucky charm all these years,” Jacob sighed, and there was a note of weariness in his deep voice.

Joy leaned back just a little bit to gaze up at Jacob, really look at him. She could see that his auburn hair had little flecks of silver, the dark bags under his brightened yet tired soulful blue eyes. How long has he gone without proper rest? Her heart ached as she felt overwhelmed with the need to care for him. For the man who had once smiled so brightly and happily. Carefully, Joy lifted up her own hand to gently rest her bare palm against his cheek.

“We don’t have to fight each other,” Joy whispered softly as she peered up at Jacob; letting her own thumb glide upon his warm skin; amazed by the mix of softness and roughness. She watched as the man’s eyes fluttered closed as he slipped into the vulnerable moment of feeling her hand upon his skin. _How long had it been since he was touched like this?_

Jacob sighed as he leaned into her touch. “You’re joining us?” He whispered, his eyes still closed as he nuzzled her palm; beard caressing her skin.

Joy was at a loss for words for her heart swelled at the sight of Jacob’s tenderness and defenselessness. So close, gods, she was so close to saying _Yes_...to him and only him. But Joy couldn’t lie, she just needed to figure out a way for Eden’s Gate to end peacefully.

Gulping against the tightened ache in her throat, Joy replied softly, “No, but...” 

Her words were interrupted by a loud knock on the door as a Peggie tried to open it but found it locked.

Jacob growled angrily as his eyes opened and narrowed into a frown. His embrace slipped away from her, though languidly, as if he didn’t want to let her go.

“Boss, the candidates are ready,” informed the Peggie on the other side of the steel door.

Quickly, Jacob opened the door, poking only his head out, as he grunted, “I’m coming.” He must have given the Peggie a laser-eye glare for Joy could hear the man quickly scurry away back down the hall.

Jacob then turned back towards her, just as Joy grabbed the crimson ski mask up from the mat and slipped it back on.

“I’ll be back soon,” Jacob remarked as he leaned against the steel door. Joy nodded and watched him lumbar out of the room, heavy boots echoing down the hallway.

Joy's lips still tingled from his hungry kiss and wondered with bated breath as to what Jacob would do when returned. But then music reached her ears.

_'Only youuuuu…'_

Joy let the warbling song fill her mind as it reverberated through her skull, finally shaking loose the memory it was tied to. The woman recalled how the leaves upon the trees were turning golden yellow, rustic brown, and crimson red. Fall was settling in Hope County, and that meant that the Annual Harvest Festival was upon the residents, and along with it...the Harvest Dance.

It was all anyone was now talking about in the locker hallway of Cougar High, and Jacob seemed to be quite the popular subject. _“He’s so strong, bet he could lift me!” “Wonder if he’s a good kisser?” “Oh the strong silent type!”_ Chirped giggling voices amongst the racket of clanging metal lockers.

“So Joy, what kind of girl does Jacob like?” Suddenly asked a senior girl whom Joy had never talked to before. Her name was Debbie...no Deb…maybe Debra? 

“Wha-?” Joy questioned distractedly as she opened her locker.

“Well he works at your ranch. Surely you would know,” the senior smiled as a gaggle of girls hung behind her, listening with interest.

“My father’s ranch,” Joy corrected, “and I don’t know. We, we don’t talk about that stuff,” she added with a shrug.

“Lame, we wanted to know which one of us has the best shot at him. Guess we’ll all ask.” The senior sighed dramatically before turning away and walking off with her flock of giggling teens.

Joy felt inexplicably grumpy and confused as she shoved her textbooks into her backpack with more force than was needed. She liked Jacob and really enjoyed his company. Over the months they had become good friends, and they spent more time together after hanging out at the summer carnival. Now they hunted together, rode horseback through the wilds, that one time she twisted her ankle while hiking and he carried her all the way back... _oh damn_...she had a crush on Jacob Seed!

It hit her like a steamrolling train as Joy leaned against her locker feeling utterly flabbergasted. How was she this dense?! Chewing her bottom lip in deep thought, Joy felt herself bubbling with determination to ask Jacob to the Harvest Dance.

“The Harvest Festival?” Jacob repeated Joy’s question about knowing what it was when she arrived at the barn. “Is that the same thing as the Testy Festy?” He asked as he loosely wove a long lasso around his arm.

“Oh god no!” Joy exclaimed in sheer horror as she dropped her backpack off at a nearby table. “There will not be _‘cowboy caviar’_ at this festival!” She added seriously, before noticing that Jacob was chuckling. He was teasing her! “I thought you were serious!” Joy groaned as she scrunched her face back at him in retribution.

“That face you made,” Jacob snorted as he tried to recreate Joy’s look of terror at the thought of blue bull testicles.

“So...who are you going to dance with at the Harvest Festival?” Joy ventured casually. 

“No one...yet,” Jacob tactfully replied as he looked down at his winding lasso, a small smile spreading across his lips.

“No one has asked you?” Joy asked in surprise for that couldn’t be true based on the talk from the girls at school. 

“I've been asked, but I said no,” Jacob replied, sneaking a peek back towards Joy, before bowing his head again so that his cowboy hat hid his face.

“Oh,” Joy said as she fiddled with her papers. She should ask him now. _Wait!_ What about their friendship? They had become such good friends, what if he said no to her too and it just made things awkward between them. The fun horse rides, competitive fishing, warm bonfires with fireflies...all would be lost! No...Joy couldn’t risk it. 

“I...I’m sure someone special will ask you,” Joy remarked, her tone lame and dejected. _Stupid stupid stupid..._

She then took the cowards way out, running out of the barn under the guise of searching for Luca. And as she did, Joy missed the confused expression upon Jacob’s crestfallen face.

That night, Falls End was decorated to the rooftops with harvest goodies and stringed lights. Laughter, a lively band, and the smell of pumpkin pie filled the air.

The night was cooler now and Joy decided to wear a burgundy long sleeved knit dress with evergreen stockings, and grey suede ankle high boots. Her hair was in a half ponytail, keeping her neck warm.

Somewhere about were Joe and Johnny. Joy was sure they would be taking a go at bobbing for apples with Grace and Jerome. Quickly she turned the corner behind the barn as a shortcut over to where the games were usually held, when a gaggle of shrill squawking girls caught her eye.

There was a crowd of clamoring girls and Jacob was stuck in the middle. He wore a black leather jacket over a crisp white shirt with the rabbits foot and whistle necklace. It was paired with dark denim jeans, and black boots. Jacob's longer auburn hair was now pulled into a small bun upon his head.

“So who are you going to dance with?” “Jacob, dance with me!” "Do you have a girlfriend?!"

Joy's heart panged at the sight of his expression for Jacob looked like he was in distress. His blue eyes were searching wildly for an escape and Joy was sure that in a moment he would be forced to just leap over them all.

Posture straightening, Joy steeled herself. Her friend was in need of a rescue and she was willing to be the sacrificial lamb.

“Oh my god, they are starting the Miss Harvest Pageant already at the chapel?!” Joy gasped her lie as loudly and dramatically as possible. And it worked like a charm for it sent the crowd instantly dashing towards the church.

“Ha, saved ya!” Joy grinned as she crossed her arms smugly. Before she realized that it left the two of them standing awkwardly alone behind the dance barn.

Jacob didn't say anything as he just stared at her, his expression unreadable. Maybe she had misread the situation entirely and ended up ruining his chances with one of the girls in that group!

 _Crap_...

“Um, yeah," Joy remarked awkwardly. "I’m going to go check on Joe and Johnny,” she added with a nod towards the game stalls behind Jacob before she began to walk off.

“Joy, wait!” Jacob remarked as he quickly grabbed her hand as she passed by him.

Joy paused, wordlessly looking from their clasped hands, then up at Jacob, with her mouth slightly agape. He was blushing, seriously blushing to the roots of his auburn hair!

“I didn’t get to thank you for your timely rescue, so…" Jacob stammered as his hand started to feel clammy against hers.

Quickly he let go to wipe it against his jeans. Meanwhile, the band inside of the festively lit barn, picked up again as a deep velvety voice took the mic. _“Oooonly youuuu,”_ the artist began to sing in a deep rich voice.

Jacob reached out his other hand towards Joy and with a lopsided smile he asked, “Miss Owens, care to dance?”

_"Can make all this world seem right…"_

Fully blushing now too, Joy replied, "I'd love to Jacob Seed." And she slid her hand onto his open palm.

_"Oooonly youuuu...can make...the darkness bright…"_

In return, Jacob tucked his fingers around hers, a perfect fit.

_"Only you and you alone...caaaan thrill me like you doooo…"_

Gently pulling Joy closer, Jacob laid his other hand upon the small of her back.

_"And filllll myyyy heart with love...for only youuuu..."_

In response, Joy wrapped her arm upon his upper back. And Jacob smiled brightly down at her as he swayed them back and forth. Joy smiled with delight for her heart felt elated as they danced.

_"Oh ohhh...Oooonly youuu...can make all this change in meeee…"_

Suddenly, Jacob lifted up their joined hands, twirling Joy about as she giggled, before halting by bringing his other hand against her back again. 

_"Fooor it's trueee...you are my destinyyy…"_

Effortlessly, Jacob supported her back as he gracefully dipped Joy down low while he leaned over her with ease. 

_"When you hoooold my hand…I uuunderstand the magic that you doooo…"_

Joy's eyes widened in surprise at Jacob's smooth maneuver. He slowly brought her back up, keeping her ever so close to his body as her chest heaved. 

_"Youuu're my dream come trueee…my one and only youuuu…"_

"Hey Joy?" Jacob began softly over the top of her head.

“Hmmm,” Joy hummed as she looked up at him.

“I only want to dance with you, no one else, only you…” Jacob’s molten blue eyes gazed down at her, causing Joy’s breath to hitch in her throat.

“Me too, Jacob, only you,” Joy stated truly as they came to a halt.

Jacob smiled and leaned down to give her a kiss just as Joy rose to her tippy toes to meet him halfway. Her first kiss, slow and gentle. Joy took in the smoothness of his soft full lips. And as they broke off, her hands reached around Jacob to hold him in a tight hug as she rested her head upon his chest, just over the whistle and rabbits foot. 

In turn, Jacob rested his chin upon her head as he nuzzled her soft hair. _Only you_...It was their song, the melody they danced to, her first kiss...

Now it played again in Jacob’s Armory, and as if entranced...Joy followed the tune out of the training suite.

There, the song was coming from a smaller room down the hallway. Quietly and gently, Joy opened the door, peeking her head into a room flooded with a red glowing light, only broken by a projector beaming towards the other wall. Joy’s curious gaze followed the light to a projector screen hanging upon the far wall with three individuals sitting in chairs before it. 

The projector flipped through images of wolves graphically eating away at carcasses of dead elk and deer.

A recording of Jacob’s deep voice could be heard just barely over the music, as he whispered the words: _cull the herd...sacrifice the weak...you are meat…_ over and over, as if he was reciting a spell.

 _What was going on here?_ Joy frowned as she slipped into the room. Walking up to the people sitting... _no_...strapped into the chairs.

“Pratt!” Joy gasped as she recognized the man in the middle chair. Quickly she leaned in front of him taking in his bruised and battered face. “Staci!” Joy repeated urgently.

But the man’s glossy eyes seemed to look right through her, without blinking, he repeated, “Cull the herd...sacrifice the weak...you are meat…”

Dutch’s raspy voice echoed in Joy’s mind, ‘Rumor is that he’s got this psychological experiment going on in the Whitetail Mountains.’ 

_No, no, no!_ Joy thought frantically as she searched the straps that bound Pratt tightly to the chair. There were locks, and a frenzied search of the room yielded no key in sight.

 _Fucking fuck!_ Joy cursed with a churning rage as she clenched her teeth, nearly causing her jaw to spasm. If she was Jacob, where would she keep the key? _His office..._

Purposefully, Joy strode out of the room and through the hallways until she found the room she had been looking for. A medium sized suite that reminded Joy of Dutch’s red glowing surveillance command center, only that Jacob’s office was far more organized and included a crimson sniper rifle affixed to the wall just above a worn brown leather couch.

Slipping off the ski mask, Joy began her search, but Jacob either hid it very well or didn’t keep it in his office. Growling to herself, Joy was about to leave when her gaze fell onto Jacob’s desk. A large map of Hope County was laid flat with notes and points of interest circled. Then Joy began to realize something, Jacob had been tracking her progress, noting sightings of her in his region with little stars.

Then two more things caught Joy’s interest, on the map, at the heart of the Henbane River region was scrawled the words, _‘Owens Ranch’_ . Beside it was a small piece of paper that bore a dainty handwritten note that read, _‘Brother - the concentrate is almost finished and will be ready to pour into the water system. I highly suggest you collect pure water now. Though knowing you, you’ve already have a system in place. Be blessed, your sister, Faith.’_

Joy braced herself upon the desk as the sheer magnitude of the Faith’s plan washed over her. _Shit..._ She had to go warn the resistance!

* * *

Jacob returned to the training room, only to find it empty. He felt a twinge of disappointment, but wasn’t surprised. However, since no alarm had gone off, Jacob was sure that Joy was still wandering around undetected. In her own way, she was the wolf in sheep's clothing amongst his followers. His Joy, who was once an innocent bubbly teenager, had grown fierce, cunning, and more beautiful. 

Jacob felt something blossom inside him; at first it was a shock when those honey brown eyes stared back at him from the crimson ski mask. That Joy had managed to not only sneak into his bunker, but was facing him in a challenge. Then she sparred against him and Jacob felt her strength and unyielding spirit. He felt a mix of pride and desire swell within him. And when they kissed...Jacob hadn’t felt this alive in a long time...

He slipped back on his black shirt, pulling out his necklaces so that they rested upon his chest for all to see. _Where would Joy have gone if she was behind enemy lines?_ Out of habit, his fingers touched the rabbits foot, and Jacob knew exactly where she was...

The door to his office was left slightly ajar, pushing it open he found Joy leaning over his desk. But as she looked up, Jacob realized that her eyes, usually bright and innocent, were narrowed and furious.

“Our song,” she hissed in a tone he had never heard her use.

“You remember?” Jacob asked as he came to a halt. He should feel elated at this news, but the woman before him thrummed with rage.

“Oh, I remember,” Joy growled through gritted teeth and Jacob watched as her hand clenched into tight fists on the desk “It’s our song! And you're using it to...condition those people to kill!?” She spat angrily before remembering to keep her voice down.

“I can’t believe this, I just...why?” Joy added as her wounded lip trembled. Jacob could see the lightning flashes of anger and hurt within her eyes.

Jacob opened his mouth...but where could he even begin? That he had become privy to the psychological method during his time in the military. That he was trying to ensure that those who survived the Collapse were strong enough. That he failed to protect his brothers and was making sure that it would never happen again...that he woke up in the hospital and found her gone...

“You left me Joy,” Jacob whispered into the silent office. _What else could he say to her?_

Jacob watched as Joy stiffened at his words while her eyes went wide. All hints of the brewing thunderstorm within those honey brown eyes were washed away by a flood of grief.

“Fuck,” she whispered weakly. Then Joy grabbed the crimson ski mask and suddenly took off as she briskly walked around the desk and was about to pass him when Jacob’s brain registered that she was fleeing. Every fiber in his body urged him to stop her. _Don’t let her leave...you’ll never see her again!_

Heart beating madly, Jacob caught her hand just as she passed him. “I don’t want to lose you again,” Jacob pleaded thickly as he looked down at Joy...

...And felt an electrifying shock course through him as he saw tears welling within those honey brown eyes.

“You’ve already lost me Jacob,” Joy whispered, her voice cracking as she spoke his name.

Stunned, his grip slackened, allowing Joy to slip away as she donned back on the crimson ski mask and strode out of the office.

Jacob just stood there in the silent office as he replayed the situation over in his mind. Then a voice that had warned him long ago echoed in his mind, _You’ll raise an army upon the song that felt most powerful to you...and in the end will be your undoing..._

A flicker of movement caught his eyes, beckoning him to glance over to the surveillance monitor watching the perimeter outside his bunker. There, a lone Chosen was slipping away into the nearby forest...Just as four Whitetails ambushed her.

“Eli…” Jacob growled as his molten blue eyed gaze dangerously narrowed at the screen.

Snatching up his crimson sniper rifle, Jacob stomped out of the office. Rage coursing through his body with such a force that he had never known before. The silver whistle was held between his fingers.

_It was time to summon his pack and go hunting..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo-wee! Soooo that all went down! What do you think? It took me a good while to figure this chapter out. I would love to hear your thoughts, feedback, yays/nays? 
> 
> Thank you for your continued support! <3


	9. I’m not losing you again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I’ve gone back through this story and updated a few of the chapters; mainly tweaked the memories to reflect the evolving plot! :D

“Look, I’m not a Peggie!” Joy continued to angrily protest from under her Chosen ski mask as she was forced to march between the group of Whitetail hunters. The deputy’s wrists strained painfully against the zip ties that bound her hands together in front of her.

Joy had been careless as she escaped the bunker. Her brain had been so hung up on Jacob that she wasn’t aware of her surroundings; wasn’t privy to the four camouflaged men sneaking up on her...until it was too late.

“Shut up!” Snarled the bearded man just in front of her. Dressed in the Whitetail logo embossed hunting camouflage, the man was tall, burly, and gruff. His dark green eyes held no warmth, but cold fury. It was understandable for when he looked at Joy, all he saw was a Chosen; an agent of Eden’s Gate who killed innocents...maybe even a friend or family member of his.

It seemed that the deputy's luck in meeting people from her past had finally run out. No one in the group could recall a Joy Owens or the Owens Family.

“Please, just contact Dutch, Jerome, Mary May...or...” **Smack**! The man had whipped around, pulling back his arm before it connected with the left side of Joy’s face. The deputy staggered back as agonizing pain blossomed upon her face and the cut on her lip tore open. Joy's hot breath now entwined with blood against the knitted ski mask. 

“I said shut up!” He roared venomously.

“She might be telling the truth,” remarked the leader as they continued to trek through the mountainous forest.

“But, I’ve never seen a female Chosen,” added the last man in the trailing line.

“If they're strong, they can be. The Chosen are a gender inclusive group,” Joy grumbled as she licked the copper tinged blood from her lips.

“See! How could she have known that if she weren’t a Peggie!” The man, who had hit her earlier, angrily spat. “For Christ sake she’s wearing the whole Chosen outfit!”

“It's called recon asshole!” Joy hissed as the knitted mask stuck to her mouth. Ugh, she should stay quiet just for her wound's sake but the deputy was all worked up and too stubborn to back down.

The man turned about, pulling back his arm again and Joy braced herself for another blow. But the leader of the party quickly caught the man’s wrist. “Look, Eli will know what to do and Tammy will get the truth out of her,” he stated while the angry man tore his arm from the leader’s grip and growled something darkly under his breath about a bucket of water...and electricity?

Finally they came to a large rushing river that fed a sheer waterfall. Joy stared at the seemingly innocent flowing water; after nearly drowning twice, she was starting to form an aversion to rivers. The deputy hesitated long enough to frustrate the man behind her.

“Come on, hurry up,” The Whitetail shoved the butt of his rifle hard into Joy’s back, making her stumble forward into the rising cold water.

Then she heard it; a whistle, or at least...Joy thought she did. It was so faint and high pitched, yet the sound urgently tugged at her mind.

Joy warily remarked, “Guys, I think th…” **SMACK!** This time the gruff hunter made a closed fist as he whipped around and rammed it forcefully into the deputy's gut.

The woman doubled over wheezing as tears filled her eyes. But as Joy gasped for breath, the Whitetail that had punched her suddenly fell back into the river with a heavy splash...a bullet hole in between his eyes…

* * *

 _‘You’ve already lost me Jacob,’_ Joy's voice repeated that sentence over and over in the veteran’s mind; haunting his steps as he stealthily trekked through the forest.

Huffing through his nose in frustration, Jacob tried to focus his mind on one singular task, hunting. It was his specialty, the keen predator tracking down prey. Yet it was barely a challenge as the tracks of the Whitetails were obvious.

_Amatuers. Weak._

Finally Jacob found the Whitetails and Joy down at the riverbend. So...that’s why he had not been having success in tracking the previous Whitetails. Their scent was always washed away by the water. No matter, the veteran had them in his sights now.

Jacob’s plan was to stalk the group, finally discover the location of the Wolf’s Den, and flush Eli Palmer out. With Eli gone, the Whitetails would crumble and no longer be a thorn in the project's side.

The opportunity presented itself all because of Joy. Groaning at his own slip up, Jacob gripped his hold upon the sniper rifle and tried to push her out of his mind, again. _Focus on the mission Seed!_ Jacob growled inwardly as he fell onto his belly once in position. He was a soldier and had his duty. The veteran lifted up the silver whistle to his lips and blew into once to signal to his two Judges to stealthily get into position.

But then Joy must have said something, Jacob couldn’t hear what from this distance, but the man in front of her suddenly swung wildly about and punched her in the stomach, making her double over in obvious agony.

Anger coursed through Jacob as he gritted his teeth...and pulled the trigger. The man who harmed Joy he fell over, and Jacob could see crimson blood seep into the pristine river.

“What the fuck!” He heard one of the Whitetails shout out in alarm.

Jacob watched through his scope as Joy looked in his direction. Had she spotted the glimmer of sunlight reflected upon his lens? Jacob needed to move. The veteran quickly retreated from the underbush, but his quarry was now wading further into the river, dragging Joy helplessly along with them.

Zigzagging from trunk to trunk, Jacob picked up his whistle and gave it another blow. 

His Judges, who were hidden along the riverbank’s bushes, leapt into action. As the wolves attacked, the three remaining Whitetails began shooting indiscriminately. Jacob watched as Joy fell into the river. Had she been shot?! He knew her hands had been bound.

His pumping heart jolted within his chest and Jacob leapt out of his hidden spot.

“Shit! It’s Jacob-fucking-Seed! There!” One of the Whitetails shouted, before he was silenced by a well aimed bullet.

The Judges made quick work of the remaining scouts. Meanwhile, trying to keep himself calm, Jacob’s blue eyes scanned the river. _There!_ A crimson ski mask was bobbing up and down as the river became more rapid and rock laden. Fear seized his heart, the same horror he had felt when he rushed to the Owens’s ranch, and found the barn engulfed in flames...

“Joy!” Jacob’s deep voice boomed as he raced along the riverbank, his Judges striding behind him.

There, if he could reach those rocks, he would be able to get close enough to grab Joy and pull her to safety.

“Jacob!” Joy sputtered and shouted, as she spotted him…as well as the large waterfall that emptied into the great Henbane river.

The veteran’s heavy boots nearly lost their footing in his haste to scramble from boulder to boulder. “Joy!” Jacob shouted as he reached out his hand as she was about to pass him by.

Kicking her legs wildly against the current, Joy’s bound hands reached out, fingertips straying close to his...but not close enough.

_No...I’m not losing you again!_

And with that thought solid in his mind, Jacob leapt in, swimming along the current to reach Joy. He quickly wrapped himself around her, tucking her head against his chest...before they both were swept over the edge.

* * *

Warm moist lips pressed against his. “Joy,” Jacob murmured groggily as his eyes remained closed.

But then there was tongue, alot of tongue...and licking?

That definitely wasn’t Joy! Blue eyes flung open to focus upon the blurry image of a long white furred muzzle. It was one of his Judges, who was licking his mouth.

Upon seeing its master stir awake, the wolf released a low whine and sat down at his side.

Jacob groaned, laying supine upon the bumpy ground. His body felt tired, battered, and soaked; as if he had just...suddenly the events from earlier came rushing back to the veteran’s muddled mind, causing him to quickly push himself up into a sitting position. He was perched upon a long stretch of pebbled riverbank and Joy was nowhere in sight.

The man’s head began to ache as he peered around himself. Then he realized that something soggy was clutched in his fist. Peering down, Jacob found the knitted crimson ski mask gripped in his hand.

Where had Joy gone? Was she alright?

Slowly rising to his feet, Jacob again surveyed the peaceful scene...and felt at a loss. Silently he just stood there when his eyes fell back down upon the ski mask in his hand. An idea forming in his mind. It was a long shot, but there were still a few stubborn stains of blood clinging to the fabric. Quickly, Jacob turned to his Judge and held it out for the canine to sniff.

“Track,” Jacob gruffly commanded to the wolf.

Obediently the Judge sniffed the mask with interest before it paused. Turning its great head away from its master, the wolf began to sniff along the riverbank, heading southeast and deeper into Faith’s territory...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this story is still exciting and interesting. If so please leave a comment below. No matter how small, or cliche you think it is, hearing from you makes my day and I love interacting with my readers! :3
> 
> I’ll be taking a break from writing in order to focus on taking my board examination next Saturday -gulps-
> 
> Thank you for reading <3


	10. Ash and Bliss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I anxiously await the result of my exam, please enjoy this new chapter. And while I said chapter 8 was an emotional roller coaster, well that was the kiddie ride! I’ve done an upgrade on this one, so buckle yourself in and keep a hold onto the handle bars! Yee-ha!

Joseph had taken shelter in the small sunlit church of his compound. The warm sun rays beamed through the glass window, caressing his naked back as Joseph gently held the ivory bible in his right hand, while his left fingers ideally skimmed along the smooth black beads of the rosary. Joseph’s body felt tired and heavy, but his mind ever thrummed with energy. Unencumbered by the residual sharp pulsing pain the Voice would cause, Joseph was able to meditate clearly.

The Project was currently dragging its feet. John had locked himself away in his bunker, meanwhile Jacob stalked off somewhere in the wilds. At least Faith was on schedule with her Bliss concentrate. 

Ochre tinted blue eyes were softly closed as Joseph sighed heavily through his nose. The Voice had warned him that upheaval would come shortly after Joy’s arrival. _God giveth and God taketh_...just as she was taken from him, so had the Lord returned Joy back into his life, to fulfill her purpose. And in the stillness, Joseph recalled his most recent prophecy.

_Who once saved you shall be spared, but first her sin must be declared_

_The lamb must be freed of grudge, only then can she be reborn as your judge_

_But beware her bloody path, filled with darkness is her wrath_

When the Voice spoke, a painful vision had engulfed Joseph and he found himself standing within a warm sunny garden that could only be described as Eden itself. A lone figure stood before him, wearing a hooded cloak of obsidian raven feathers, their face hidden behind an ivory mask. A dark contrast against the garden of light.

Joseph found himself holding out a single stemmed flower with five small bright blue blooms with golden centers, _Forget-me-not._ He was holding it out as if to give it to the person before him. Heart racing within his chest, Joseph looked back up to see the lone figure lift a leather gloved hand to remove the mask.

Then the pounding pain in his head was too much to bear. The vision began to fade, but not before Joseph glimpsed...bright honey brown eyes.

Joseph remembered waking up, peering up at the faces of Jacob, John, and Faith. They were hovering over him with looks of worry. _‘It was as if you had a seizure’_ , Jacob remarked as he helped Joseph to a wooden pew. Luckily that Sunday’s sermon had ended and the flock had already left to tend to their duties, leaving only the Seed family to witness Joseph’s moment.

“I had a vision, and the Voice spoke to me,” Joseph revealed before he winced at throbbing pain in his head. “Joy will return to us,” he proclaimed. Joseph knew with absolute certainty as to who the cloaked figure was. 

There was only one person he ever gave such a flower to. A person who had disappeared from his life, but never forgotten. Bright honey brown eyes... _Joy_ . He would find a way to bring her back to Hope County. However, based on the quiet look his brothers exchanged, they were less certain it would happen. Both Jacob and John had tried and failed to locate Joy. Yet Joseph had an ace up his sleeve this time... _Sheriff Earl Whitehorse_.

Joseph opened his eyes to peer about the empty church. Not even a full three days since Joy crossed its threshold. She had been so close, yet her eyes were far away. No hint of recognition...the Voice had not made him privy to that detail. Yet, it would have been foolish of Joseph to not expect challenges. God does not give freely, but tests the strength of his followers, and the Voice had been gracious to warn him somewhat of this. 

Joy’s trail across Hope County was stained with blood. Had she shown remorse? Did she feel guilt at striking down his flock? Had his lamb become so unforgiving...would she go as far as break the rest of the seals? Joseph closed his tired eyes again and found himself far from the church, in a time that seemed so long ago...

He was walking through the hushed hallway of Cougar High School; his light brown hair freshly washed, parted in the middle, and now nearly reached his shoulders. Joseph wanted to make a nice first impression on the first day at his new school. 

A black t-shirt was covered by a warm red plaid long sleeved button up and tucked into dark blue denim jeans. His second hand clothing from Jacob was always a tad too baggy for him; but, it was something Joseph learned to accept. Tugging the strap of his worn backpack higher upon his shoulder, Joseph swallowed any sign of nervousness and entered the classroom.

A middle aged blonde woman with a kind face greeted him and beckoned Joseph further into the classroom. “Now class, before we begin, we have a new student joining us.”

A few faces looked towards him with interest, while others seemed to have already drifted off into their respective daydreams. “Everyone, please give a warm greeting to Joseph Seed. His family just moved here from Rome, Georgia.” The classroom chimed with halfhearted _hellos, heys, and ‘sups_. “Go ahead and take that empty seat over there,” prompted the teacher.

With a nod, and hiking back up the slipping strap on his shoulder, Joseph neared the empty desk. It was the corner seat at the back left side of the classroom, a perfect location for him. Joseph then noted how a girl, sitting in the desk that would be to the right of him, smiled brightly. 

She seemed nice at first glance, with brown fluffy hair that fell lazily onto her shoulders. She wore light blue denim overalls over a peach pink tie-dye turtleneck. There must have been a sizable scratch on her left cheek for a large tan bandaid was stuck there. Its slowly peeling off corner had caught a few strands of her brown hair.

“I’m Joy Owens,” the girl greeted amicably once Joseph was close enough. “Looks like you’re stuck with me,” she added with a wide grin, before wincing slightly as if it hurt the bandaged wound.

“Hello Joy,” Joseph greeted back. “Is that a bad thing?” He questioned evenly as he set his worn backpack down and took a seat.

Joy gave a noncommittal shrug before replaying, “As long as you’re not a bully, I won’t bite.” She went to tuck her hair back behind her ear, but winced again as the strands tugged on the bandaid. Muttering darkly under her breath, she carefully untangled the mess as Joseph watched her with a mix of amusement and curiosity. Then his gaze then fell to the comic book open upon her desk.

Joy must have noticed because she eagerly asked, “Do you like Spiderman? Grace and Jerome have their own favorite superheroes. But Spiderman is my favorite.”

Joseph returned her eagerness with a small smile as he softly remarked, “I’ve never read them before.” The brightly colored drawings of beings with supernatural powers. _Unholy and of the devil’s work to lead those reading it astry!_ His father would shout, and that was even before his drunken rage. 

“Never read comics?!” Joy gasped, before she smiled, “Oh, you are in for a treat!”

“Miss Owens, please pay attention!” The teacher stated sternly causing Joy’s head to snap away and stare up at the front of the class.

“Pardon Mrs. Rye!” Joy quickly apologized as the teacher went back to lecturing about something or other. Joseph couldn’t recall the subject because he was distracted by Joy’s mischievous smile. When Mrs. Rye finally turned her back to them, Joy surreptitiously slid the Spiderman comic onto Joseph’s desk with a playful wink.

At lunchtime Joy invited Joseph to sit with her, Jerome, and Grace. They were both kind and agreeable to have him join at their table in the bustling cafeteria.

Joseph explained that his father was working at the Fairgrave’s auto shop in Falls End, his younger brother had also started his first day of school, while his older brother was looking for work.

“Oh!” Joy started, slapping the table energetically in her realization. “Have your older brother check in with my Pa at the Owens Ranch,” she added before taking a large bite of her wonder bread bologna cheddar sandwich. 

“You live on a ranch?” Joseph asked. He was still adjusting to the culture shock. Rome Georgia was like a bustling big city compared to quaint Hope County and the wilderness of Montana. 

“Yeah,” Joy murmured between mouthfuls before swallowing. “We have all sorts of animals, but mainly chickens. You guys should come by and check it out. Just watch out for Myrtle!”

“Yeah, Myrtle’s a beast,” Grace added with grimace as she clearly recalled some sort of unpleasant memory.

“She’s just a chicken,” Jerome remarked as he rolled his dark eyes behind large glasses.

“You’re just lucky she likes you,” Joy huffed into her sandwich. 

Joseph smiled at the trio, before his eyes went feverishly back to the Spiderman comic. A radioactive spider had just bitten Peter and Joseph was sure he was going to have some sort of terrible reaction. Poor Peter, probably ends up in the hospital...

“Hey,” Joy nudged his shoulder, “You can take that comic book home. Just bring it back when you’re done.”

Joseph’s mouth fell agape at the offer. That Joy would entrust him with this. She barely knew him...

“I can already tell we have a Peter Parker fan in the making here,” Joy stated proudly before she smiled smugly at her friends.

“Ugh, really, what about Wonder Woman?” Grace added.

“Uh guys, Captain America is where it’s at,” Jerome jumped in as he pointed his finger at them as if signifying an end of discussion. But Grace wasn’t having any of it. The pair began to bicker between themselves as to who of the two superheroes was obviously superior. 

Meanwhile Joseph turned to Joy. “I...thank you,” he expressed gratefully and Joseph could feel his smile reach his blue eyes. It was like a token of their newfound friendship. A pure friendship Joseph had never experienced before.

_...God giveth and God taketh..._

* * *

Joy’s chest heaved painfully as she coughed out what felt like one of her lungs. Once more the deputy found herself lying spread-eagled upon a pebbled shore; she really shouldn't make a habit out of this...

Joy laid there momentarily in the warm sun as her mind recalled the last thing she could remember. Jacob had jumped into the river, before she felt him pull her close and wrap himself protectively around her.

_Jacob?!_

Inhaling sharply, Joy scrambled to push herself up to a seating position, her eyes scanning the area but Jacob was not to be found. She even realized that the ski mask was gone.

Groaning, Joy gingerly pushed her aching body to stand, and shouted, “Jacob!” Not caring if anyone else heard her. 

Her ears strained for any sounds. Nothing, save for a couple of birds that took insult to her racket and flew away.

Was he alright? He had jumped in after her and shielded her body against the brunt of the rocks. _Dammit Jacob, why would you do that?_ Joy bit her wounded lower lip nearly relishing the external pain to distract her from the ache in her chest.

_Please be alright…_

The river flowed south, but where would Jacob be? Further upstream or downstream? 

Doing something was better than nothing, Joy decided. By the looks of the sun’s position, dusk was on its way. And so she walked along the shoreline, following the flowing river. 

The area was mostly silent save for the chirping of birds and buzzing of insects. Then a feminine voice reached Joy’s ears. Softly and gently, the voice sang, _“I was once was a child…With innocent eyes...And my family swore...They knew best for my life…”_

Joy looked around, but there was no one else along the flowing river. 

_“I followed their rules...As I played with my friends...When it came to the world...I never thought it would end...”_

There, it was coming from beyond a thick overgrowth of tall cattails. And the deputy followed the voice as she pushed her way through the wall of plant stalks.

_“Help me Faith...Help me Faith, shield me from sorrow...From fear of tomorrow…”_

Joy seemingly stepped into another world. It was a vast field of grapevine-like plants with large ivory trumpet flowers, the likes of which Joy had never seen before. A sea of white flowers slightly wavering in the breeze, until they were halted by a long line of trees.

_“Help me Faith...shield me from sadness...From worry and madness...Lead me to the bliss.”_

The soft singing voice finally stopped, and remarked with a hint of liliting delight, “Didn’t think I would be seeing you so soon, Joy Owens.”

Faith Seed rose to her feet from behind one of the nearby low trellises swathed with blooming vines. The young woman stepped out of the field, barefoot, a bouquet of white flowers in her hands. “But I’m not surprised to find you here of all the places in Henbane,” she added with a soft smile.

“What do you mean?” Joy replied with a slight frown. She had nearly forgotten she was still dressed in a Chosen’s outfit. Though without the ski mask she was recognizable.

Faith didn’t pause in her slow walk towards Joy, though she did quirk a brow at her. “Does this place not look familiar to you?” The young woman asked as she indicated to the field with a sweep of her bouquet. “We are at the Owens Ranch,” She stated before her blue eyes looked away. “Well, what’s left of it.”

Joy’s frown only deepened as her honey eyes swept the landscape. Beyond the sea of vines was a line of tall trees, but behind it loomed a dark structure, as if made of shadow.

“Here,” Faith exclaimed as she grabbed Joy’s hand with her free hand, and playfully tugged at it. “Come with me,” the young woman beckoned merrily as she prompted Joy to run along with her through the field. And as they ran through, Joy noticed a cloud of green haze trail behind them. 

Joy took in a gulp of fresh air and held her breath.

“Just past the trees,” Faith added breathlessly as they slipped by the tree trunks and out onto another field of vines. Though this one had a building nearby, or what was once a building.

A large derelict barn; the remnants of its once bright red painted wood, now burnt to charcoal black. Cautiously they entered, though most of the ceiling had long since fell away to decay, allowing the sunrays to seep into the rubble.

Faith released Joy’s hand and watched with interest as the deputy investigated the quiet ruins. Joy's eyes gazed down at the fine mounds of ash upon the ground, then up along the charred walls.

“Hey Joy?” Faith lightly tapped the deputy on the shoulder.

“Hmm?” Joy murmured absentmindedly as she tore her eyes away from the broken ceiling. Only to watched as Faith lifted up the bouquet of ivory trumpet flowers, smile, and blow a cloud of what looked like fine green pollen directly into Joy's face.

“What the…” Joy gasped, inhaling a good lungful of Bliss before she sneezed loudly. Quickly a green sparkly haze began to turn the world around her wiggley and wobbly. “Ohhh noooo,” the deputy murmured as she spun around on the spot, her legs threatening to give out from under her.

Joy would have fallen onto the ashen ground had Faith not dropped the bouquet to catch the deputy round the middle to steady her. “Oh, you’re very sensitive to the Bliss,” Sister Seed remarked in a voice mixed with curiosity and surprise.

“Nooo, you’reee sssensitiveee,” Joy’s mouth garbled, but she was no longer in the present as her mind was swept to a long time before...

* * *

Joy was lolling about on her stomach up in the hay loft surrounded by stacks of textbooks. She had gotten into the habit of studying up here for her final exams. Her excuse to the parents was that it was away from the distractions in the house, though the truth was far more distracting. On certain nights Jacob would visit her at the barn...for emotional support during these trying times...

It wasn’t sneaking out, technically, the pair just haven’t come out to the public yet. However, they were pretty much were boyfriend and girlfriend! After her finals, they could go steady and announce the news. 

Joy sighed longingly as she turned the next page for more _fascinating_ in-depth information about the Krebs cycle, when a sound reached her ears. Looking towards one of the glass pane windows down below, Joy could have sworn she saw a shadow move under the moonlight.

“Jacob?” Joy called out, curious as to why he didn’t just enter through the barn’s side door like usual. But there was silence again. _Weird_ , Joy could have sworn she heard someone. But, her parents were in Falls End spending time at the Spread Eagle with the Armstrongs and Jeffries. Probably all this cramming for finals was finally driving her insane. 

Then Luca began barking madly outside...and Joy smelled it, _smoke!_ The acrid fumes were quickly followed by hot crackling flames that ate away at the barn’s walls.

 _Oh fuck fuck fuck!_ Joy’s heart was beating madly in her chest as she scrambled towards the wooden ladder to climb down from the loft, splinters be damned! The barn was going up in blazes like a matchbox!

In her haste, Joy lost her footing and fell the rest of the way down, landing awkwardly upon her feet. _Damn my weak traitorous ankles!_ Joy hissed in pain. But she had to move, the interior of the barn was filling up quickly with thick billowing smoke!

 _Get down, stay low!_ Her brain ordered, and Joy was forced to crawl her way towards the door. But she was growing dizzier by the moment and wanted to rest...just for a second.

Luca wasn’t barking anymore. Had he gone for help? _That only happened in the Lassie TV show, Joy. Not here. No one’s coming for you…_

Suddenly the barn’s door burst open, allowing the smoke to billow out into the starry night air. 

“Joy!” A deep voice shouted wildly.

 _Jacob?_ It was him, Joy just knew it. But, she wasn’t even sure where to look for the stinging smoke was making her eyes water and lungs wheeze. With her remaining full breath, Joy shouted back, “Jacob!” Then succumbed to lung rattling coughing spasms.

Eyes blurry with burning tears and a head feeling as light as a balloon, all Joy could only remember were strong arms lifting her up, enveloping around her, as her head was tucked protectively against someone’s chest.

* * *

It was a while before she finally came too...

Opening her eyes, Joy was met by sterile white walls and the sound of something rhythmically beeping behind her head. She then became acutely aware that a mask was snuggly covering her nose and mouth, making her feel suddenly claustrophobic. Joy moved her hand to swipe away the offending plastic when she froze, staring wide eyed at the wires and tubes stuck upon her appendage. A pulse oximeter clipped upon the tip of her pointer finger and an IV burrowed into the nook of her elbow.

She stared dumbfounded at the medical equipment before a warm hand caught her wrist. “No honey, you need to leave it on,” spoke her mother as her warm fingers caressed her daughter’s skin as she guided Joy's arm to rest back down.

Mrs. Owens’s kind brown eyes looked worn and tired behind her black framed glasses. There even seemed to be new grey strands in her softly braided brown hair.

Then something occurred to Joy. “Mom?” She asked, her voice muffled by the oxygen flowing mask.

“Yes sweetie?” Mrs. Owens replied in a soothing voice. “Pa is talking to the doctor,” she added with a soft smile.

“Where’s Jacob?” Joy asked.

There was a pregnant pause as Mrs. Owens’s smile faded at her daughter’s question.

“Mom, where’s Jacob?” Joy asked again with growing trepidation at her mother’s hesitance to answer.

“He...he’s in the Burn Unit,” Mrs. Owens finally stated, looking pained as she did so.

“...Burn...Unit?” Joy repeated slowly. “BURN UNIT!” She stated loudly through the stifling mask. _No no no!_ Joy’s heart started to race, and in response the telemetry beeped faster and faster. Her mask fogged up from her rapid breathing

“Sweetie, Joy, you need to calm down, honey please!” Mrs. Owens begged as she hovered anxiously over her daughter. “Nurse? Nurse!” She cried out urgently.

In reponse a nurse ran in, a syringe prepped in her hand and she quickly pushed the fluid into the port of Joy’s IV. In mere seconds Joy’s eyelids grew heavy, as she flopped back down upon the gurney, and drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

“Lungs are stable, minimal residual damage from smoke inhalation. She’s very lucky Mr. Owens,” The physician reported as he completed the paperwork. Finally Joy was discharged, and the first thing she did was hightail it to the burn unit on the other side of the hospital. In her haste, Joy nearly crashed headlong into Joseph and John just outside Jacob’s room.

"Joe! Johnny!" Joy gasped before she engulfed the stunned pair into a great big bear hug.

“We came to see you, but you were sleeping all the time,” John explained softly once Joy released them.

She was about to walk into the room, when Joseph caught her arm, making Joy halt. “He...he is in a medically induced coma,” Joseph gently stated, preparing her, before he withdrew his hand.

Joy’s face paled and she swallowed against the tightness in her throat before taking a hesitant step forward. John followed after her, but Joseph gently put his hand upon his brother’s small shoulder, and shook his head.

Joy entered the room and gasped loudly. Gods, Jacob’s body was wrapped from head to foot like a mummy, with more wires than she had. And...he had been intubated; a tube trailed from his mouth towards a machine that softly pumped oxygen into him. Again there was a gentle beeping of the telemetry, the strong scent of alcoholic disinfectant, and a metal IV pole near the head of the bed, which was adorned with various bags of fluids.

Hands trembling, Joy walked towards the bed in a state of numbness. Kneeling down near his head, she whispered shakily, “Jacob,” into his ear, though he made no movement or sign that he heard her. 

“Thank you for saving my life…” And then Joy broke down into tears.

* * *

Joy visited the next day, and the day after that. Sometimes with Joseph and John, sometimes alone. Before school, after school, on the weekends, she came…even as it began to snow.

“Hey Jacob,” Joy softly greeted his sleeping form, just as she had the times prior. She’d stop by and just talk to him about the events that day or anything else that came to mind. Maybe it was selfish, but Joy hoped it was soothing for Jacob. She sat down on the plain chair the nurse had now kept there out of habit.

“I’ve got a surprise for you,” Joy remarked as she dug for something in her backpack. “I found it at the Roosevelt Family’s Knick Knack store. I thought you might like it,” Joy pulled out a small lacquered walnut tree wooden box with shiny brass metal accents. A music box...

Carefully she wound up the key, then opened the box, revealing an aged golden label within the lid with the words, “Only You,” embossed upon it. The inside of the music box were intricate brass mechanical parts that began to whir about releasing its haunting tune.

 _“Only youuu…"_ the music box began to play as Joy set it on the stand besides Jacob’s bed. She then carefully slipped her hand into Jacob’s, where the skin wasn’t heavily covered in gauze.

_"...Can make all this world seem right…"_

She thought she had felt his fingers move...just a little...or maybe it was all in her head. Though the warm tears rolling down her cheeks were real...

A rough finger traced along Joy's right cheek, wiping away the tear. Bright honey brown eyes opened up to see present day Jacob standing in front of her, at the center of the barn’s ruins. 

“Jacob,” Joy began as her lips trembled. “I _..._ I don’t deserve you,” she whispered as he tenderly wiped another tear away. 

“How ‘bout you just stay away from rivers...and fires,” Jacob smirked into his beard as he continued to dry the trails running down her cheeks. 

“Can’t make any promises,” Joy tried to jest through her sniffle. The deputy closed her eyes, sighing at how calloused yet soothing Jacob’s fingers were. He had been looking out for her at every turn, meanwhile she was a walking disaster. Unable to help herself Joy added, “I was going to fly a plane next.” 

Jacob paused in his ministrations, only momentarily. “You’ll be the death of me Miss Owens,” Jacob snorted lightly as he shook his auburn haired head. Then his finger traced down to her jaw, tucked under her chin, and beckoned Joy to look up at him.

Joy’s lip twitched upwards as she opened her bright eyes to gaze up into Jacob’s face, and take in his soulful blue eyes. The green sparkling haze was slowly dissolving from her field of view. But then a vision flashed painfully across her mind. Keen, cold sapphire eyes glinted back at her with malice causing Joy’s vision to go red with a visceral blood boiling anger.

Hyperventilating, Joy’s body began to shake, sweat beaded upon her brows and upper lip while her heart beated against her chest like a drum. “I feel sick!” Joy gasped as her stomach churned and bubbled, threatening to empty everything she had ever eaten as acid burned its way up her throat.

“Oh! She’s crashing from Bliss withdrawal!” Faith gasped.

“Faith! Do something!” Jacob commanded angrily over Joy’s head as he tried to hold the deputy's tremulous body steady.

Joy's vision darkened save for a lingering crimson halo. “No! Don’t hurt him! I won’t let you!” Joy heard her younger voice scream out in rage, just before succumbing to the black abyss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really really hope you enjoyed this chapter! I feel like we touched up on many things, but there are still tantalizing mysteries to solve! And to quote The Witcher, “All decent predictions rhyme.” xD 
> 
> You may have noticed the tags changed. I think I can safely say we know who has had Joy's heart all along, now we just need to figure out how they'll end up together through all this and finally confess!
> 
> Thank you everyone for the amazing support <3


	11. The Deal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As we continue to unravel more memories and progress through the story, I thought a little Jacob delight would be a nice touch. Please enjoy the naughtiness as I make him deliciously suffer!

The heavily wooded forest allowed some sunlight to peek in through its lush canopy. Down below, the smell of damp earth now mixed with the invigorating crispness of spring.

“Joy! Please slow down!” Joseph pleaded breathlessly as he carefully made his way around the large jutting stone maze of the underbrush. The teenager wore an oversized gray long sleeved Henley with cuffs slightly frayed and hem tucked into baggy black jeans. His worn navy blue backpack slapped against his rear as he tried to keep up. Cleary, Joseph was not used to such vigorous activities.

Meanwhile, a ponytailed Joy, wearing an overly colorful Lisa Frank unicorn t-shirt and light blue denim jeans, skimmed along the mountainous trail like a jubilant billy goat.

The pair were taking a trip through the Whitetail Mountains as a part of filling out their high school biology field notebooks. The requirement was to sketch various springtime fauna and flora spotted along the trails. Joy knew the area like the back of her hand. She even had bear mace and a walkie talkie in her black backpack, should the need arise.

“Come on Joe, come on! It’s just a bit further!” Joy cheered in her seemingly unending energy reserve. She climbed up the stones like a gecko, before turning around and stretching her arm back down to aid Joseph.

“Here give me your hand,” Joy offered with an enthusiastic grin. But when Joseph lifted his hand up to her, Joy accidently grabbed his mid-forearm, eliciting a cry of pain from the teenager.

Quickly Joy released his arm, worried she had hurt her friend. And as she did so, Joseph’s sleeve slipped down, revealing large purple to yellow blotches of discolored skin.

“Joe...” she gasped. “What are those on your arm?” Joy whispered as she stared, wide eyed down at him in horror.

Joseph quickly pushed his sleeve back down his arm as he looked silently away, avoiding her gaze.

“Are those bruises?” Joy asked softly from atop the cold slab of stone.

“Joe...who is hurting you?”

She remembered that Jacob was Joseph’s older brother and the new worker at the Owens Ranch. But, while she was still just getting to know Jacob, he seemed to love his brothers dearly and wouldn’t lay a finger upon them. Then there was John, the youngest Seed. Gods, Johnny was a little angel who wouldn’t even hurt a fly. Actually he began to tear up after nearly killing one!

“It’s...it’s okay Joy, please do not worry about it,” Joseph gently remarked as Joy shifted uncomfortably about on the boulder.

“But...” Joy was about to protest, before she closed her mouth, worrying her bottom lip with a slight frown. “Alright, I won’t ask,” she acquiesced and stretched down her hand to help Joseph properly up the boulder this time. However, Joy didn’t let go of his hand even once Joseph was standing up on the boulder in front of her.

How do you convey feelings of utmost trust and desire to help? Within the few short months Joy felt she already knew Joseph for a lifetime. It was as if they were just old souls reuniting once again in this time period...

Silently Joy reached out to him with her other hand and pressed her warm forehead against his as she closed her eyes. _‘You are precious to me,’_ she tried to convey with her gesture. 

“Joe, if you ever need help or anything, please let me know,” Joy whispered sincerely.

“I will Joy, I promise,” Joseph whispered back as he returned the pressure upon her forehead, as if to say, _you are precious to me too..._

Joy wouldn't overstep Joseph’s wishes, but if she caught wind of who was behind it...then god help them...

Joseph cleared his throat causing the pair to break apart as they quietly took a step back from one another. "So where is our worthwhile find?" The teenager asked with a small smile.

"Oh!" Joy gasped as she smacked her forehead, she had completely forgotten about it! “Over here past the thicket,” Joy beckoned Joseph to follow her. The pair silently ducked through a particularly dense patch of brushwood, which opened into a sizable clearing completely covered in a sea of delicate blue blooms, each with a bright golden center.

"Forget-me-nots," Joy exclaimed as she walked up to the flowers. Then she twirled around to grin back at Joseph as she remarked playfully, "They are the color of your eyes.” 

A light pink blush tinted Joseph's cheeks. "That's the nicest thing anyone, who wasn't a family member, has said to me," the teenager murmured looking shyly pleased as he tucked his hair behind his ear.

Grinning widely now, Joy plucked a stem and held it out to Joseph as she slid down onto one knee. "Forget me not?" She asked dramatically with her other hand upon her heart.

Joseph rolled his bright blue eyes at Joy's theatrical display. Yet, with a small smile replied, "Never," as he took the proffered bloom in between his fingers.

She then paused, knee still planted upon the dirt, and gave the teenager a grimace.

"I'm hesitant to ask…" Joseph remarked as he raised a cautious brow, the flower still held between his fingers.

"We're gonna have to check for ticks after this," Joy groaned.

"Ticks?” Joseph repeated as his brows raised upon his forehead.

"Welcome to Montana," Joy smiled deviously as she wiggled her eyebrows.

* * *

She was resting upon a simple cot and wearing less layers of the Chosen clothing. A dull ache upon her rib cage made the woman lift her neck to see a pressure bandage stuck on the left side of her chest, just above her breast. The red henley shirt had been sliced further open by a knife.

“I had to deliver an injection of the antidote straight to your heart,” a soft lilting voice remarked.

Joy gazed around for the owner. Her bright honey brown eyes took in the white painted wooden walls, and the deputy realized she was laying in what looked like a small simple sleeping quarters for Peggies. Faith, empty handed this time, quietly approached before kneeling down next to Joy’s cot.

“Jacob had to hold you down as you were fighting us,” she remarked while checking the bandage. “You were amazingly strong.”

“Why did you blow that Bliss into my face?” Joy asked as she let her heavy head fall back onto a soft pillow.

“John let it slip that you called him Johnny when you were enraptured by the Bliss,” Faith answered. “I thought it would help you remember your Ranch,” she confessed as she tore her gaze away from the bandage to look at Joy.

“I didn’t mean for you to have such a reaction to the Bliss,” Faith added. Her blue eyes were soft and the young woman did look remorseful.

But then Dutch’s warning echoed in Joy’s mind. _“Faith spins a good heart jerking tear sobbing story that could win an Oscar. But she’s a two faced liar with a knack for creating an addictive drug called Bliss.”_

Joy sighed wearily. This was all becoming confusing and convoluted. The deputy then realized a certain other’s missing presence. “Where is Jacob?” She asked the Herald.

“I sent him back to the Whitetail Mountains to continue his duty,” remarked an even and calm tone from the doorway.

_Joseph…_

Even as a teenager, Joe still had that serene air about him. But on closer inspection, Joseph looked more gaunt and tired now as he came to a quiet stop besides Faith. Dark hair sleeked back into his signature bun. And this time he wore a very polished outfit consisting of a collared white button up long sleeved shirt, overlaid with a black leather vest. His black rosary beads, ever present, and wrapped around his left hand.

Joy now recalled that he had worn that outfit when John pulled her out of the water. That night at the river, Joseph had said, _‘I will save you, just as you saved me.’_ And he had pressed his warm forehead against Joy’s as he closed his eyes...just as she had done in the memory. ' _You are precious to me.'_

Joy remembered feeling fierce protectiveness of Joe. That she would have done anything for him to ensure no one would hurt him. Yet he was now hurting others...

“Off conditioning more people to kill?” Joy growled as her bright honey brown eyes narrowed angrily up at _The Father._

Joseph’s ochre tinted eyes barely batted a lash at the deputy’s accusation.

“And now you’re planning to poison Hope County by tainting the water system with Bliss?” Joy did a poor job hiding her mounting outrage.

Oh, how simple this could have all been when Joy had been blissfully ignorant of her connection to the Seeds. But now...with her memories; she couldn't hurt them. Joy now had a sneaking suspension Joseph knew that and was counting on it.

He silently continued to gaze down at her. His eyes lingered momentarily at her bandaged chest, though no hint of emotion crossed his face.

Suddenly, Joy was seized with a desire to make Joseph show an emotion, to crack that serene mask he hid behind. But, she also wanted to keep her cool.

However, her patience was running thin at his continued reticence. Now anger coursed through her while she was subjugated to the man’s unwavering stare, and she couldn’t take it much longer. “Say something Joe,” Joy practically growled.

And there it was, a fleeting expression of surprise in response to Joy using his nickname. 

“I think we can come to an agreement,” Joseph spoke gently with a slight tilt of his head. “John is being, difficult…” Joseph remarked carefully. “You will go to him, confess, and atone. Do this and I will ensure that no Bliss shall enter the water system.”

Joy now glared at him. He had turned the whole situation into an arrangement, should the deputy play nicely. 

“Deal,” Joy finally agreed.

* * *

Back at the Armory, the gruff veteran kicked his drills up to a hellish level, until he was the last man standing. To the perceptive eye, one could see that Jacob was doing his best to keep his mind off of something...or someone. Unfortunately his Chosen were too focused on staying alive.

"Alright, who majorly pissed off the Herald this time?!" One of the Chosen, and the longest standing member of Jacob's elites, groaned as he dragged his sore body off the training mat. Two other Peggies were still sparring with the veteran, while another downed man was crawling out of harms way.

"No one!" the youngest Chosen member hissed in between breaths as he tried to rest his bruised ribs by laying completely still on the floor. "Everyone's been on their toes since he returned to the bunker."

“Where’s that Chosen pup?” Someone asked in between wheezes.

“Who?” Prompted another Peggie.

“There was a woman Chosen training with us last time and Jacob really had a thing for her. She’d calm him down.”

“We have a woman Chosen?” 

Finally Jacob dismissed his Chosens. Sore aching muscles distracted the veteran quite nicely for a moment...until the itch he couldn’t scratch returned with vengeance. Jacob had been in a foul mood since Joseph sent him away. 

“We each have our duties, Jacob,” Joseph remarked evenly as the veteran hovered over Joy’s resting body. The sheer raw strength of her unhinged thrashing vividly branded in the veteran's mind as he held her down. Joy had calmed down after Faith injected some medicine into her chest via a large needle. Jacob had then carefully carried Joy back to a nearby Eden’s Gate convent.

Joy had finally remembered their history, and Jacob didn’t want to risk anything that may screw it up. He wanted to stay by her. Persuade Joy to return with him, somehow persuade her to join him. 

Seed had been known in the army as one with a singular mindset and honed body. Nothing could sway his thoughts, emotions were locked and keys tossed away, bodily urges never distracted him...until now. For the mere idea of having Joy close, very close, taunted his tightly wound nerves.

Her full lips, warm body, those innocent honey brown eyes. Finally the wolf within him awakened for Jacob simply wanted to devour her...

A replay of his spar with Joy sent a thrilling shiver down his spine and the veteran half growled-half groaned, torn by the maddening yet pleasant sensation the memory produced. Making up his mind, Jacob stomped over to the locker room...an ice cold shower was in order. 

There was a row of moderately sized showers and Jacob chose the furthest stall. Quickly he stripped before letting the cold water run down his sweat glistening back.

But as his mind became used to the frigid water, his thoughts returned to Joy. Jacob began to wonder just how her dexterous fingers would feel upon him. He remembered how her finger traced out one of the scars upon his chest, and how his body reacted to her simple touch. It was then that the veteran realized that Joy was never deterred by his scars. In fact they may have had the opposite effect on the young woman. Soft lips pressing back against his flashed through his mind and the very notion of him being desired by Joy caused him to let loose a lustful growl to rumble deeply in his chest. 

He was barely cognizant of the fact that his hand began to lazily trace along a few long scars upon chiseled his chest, imaging Joy’s fingers tracing the scars once again. His skin tingled yearningly at the thought, while his hand began to travel down along his lean muscular abdomen.

Jacob inhaled sharply as he slid his hands around his extremely sensitive flaccid member, tracing the smooth thickness. Had Joy been with anyone else? How would he compare? Based on her reaction when she pressed into him during the spar, how her eyes widened in surprise upon pressing against his bugle. He was sure she had gulped too. The idea of Joy finally exploring him fully made Jacob’s cock twitch with anticipation.

At the thought of finally pushing himself deep into Joy and hearing her moans of pleasure, Jacob felt his member begin to throb as it hardened. The veteran quickly realized that with her size, Joy would be tight, encompassing him like a tight glove. He’d make sure she was fully wet, ready for him... _and only him_. Jacob growled hungrily as he quickened the tempo at which he stroked his large engorged member.

Again he recalled how hungrily they had kissed, and it made Jacob come completely undone with a snarling roar that echoed in the empty locker room. Waves of undulating ecstasy caused his muscular legs to shake with weakness. Pressing his forehead hard into the chilled wet wall of the shower, the man rolled his hips and bucked as the last remains of his seed emptied. 

Chest heaving and skin flushed, the veteran relished the afterglow, thinking of how exponentially satisfying it would be once he had Joy underneath him.

_Oh...he had it bad...._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And off to John we goooo! I hope you enjoyed the Jacob scene, as well as the childhood flashbacks. I’ve been really enjoying writing this story and sharing it with you! :3
> 
> *While there are ticks in Georgia, I imagine that the Seed brothers didn't spend much time frolicking in the wilds like they are able to experience in Montana.


	12. Bruises that Bind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I passed my exam, oh happy tears!!! 
> 
> That you readers for your supportive comments <3 
> 
> Please enjoy this nice long, yet emotionally charged, chapter.

Joy was furious with him...

….but Joseph had to do what he must to save her...even if she ended up hating him down to his very essence, Joy would ultimately be safe.

But, that anger... _that wrath_. In the past, Joseph felt fury radiate from her body, heard the bite in her voice, saw the bitterness in those honey eyes. Only three times Joseph had seen Joy in such a state, but never had it been directed at him before.

“Joy, please don’t be angry…” a teenaged Joseph begged as he nervously tugged on the collar of his dark blue sweater. He had finally let slip who had been hurting him, who was behind all his bruises.

Joseph had tripped and fallen down while the pair were racing to the barn after school. He fell pretty hard upon the graveled road, scuffing both palms of his hands and tearing a hole through his light blue jeans upon his right knee. The teenager sat on the graveled path, wiping the grit from his stinging palms. Joseph then tucked his soft shoulder length hair behind his ears, before he surveyed the damage to his knee. The palm-sized abrasion felt like a nasty burn; it was dirtied with road debri and now starting to bleed.

Always prepared, Joy withdrew a little first aid kit from her black backpack. She dirtied the pant legs of her light blue denim overalls as she knelt besides to him. Joseph weakly protested against her care, but Joy wasn’t having any of it as she firmly shook her ponytailed head. She pushed up the long sleeves of her dark green turtleneck and began to fish out the necessary items to disinfect and cover his wound.

Joseph braced himself as she rolled up his right pant leg, exposing a healing bruise around his calf, before the bleeding abrasion on his knee. Joy gasped, loudly.

“Your dad...he did that,” she exhaled slowly. Her gaze locked upon the purple to yellow discolor skin. It looked as if a large hand wrapped itself around Joseph’s calf...and that is what had happened.

“Your father hurts you…” Joy seethed through gritted teeth. Joseph watched as bright honey brown eyes gleamed with growing fury, like a brewing thunderstorm. Hot anger radiated from her petite body, as she took in deep steadying breaths.

“Joy, please, I’m okay,” Joseph pleaded as he tried to calm her down. It was just how things were in the household. He then clenched his teeth tightly together at the bite of the alcohol wipe, as Joy cleaned the blood and grit from his abrasion.

“Does Jacob know?” Joy demanded sharply with fists clenched, once she was done placing a large bandage upon his knee.

“Yes," Joseph admitted, feeling his body deflate as her narrowed eyes shifted up to meet his. “He...he usually puts himself in between me and Papa,” Joseph practically whispered. “Now that he's taller and stronger, Papa’s rages don’t last as long. But when Jacob's at work...really Joy it's okay. I can handle it.”

“No!" Joy suddenly blurted out with honey brown eyes overbright. “No it’s not okay Joe!” She flung her arms around his shoulder and hugged him tightly. “It’s not okay,” her muffled voice cracked as she spoke into the nook of his neck.

The teenager was momentarily frozen with shock. That Joy cared so much about him. Slowly, Joseph moved his arms to hug her back...and felt warm tears trickle down his neck.

_...The bruises hurt, but Joy’s tears hurt even more…_

* * *

That evening Mr. Owens visited the Seed residence...

Joseph had met Mr. Owens on several occasions when hanging out at the Owens’s ranch with Joy. He was a man with an old time rugged handsomeness and an air of an old western cowboy. The long stubble upon his olive skinned face was of a peppered black and white. Still a fit man, molded by years of hard labor out on the ranch, though a helping of good home cooked meals rotuned his belly a little.

What always caught Joseph’s attention was Mr. Owens's hazel eyes. They were warm and caring, but had the fiery edge of a protector. A stark contrast to Mr. Seeds sharp, cold sapphire eyes...

Joseph had accidentally walked in on the conversation at the front door. Remaining hidden behind the kitchen wall, he listened in.

“Don’t beat your boys, you're supposed to be a Father, not a monster,” Mr. Owens’s strong deep voice stated.

“It’s none of your business what I do to my kids,” Mr. Seed replied gruffly.

“When there’s abuse, it becomes my business,” Mr. Owens countered sharply.

Joseph could hear his father snicker in response before asking, “And what are ya’ going to do?”

“If it continues, I will get Sheriff Whitehorse involved. I will get the kids away from you,” Mr. Owens stated in a calm and even voice.

“You’d take ‘em from me?” Mr. Seed snarled. “Leave ‘em homeless, that’s what you’ll end up doing, so get off your high horse and…”

“I’ll adopt them,” Mr. Owens replied without hesitation.

Mr. Owens's statement must have left his father flabbergasted, for there were a few seconds of silence. Joseph peered around the corner to observe the two men staring each other down.

“Get off my property, and stay away from my boys!” Mr. Seed angrily barked as he pointed his finger towards the driveway.

Later that night, his father went through an entire bottle of whiskey at the kitchen table. Papa was about to reach for another when he halted. His hand was hovering over a lighter that was between him and the next bottle of whiskey upon the round table.

Upon noticing Joseph’s gaze, Mr. Seed growled lowly, “Go to bed boy.”

“Yes sir,” Joseph replied weakly, the new bruise still freshly aching, this time on his other leg. Though he took his time going up the stairs, just long enough to watch his father leave through the front door, a bottle of liquor in one hand and the lighter in the other.

...Joseph had an ominous sense that something terrible was going to happen...

* * *

“Are you crazy?” Grace asked with a look of complete shock once Joy recounted her adventure, and finally...her deal with Joseph. “You can’t go to John!” Her voice echoed in the small church of Falls End.

“It’s not that bad of an idea, come on Jerome, back me up here,” Joy implored to the Pastor as he silently leaned against the altar, his arms crossed.

“No, you’re crazy,” Jerome stated matter of factly after a brief look of contemplation.

“Traitor,” Joy hissed from the wooden pew she was sitting upon. The Deputy had finally shed the Chosen outfit, though she snuck it away for safekeeping. Joy was now wearing a long sleeved red and black plaid button up, slightly left open revealing a black tank top underneath. Dark denim skinny jeans were tucked into her brown hiking boots. Her freshly washed brown hair hung in fluffy layers about her shoulders.

Grace was now pacing up and down the center row like a caged lioness, until she came to a halt in front of the Deputy. “Joy, you go there, you’ll come out covered in scars, some that can’t be seen,” Grace stated in a low voice as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Joy looked away from Grace and Jerome. Her bright honey brown eyes gazed out of the shattered church window. “John won’t hurt me,” Joy remarked softly. “I know it in my heart.”

Grace looked over to Jerome, waving her hands about for additional support. “Joy…” The Pastor began cautiously as he pushed up his dark rimmed glasses.

But the Deputy softly interrupted him, “...You didn’t see him that night.” Joy continued to stare out of the window as she gently added, “During the cleansing, I saw Johnny. He’s still in there, and I’ve got to try bringing him back.”

“Joy, that night…” Grace began as she shook her baseball capped head. “John cursed at us while spitting out blood. And you were high on Bliss!”

"I'm going…" Joy firmly stated as she turned her head to give the pair a look of determination.

"And I thought Jacob was the most stubborn mule I ever... _grrrr_ ," Grace growled as she made neck throttling gestures with her gloved hands.

Then the sharpshooter suddenly deflated, shoulders slumping in defeat, as her expression became sullen. Joy had never seen her friend look so grim that it greatly alarmed her.

Grace remarked in a soft voice, “I’m broke.” Coffee brown eyes met honey brown as she held Joy’s gaze. “Not broken, but emotionally...I’m broke. Joy, with all that's gone on with Jacob, Joseph, and John...it takes so much energy for me to get through the day that by the end of it...all I wanna do is pick up the ground and slip underneath, curl up in a ball and cry my eyes out.” The sharpshooter’s body shuddered as she closed her eyes.

Both Jerome and Joy moved at once, engulfing Grace’s body in a great bear hug. They stood there for a moment in the silent church. Three dear old friends, whose reunion was brought about by the infamous Eden’s Gate, which was led by their childhood friends. The world around them just didn’t make sense anymore...

Finally the three broke apart. Each one surreptitiously rubbing their eyes, sniffing, and clearing their throats.

“I’ve got no more tears left to shed,” Grace finally remarked. “So you better come back Joy Owens or I swear to God…”

Jerome loudly cleared his throat loudly, as they were standing in the middle of the church.

"Just be careful," Grace sighed after she rolled her eyes at Jerome. "Even more careful than last time!" She quickly added with a pointed finger at the grinning Deputy.

* * *

John just sat there…

He had forgone his long coat, just didn’t feel like wearing it as what was the point? Instead, the man silently lounged upon the brown leather couch in his long sleeved silken blue button up shirt, tight dark grey vest, black denim jeans held tight around the hips by his signature belt buckle, and recently polished black boots that shined. His body sunk into the plush sofa, but he didn’t feel the comfort.

John had locked himself in his ranch. Like a recluse, he didn’t want to talk to anyone or deal with anything from the outside. Faith had called multiple times, but John had left each one go voicemail.

John just listlessly sat there, arms crossed upon his chest, blue eyes slightly glassy, as they stared at the small perfect model of his plane, The Affirmation. _Nothing_. Usually the sight of his beloved aircraft would send a shiver of thrills within him. But nothing stirred within the man’s soul. Nothing seemed to spark a sensation that he was alive. Not even pain...

John felt hollow; as if the whittler who made him had taken extreme care to craft the exterior, then scooped out the bark within, leaving only emptiness inside…

Sighing, John gently closed his eyes, and drifted off into a slightly lucid dream...

The spring crispness was slowly giving way to the rising summer heat. By now John had made a new routine, when school was off early, he would come to the Owens’s ranch and hang out at the barn. The boy took care to keep distance between himself and the white feathered terror named Myrtle. Her beady eyes always watched him walk by, but John learned that as long as he didn’t make eye contact with that chicken, her feathers wouldn’t get all ruffled. Jacob would then greet him, though his brother was usually still in the midst of work. So John would play with Luca and diligently do his homework. Sooner or later, Joy and Joseph would arrive from school, sometimes joined by Jerome and Grace.

Today John decided to sit out in the tall grass, leaning against the trunk of a large lone tree. It provided just the right amount of shade, yet rays of sunlight peeked through to warm the skin. He was wearing a bright yellow t-shirt with bubbly scrawl of _‘Owens’s Eggcellent Eggs’_ upon the chest, over a smiling sunny side up egg. The t-shirt had been a birthday present from the Owens family, and its hem was tucked into brown cargo shorts. John was so comfortable that he fell asleep...

Humming, soft and low reached his ear; beckoning him to awaken. But, John just wanted to keep his eyes closed and listen to the soothing musical song. Then John felt someone gently stroke his short brown haired head. His bright blue eyes opened up in surprise.

“Hey, you’re awake,” Joy chuckled as she finished leaning back, appraising him with a smile. She was wearing light blue denim shorts and a white short sleeved shirt that had a picture of a popular singing boy band. John couldn’t remember their names, but knew that even the girls in his class had a huge crush on them.

John then realized something was lightly perched upon his head. Reaching out for it, the boy realized it was a crown of white to pink clover flowers.

“I’m making more for Jacob and Joe,” Joy whispered almost conspiratorially. And John giggled at the idea of his older brothers wearing flower crowns.

“What about you?” He asked as he left his own crown upon his head.

Joy paused, tilted her head at his question, then shrugged. “Crowns are for Princes and Princesses,” The teenager stated as she continued threading one green clover stem into the other; her bright honey brown eyes focused upon her work. Though, John felt like she just wasn’t making eye contact with him.

“You’re a Princess,” the boy stated firmly as he leaned forward, his own flower crown slipping slightly upon his head.

Joy snorted loudly...quite unprincess-like.

“I will make you one!” John declared as he began eagerly plucking up handfuls of flowers. But then he paused, with piles of smooshed up blooms in his palms. Scrunching up his face in distaste, he dumped the ruined flowers and began plucking fresh stems, carefully this time. Then, John scooched closer to Joy so he could watch how she made the chain. John was a quick learner, and with tongue slightly sticking out between his pressed lips, he busied himself making the best flower crown on earth.

...It looked terrible...it was all lopsided and the stems were oddly spaced. John was a failure and his shoulders drooped heavily with disappointment.

“Johnny?” Joy questioned as she lightly nudged his shoulder.

“It’s not good enough,” John lamented with a pout as he peeked at the perfect ones Joy had made.

“What are you talk’n about, it’s beautiful,” Joy remarked happily.

But instead of being cheered up, John just let out a loud snort. It was like calling a toad, with all it’s bumpy slimy warts, _pretty_.

Joy paused, before a small smile graced her lips. “It’s my favorite one,” She remarked softly.

“Really?” John asked, feeling unsure as he peeked a side glance at the teenager sitting besides him.

“Yep!” Joy enthusiastically replied with a nod. “See, you made it all by yourself with love. And ya’ know what?”

“What?” John asked as he now fully looked at her, watching as Joy lifted up the flower crown and placed it upon her fluffy brown haired head.

“I really feel like a Princess,” Joy confided as she smiled at him. “Thank you Prince Johnny.”

John gaped at the teenager. He made her feel like a Princess?! As this realization dawned on him, John beamed back at her with a wide smile.

“Now let's go sneak these flower crowns on your brothers!” Joy whispered with mischievous glee that made John giggle with excitement.

“Baptist Seed?” inquired one of the male Peggie guards as heavy footsteps approached, causing John to wake up to the present. “We have an intruder. It looks like that Deputy.”

 _‘Joy? Here?’_ John thought, momentarily stunned at this news before a shiver of excitement ran down his spine. Wait...“Don’t shoot her!” John exclaimed with hand outstretched, as his heart thumped inside his chest.

“Uhhh,” The Peggie began looking downright guilty. “We shot her, w-with the Bliss darts,” the man quickly added as John’s eyes suddenly had an icy glint. “Shall we bring her to you?”

“No, just don’t touch her, I’ll do it,” John sighed as he pushed himself off of the plush couch.

 _‘I’m surrounded by idiots,’_ John thought as he rubbed his forehead. The injuries from a couple nights ago have finally healed. But, there was still an intermittent headache and soreness where the laceration had been. The bruise upon his left temple slowly fading, but still noticeable and tender.

Luckily, John had his guards use a reduced dose of Bliss in their hunter darts. But, the concentration was still enough to render Joy unconscious. She laid spread-eagle upon the gravel of the Ranch Seed driveway, brown fluffy hair splayed around her head. She stirred slightly as John scooped her into his arms. He could hear her mumbling lowly under her breath. It was just as Faith had warned him on the voicemail; the Deputy was very sensitive to the Bliss.

John carefully laid Joy upon his cushy brown leather sofa in the living room. He watched her for a moment as she slept, her chest softly rising then falling as she continued to mumble under her breath. Then, Joy snickered in her sleep, as if laughing at her own humor which made John chuckle with amusement. Gently, he tucked that unruly strand of hair back behind her ear. There was a warmth growing in his chest as he looked fondly down at... _his sleeping princess._

How long would she be out? Then a thought occurred to him. Joy would no doubt be thirsty when she came to and John knew exactly what would make her day...

* * *

Joy had Grace drop her off a couple miles away from the location. It would be easier, and probably safer this way. Carefully Joy snuck through the underbrush of the surrounding forest until the luxurious Seed Ranch loomed into view. Its wooden facade was adorned with multiple black banners of Eden’s Gate, that waved in the crisp breeze.

Joy’s plan was an absolutely brilliant one, for no one would have expected it from her. And if there was one thing Joy was good at, it was keeping her opponents in a constant state of confusion as to what she was going to do next.

The Deputy, summing up all the confidence she had, sauntered up the Ranch’s main driveway with hands held up high in the air, her palms flat and empty. “I come in peace,” Joy stated loudly in the air.

….Aaaand she was still shot in the left thigh with a Bliss tranquilizer. “Mother Fuckerssss!” Joy shouted before her mouth felt numb and laggy. She was in the midst of sticking out her two middle fingers, pointing them at anything moving, as her green hazy vision became all wiggly wobbly; her mind moving back through time...

It was a crisp spring day and Joy hiked her black backpack higher upon her back as she walked through a sparse residential community on her way home. Joy was wearing a soft sherbet colored flannel and high waist light blue denim pants. Her unruly fluffy brown hair was up in a ponytail and tucked into a tan Cougars High baseball cap.

Suddenly there was a shout and more commotion just around the corner ahead. Joy quickly rounded the corner to watch a scene unravel. John, the youngest Seed brother whom Joy had just recently met at the barn, was getting hassled by three older boys...wait, she knew those kids. Troy, Alan, and Benny, sophomores at her school who’ve been trouble since elementary. Benny had a hold of a nice model airplane and was waving it over John, making the boy jump up and down for it while they laughed at his attempts to get it back.

“No! Please! Stop it!” John begged as he tried grabbing the model back.

“Hey!” Joy thundered as she stomped over to them. “Aren't you too old now to be picking on kids?!” She snapped with a disgusted look upon her furious face.

“Jeez it’s Owens, she’ll go all feral on us!” Alan yelped once he caught sight of her.

His words made Joy’s cheeks flush hot with embarrassment and she rubbed her left jaw, where the bandaid used to be. Then she glared at them, anger welling up within those narrowed honey brown eyes underneath the bill of the tan baseball cap.

“Hey, let's get out of here before she does something crazy,” Troy beckoned and the boys ran for it...but not before Benny dropped the model airplane onto the sidewalk, causing one of the plane’s wing snap right off.

 _‘Damn it,’_ Joy cursed under her breath as she watched John scramble to pick up his plane and the broken wing, a slight sniffle as his back was towards her.

“Sorry about that, I…” Joy groaned, causing John to whip around in surprise.

“Oh! It's you,” The boy gasped in recognition. No doubt from meeting her at the ranch when he had scraped his knee. He must have been so focused on getting the airplane back that he wasn’t even aware of Joy’s interference.

“I'm Joy,” she softly introduced herself. At least she acquainted herself more coherently than she had with Jacob. “I’m sorry about your airplane,” Joy added as she rubbed the back of her neck.

“My mom got it for me on my birthday,” John sighed as he checked if the two pieces would at least fit nicely back together.

“Oh, maybe she can help you glue it back together?” Joy inquired helpfully.

“She...isn't with us. Papa said she's gone to a better place,” John lamented softly.

 _‘Damn it Joy,’_ She cursed at herself inwardly as she tugged at the straps of her backpack. _‘Come on, you can do better than this!’_ John looked so forlorn as he tried keeping the wing of the plane stuck to the rest of the model. His crestfallen expression tugged at her aching heart.

 _‘When life gives you a problem, you solve it! That’s the Owens way!’_ And with the family motto ringing loudly in her brain, Joy finally made up her mind.

“Hey, wait here alright. I’ll be back in a flash!” Joy promised before she sprinted off. The Roosevelt Family’s Knick Knack store was nearby. And Joy ran for dear life as if she was being chased by a ravenous grizzly bear.

Body sweaty, cheeks flushed pink from exertion, and nearly out of breath, Joy returned. She found John sitting on a patch of grass, humming to himself as he turned his airplane over, studying it at all angles. “I...I’ve got...glueee…” Joy stammered between wheezes as she plopped down besides the boy.

“Why’s it called Krazy glue?” John asked as he watched Joy dab the viscous material onto the broken bits, then hold the pieces steadily together.

“Because you have to be crazy to use it,” Joy jested as she wiggled her eyebrows at him.

John snorted with a smile, especially at her dancing eyebrows. “Even I know that’s not it!” He added with a grin.

“Not sure why they call it Krazy, but this glue is really strong and dries super fast so you have to be really careful not to get it on your skin...or it will be stuck on it...forever!”

John laughed, then gasped with glee as Joy handed him back his fixed airplane. “There ya’ go!” She smiled triumphantly.

“Thank you Joy!” The boy exclaimed with utter happiness. His bright blue eyes were practically sparkled with delight at having such a treasured item whole again. Seeing him look so happy...it made Joy smile.

“Let's get you home okay,” Joy remarked as she tucked the Krazy glue into her backpack and pushed herself off of the grass.

“Okay,” John agreed as he followed suit; gingerly holding onto the model airplane.

Joy continued to walk with John, but stopped at the edge of his driveway. John was about to continue when he paused. Turning around he gave Joy a quick but silent hug, before whirling back around and sprinting up the driveway. Joy chuckled as she watched John open the door. But then Joy thought she heard a string of angry yelling and swearing, silenced once the door was closed.

_...Yelling and swearing in a deep bellowing voice…._

Joy blinked, and upon opening her eyes she found herself in darkness...no it was a dark room...

She was hiding...hidden away in a dark closest. While something happened on the other side…

_...Yelling and swearing in a deep bellowing voice closer this time….just outside..._

Then it suddenly stopped and another voice called out...

“No! Please! Stop it!” John begged tearfully.

John...he was going to hurt John now! Joy remembered and she was about to spring out of the door when two hands shook her shoulders.

Gasping, Joy leapt up, apparently right off a dark brown leather couch as she slid into a fighting stance, hands flat and ready to karate chop her for as adrenaline still pumped through her system. “Ah-Ha!” she bellowed in an attempt to be formidable.

A present day John was standing before her, in no immediate harm...actually he looked quite mirthful. “Dearest Joy, were you about to karate chop me?” He asked as his bright blue eyes sparkled with laughter, while he gave her a lopsided smile.

Still slightly disoriented, Joy looked about her. _Where was she? Oh yes, the Seed Ranch._

“Johnny! No, sorry. Just a bit of a nightmare,” The Deputy replied with a frown and shake of her fluffy haired head.

“I thought so, hence why I tried to wake you up,” John remarked as a frown graced his handsome face. Though it was quickly replaced with a look of concern as he inquired, “Are you alright?”

He looked genuinely worried. “Uh, yeah, I’m good,” Joy responded as she rubbed her sleeved forearms.

John nodded, before beckoning with hand back towards the couch. “Please, sit.” John gestured, as if he were a gracious host at a dinner party.

Once Joy plopped herself down on the plush leather sofa, John clasped his hands behind his back. "I was surprised when I heard you were the one at my front door, pleasantly surprised," John added warmly in his silken voice before an actual look of surprise struck him as his blue eyes widened. "Ah, where are my manners. One moment," He requested with a raised finger as he sauntered off somewhere out of Joy’s view.

In his absence, the Deputy’s eyes wandered about the ranch’s exterior. Vaulted ceiling with crisscrossing wooden beams, carpets upon the wooden floor, a bear skin at her feet. Joy recalled taking down a few troublesome bears down behind Gardenview Orchard.

John reappeared, carrying what looked like two tall glasses of iced lemonade. Now it was Joy’s turn to look surprised...pleasantly surprised.

John gently perched himself on the couch, quite close to Joy, before handing her the second glass. “Cheers,” he remarked as he titled his drink towards her.

“And, to what are we cheering to?” Joy asked with a raised brow as she clinked her glass against John’s.

“To new beginnings, Joy,” he remarked mysteriously with a playful smile.

“To new beginnings, huh,” Joy repeated before she took a sip. “Wow!” Joy remarked feeling absolutely floored. “This, this is just how I remember it!” Joy treasured another sip before gushing, “This is just like how Ma made it!” She tore her bewildered honey brown eyes from the glass to stare incredulously at the youngest Seed.

John was leaning comfortably into the sofa, avidly watching her. Upon her gaze, a small smile played underneath his thick well trimmed beard. “I may have watched her make it...quite a few times. And then helped her too.” John replied as he looked away, as if this was no big deal at all. John gazed down at his glass as he swirled the liquid about, his smile now widening with pride.

_There he was...Johnny...her Johnny..._

“How is your mother and father by the way?” John asked as his bright blue eyes peered back at her.

“Oh, Ma and Pa are doing well, both retired and as you can imagine, living on a ranch. They always loved the open space, but I think they miss it here. Nothing beats the wilds of Montana... _home_.” Joy was now staring down into her own swirling glass of lemonade, not privy to how John studied her. As if he was committing her to memory should she suddenly disappear again.

“They never spoke of it again, home?” He carefully asked before taking a sip.

“Nothing, no photos, _nothing…_ ” Joy remarked. Like they didn't want her to remember. The Fire, Jacob in coma, John and Joseph...John’s voice begging not to be hurt. Suddenly her face felt flushed and warm, while her breathing quickened.

“Joy? Are you alright?” John asked as he quickly shifted in his seat, leaning forward with a concerned expression. His other hand hovering towards her, though uncertain if he should touch her in this state.

“I...I just get a bit sick after Bliss, I think,” Joy replied as she focused on steadying her breath. After a few seconds, she felt the wave of panic subside, causing her to sigh deeply in relief.

Suddenly the radio buzzed, making the pair jump in surprise. “Sir, you’re needed in section 27,” a static ridden male voice informed the large room.

John sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Rest, and we will carry on when I return,” He remarked as he rose from the couch. Then he turned to face Joy, swooped down, and planted a gentle kiss upon her head.

The gesture made Joy pause in mid-sip, as John smiled warmly down at her, gave her a wink, then swaggered away. Joy’s honey brown eyes were practically entranced by those swaying hips. _‘A man shouldn’t be able to walk like that, especially Johnny!’_ The Deputy thought, feeling suddenly confused, as she held the glass to her mouth still in mid-sip. Frowning at her muddled thoughts, Joy downed the rest of her chilled tart lemonade like a shot.

Well once John returns, she’ll confess...though Joy still had no idea what she was confessing to? What terrible thing had she done that needed a confession? Nothing came to mind, she lived her life by the books, honestly and earnestly. Joy went straight into the police academy to serve the people of her neighborhood. She always had a strong desire for Justice. So, what was Joseph trying to save her from?

...Alan’s words echoed in her mind, _‘she’ll go all feral on us!’_

Frowning, Joy placed the empty glass upon the small table and surveyed the rest of the ranch’s exterior. There was a large bookshelf behind her, a pronghorn’s head looming above her between the shelves filled to the brim with books; though some of the titles made her brow rise questioningly. _“What would you do for 1 dollar!”; “Mumus’s Fashion Week”; “Almost Lost Almost Caught”; “The REAL Makentits”; “I Knew You Were Going To Say That”; “Popoche and the Big Market”; “Your Meat Is Neat”; “Blood Dragon 2: Darling Revengeance”;_ and _“OROS: A Mesolithic Paradise.”_

She shouldn’t judge...but Joy was totally judging. “Really John, how many copies of Mumu’s Fashion Week do you need?” She murmured into the large empty room.

Joy then noticed the other various stuffed animals, from a grey wolf nearby frozen in mid-leap, to a proudly posed cougar. There was even a large moose head mounted over the stone fireplace. John must have spent a lot of money sprucing this place up with a hunter’s lodge vibe.

Joy rose from the couch and began to snoop about. A side door caught her eye, maybe it was the bathroom? She could use one. Opening the door, Joy discovered the room was filled with model planes of various sizes and makes. So, John still liked...scratch that...loved planes. She recalled the small airplane model John had received from his mother. Apparently his passion had taken off ‘cause talk about collectables. Some of the models here were intricately made. Did John buy them all or did he craft a few of them?

There was a crimson AdjudiCor FBW-2 model that caught Joy’s eyes. Straying closer to its glass container she read a polished brass label that wrote, “Pack Hunter - Jacob Seed.” Joy chuckled at the memory of teasing Jacob that she wanted to fly next. Apparently she went to the right person as John seemed to be a connoisseur of aircrafts.

There was one model in particular based on being the most ubiquitous type in the whole collectible. It was a platinum to dark steel AdjudiCor FBW-2 with the white Eden’s Gate cross emblazoned upon its wings and tail. The silver label upon its case read, “The Affirmation - John Seed.”

“Affirmation,” Joy repeated and found herself giving it a wry smile.

Closing the door behind her with a gentle click, Joy noticed that John still hadn’t returned, so with a shrug she continued her exploration of the Seed Ranch.

Another door down the hallway caught her attention because Joy could feel a cool breeze was escaping from the cracks. Frowning slightly, the Deputy made her way towards it. A rounded rust streaked steel tunnel, that dug deep underground, met her gaze as Joy opened the door. The curved walls had painted words decorating it... _Gluttony, Lust, Sloth, Greed, Wrath, Pride, and Envy,_ repeating over and over like a dizzying mantra.

Was this John's bunker? Stealing her breath, Joy quietly descended the textured steel stairs. At least the words above the stoop above the door at the bottom said, _Welcome_. How nice…

Passing underneath it, Joy found herself within a great labyrinth of tunnels. The underground system was like Jacob’s, but Joy couldn’t shake off the feeling that John’s was...creepier. While Jacob's had the air of a military base, John's had more of a...ritualistic flair. There were more Eden’s Gate banners adorning the cold metal walls. While words like, _‘The Power of Yes,’_ and _‘Prepare for the Collapse,’_ were written upon others.

Joy came to a halt at a shrine dedicated to Joseph, his portrait propped under a white Eden’s Gate banner. A note scrawled upon a wooden sign read, _‘You belong here…’_ Joy scrunched her face at _The Father_ , before continuing onwards.

A large steel door was just down the hallway. The words, _‘Chosen Area Only’_ , painted upon it...and it was slightly ajar. As if pulled by an invisible force, Joy slipped through the crack, finding herself in what looks like a large prison of holding cells. There, in the second to last one was a familiar person.

“Joey!” Joy gasped as her eyes widened at the Deputy. She was sitting quite still upon a chair facing Joy. Joey’s mascara was still streaked on her face. She smelled as if she hadn’t showered since arriving that wretched day. And her mouth was still covered across with the duct tape. _Gods, all this time?!_

Joy tested the jail door and to her surprise, found it unlocked. Slipping inside she whispered, “Deputy Hudson, Joey?” But the woman looked out of it. Was Joey unconscious, sleeping, drugged? Joy tried shaking the woman’s shoulders and Joey groaned and stirred a bit at the stimulus. Gently, Joy pulled up Hudson’s eyelids to discover her pupils were tiny pinpricks. The effect one would have if on opioids... _or Bliss_...

“I’m really really sorry,” Joy preemptively apologized, before yanking off the duct off the woman’s mouth.

“Owwww,” Joey groaned, though it sounded weak. Was there water around?

Joy tested out Joey’s bindings. The straps similar to the ones that bound Pratt to the chair in Jacob’s Armory. There were locks, she needed a key. And her mind tugged at a certain memory. John sitting next to her upon the couch, wearing a leather necklace around his neck, a small silver key dangling from it.

“Uh uh uhhh,” tsked a silky voice from behind. John Seed had found her...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt that Grace’s dialogue in the game, when she states she’s broke, was really powerful. I wanted to include it here and finally be able to give her a hug. I hope I’m doing Grace justice in this story even though she isn’t a main character. She is just such a strong person.
> 
> Book titles are from screenshots I found taken in the Seed Ranch! I thought they were hilarious.
> 
> I hope I’ve woven the childhood nicely so it all feels natural. Any feedback and comments are super helpful and loved <3
> 
> John’s confession session is next...hoo-boyyy! We've got some angsty soul searching mixed with some hot'n'heavy bondage that's going to tempt Joy greatly...Lord have mercy!


	13. Just Say Yes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here it is, the confession scene with John. Confront the past, confess the sin, and atone. Yet, is everything going to pan out as planned? Will John actually torture Joy? Well, this event is going to go a bit differently than in the game. I hope I do the scene justice as John and Joy have a history. But, I also don’t want to sugar coat this interaction because of it. The Duncans have damaged John greatly; he’s been warped by pain and now it’s the best thing he knows. John believes in it and it yields results. But now it’s Joy before him…

John knew something was amiss when he returned to the living room, and was only met by the silent preserved animals.

_...Joy had left again…_

The youngest Seed remained frozen to the spot as the lifeless, yet judging, gazes of the taxidermied specimens eyed him from all sides. A near panic began to acidly bubble in the pit of his stomach, until the radio perked up. “Um, Baptist Seed, prisoner nine has an unauthorized visitor,” informed a static ridden male voice.

Prisoner number nine... _ah yes_ , Deputy Joey Hudson. John exhaled a deep sigh of relief for there was no doubt in his mind as to who her unauthorized visitor was. ‘ _Oh Joy, just can’t help yourself but be a heroine’._ That desire for justice just gets her into all sorts of trouble. John chuckled fondly as he ran an inked hand through his short slicked back hair.

It didn’t take long for the youngest Seed to make his way to the jail block; he knew the layout of his bunker like the back of his hand, and no, the layout was not tattooed there. John’s strides were long and purposeful, before he slowed down and crept silently into the steel gated prison.

Joy’s back was to him, completely unaware, and he momentarily watched as she furiously tugged upon the straps that wrapped around Deputy Hudson’s wrists. “Uh uh uhhh,” John tsked, just before he quickly stepped forward, grabbed a hold of Joy’s left arm, as he tugged for her to turn around and face him. Before Joy could protest, John’s hands were upon either sides of her waist as he hoisted her up into the air, then draped her over his shoulder, like a sack of potatoes.

Joy must have been momentarily stunned for she was quiet, for a few seconds, before her tantrum let loose. “Johnny! John! Put me down this instant!” Joy hotly demanded as her fists thumped against his back. She tried kicking about her legs, but John quickly pinned them to his body. Joy was more of a sack of mutinous potatoes...

“Now now,” John remarked with a lighthearted chuckle. “I can’t have you sauntering around and freeing my prisoners Joy.” He continued back down the hallway of the jail block, Joy still awkwardly struggling in his arms.

“And let Deputy Hudson go at once!” Joy added with a fierce snarl.

John felt her hands tug and bunch up the cloth of his sleek vest. “Joy, as much as I’m enjoying you trying to take off my clothes, you’re not in the position to make demands,” John hummed merrily, sharply contrasting his mood with Joy’s fury. Though he felt her instantly let go of his vest, _shame_.

However, this whole situation put the youngest Seed into quite a new position. With all of Joy’s wiggling and squirming, John became acutely aware of her round bottom and how tempting it was to smack it. To maybe appreciate a surprised squeak that would escape Joy? John nearly groaned as he caught his wandering salacious thoughts. First things first, _the confession..._

Finally they entered his workshop and John felt Joy’s body freeze up. She was no doubt surveying the macabre decoration. “What the fuck Johnny,” Joy gasped in horror over his shoulder. “What the holy fuck...” She whispered with a note of wavering terror.

They had just passed by a few steel meat hooks, upon which hung a man’s shirtless body, pinned and splayed out like the vitruvian man. The body wore a deer’s skeleton over the head, an Eden’s Gate symbol painted on the bone’s forehead, while the antlers were adorned with ivory Bliss flowers. More of the vine-like plant was wrapped around the man’s denim covered legs. _‘In the End, you will thank me,’_ was written on the wall behind the hanging figure, in thick shiny crimson blood.

“I just decorated the area,” John acknowledged as they walked past the corpse. “Adds a certain homage to my practice, doesn’t it?” The Baptist asked lightly, as if he were merely inquiring about the weather above ground.

“Uh, if you were going for a Hannibel Lector and Martha Stewart twist, you ‘nailed it’.” Joy groaned in disgust and John felt her head swivel away from the decorated corpse. The youngest Seed could only wonder what gruesome scenes Joy had seen during her cases...or was this the worst one?

The confession chamber was lit by a warm red glowing chandelier, bedecked by many deer antlers. Near the end of the room was a large heavy backed wooden armchair. Nearby it was a sturdy wooden workshop table, that had a steel tool box placed upon it. Meanwhile on the opposite side, a simpler desk stood closer to the main chair. Upon it was a lit lamp, a small steel bowl of clean water, and a yellow sponge at the ready. Other odd bits of furniture and tools surrounded the perimeter of the cold steel walls.

Once at the end of the room, John plopped Joy upon the large chair as gently as possible, though she looked ready to sprint off like a gazelle. “Ah-ah-ahh!” John reprimanded with a pointed finger. “Can’t have you escaping before you confess. Now hands behind the chair Joy,” he instructed good naturedly as he retrieved a black zip tie from the back pocket of his pants.

Instead, Joy’s bright honey brown eyes simply glared at him as she obstinately crossed her arms upon her chest. _‘Ah, that famous or should I say, infamous Owens stubbornness?’_ But, John couldn’t risk a flying fist during the confession.

John stroked his beard with his other hand, studying her with blue eyes bright with delight. Then the youngest Seed sighed theatrically, “Come now Joy, you don’t want me to punish you.”

He watched her entire body stiffen up at his words as her eyes widened, almost comically, while she gawked at him. The mere thought that he’d dare. John really had to hold in a chuckle. Instead he cleared his throat and remarked knowingly, “Joy, if you behave, you won’t have to worry about that, now will you?”

Joy glanced away with narrowed eyes. She muttered something darkly under her breath, that John couldn’t hear.

“Joy, my handsome face does not need to be on the receiving end of the nasty left hooks my followers have been subjected to. So, please be agreeable,” John sighed as he shook his head with slight exasperation.

“I’m always agreeable,” Joy grumbled with a frowning pout as she finally acquiesced and moved her hands behind the chair.

“Of course you are, dearest Joy,” John nearly purred as he sauntered towards her. He could have sworn that those honey brown eyes side glanced his swaying hips as he walked past the chair.

Gently, John bound Joy’s wrist together with the zip tie. For added effect, he ran his fingers along her soft skin, probably more touching than was required but...did Joy just shiver? _Oh, how...delicious..._

Joy quickly found her voice again, for as John returned to stand in front her she declared, “I’ve gotten out of zip ties before and I’ll do it again.” There was a mutinous gleam in her eyes.

“Oh? Is that a challenge darling?” John contested sweetly, as he arched a thick eyebrow at her; his own blue eyes glittering at her spirit. He had the feisty Joy Owens, tethered up, helplessly in front of him to do as he pleased. A thrilling shiver ran down his spine.

But instead of being goaded further, Joy stilled her tongue for a moment as she keenly studied him.“What happened Johnny, why did you become this way?” Joy carefully asked with a slight frown. John had to remind himself that the few precious memories she had recovered were of a sweet innocent little boy. So different in every way from the man standing before her now.

“An excellent question Miss Owens,” John agreed as he pointed a finger at her. A mysterious smile played upon his lips as he turned to walk over to a wooden table and toolbox. “You really want to know?” He asked as he paused before the workbench, peering questingly over at Joy. No one had asked before, not even Grace or Jerome.

There was a slight pause as Joy studied him cautiously before she replied, “Yes.”

 _Yes_...John felt a pleasing thrill rush through his body and the mere word, and his smile broadened.

“The Duncans happened,” John began as he turned to casually lean his back against the wooden table. “When father passed away, I was quickly sent to a foster home with Joseph. I then caught the eyes of the Patriarch of the great Duncan family based back in Georgia.”

“But, before I was swept away, Joseph gave me a few parting words, which I have never forgotten,” John remarked as he smiled softly, recalling that last treasured moment with Joseph, before they went their separate ways for many years. “He said a voice spoke to him the night father died. The voice revealed that the three of us would have a troubled road ahead, to be tested as he put it, but that we would one day reunite. Joseph added that it was by the Judge of God, that father met his end.”

“Well, that statement left quite an impression on little ‘ole Johnny,” John confided as he rested his palms upon the wooden desk. “Unfortunately, the Duncans did not like what the voice had said, and took it upon themselves to ensure that I would never fall prey to the evils that had plagued my family.”

He watched as Joy’s brows knitted together, but she remained absolutely silent and still, avidly listening to his every word. John felt pride bloom within his chest, for as a lawyer he had honed the art of storytelling and showmanship in the courtroom; but never had he imagined that one day he would have an enraptured Joy as an audience. Nonchalantly, John pushed himself off of the wooden workbench and strode to the center of the room, underneath the red glowing chandelier.

“It was through their...efforts, that I finally learned the power of Yes,” An enigmatic smile played upon his lips as a dark gleam shined in John’s blue eyes while he recounted that day. “One night they took me into the kitchen...and threw me on the cold tiled ground.” His voice started low, but began to rise to a crescendo as he continued, “I experienced pain after pain, after pain, after PAIN!” Then John paused, exhaling slowly as he kept his gaze connected with Joy’s, while raising up his tattooed hands so that they were outstretched widely at his sides. “And when I didn’t think I could take anymore; I did...”

John brought his hands together in front of him, forming a loose steeple with the tips of inked fingers. “Something broke free inside me Joy. I wasn’t scared...” And as John searched for his next words, he clasped his hands together. “...I was clear…” He unclasped his hands, spreading them outwards again for emphasis.

“Finally I looked up at them,” a smile spread upon his bearded lips as his eyes brightened, “...and I started to laugh, for all I could say was, _Yes_!” He smiled even more broadly as he relished the memory. “I wasn’t scared anymore Joy!” John stated happily as he began to walk towards her, a near fanatic look upon his handsome face. “No, no longer was I scared. And so, I spent my entire life looking for more things to say _Yes_ too.”

John began to roll up his long sleeves, revealing his heavily tattooed forearms. “I opened up every hole in my body and when those were filled, I created more.” The youngest Seed paused, before he rolled up the sleeve of his other arm, stating, “But, Joseph showed me just how shellfish I was being. Always receiving, always taking. The best gift isn’t the one you get...it’s the one you give. Yet, giving takes courage; and Joy, I know you have a lot of courage,” John exclaimed as he shook a pointed finger at her.

“I know you have the courage to own your sin,” John stated confidently as his pointed finger turned into a clenched fist. “To etch the sin onto your flesh, carry its heavy burden, and when you have endured…when you have truly begun to atone…to cut it out like a cancer and display it for all to see,” And as John reverently talked, he unbuttoned the front his silken navy blue shirt, slowly exposing his own sin, _**SLOTH**_ , engraved upon his chest and crossed out once he had conquered it.

Hands bound behind the chair’s back, she just stared up at the youngest Seed with her mouth hanging open. Joy’s eyes had grown wide with realization of what John spoke of as her gaze roved upon the shimmering red scarred skin upon John’s chest… _Mortification of the flesh._ A way to impart catharsis through pain, thus freeing oneself. This was what spurned John the Baptist on. What he imparted upon the willing, and unwilling alike.

Quickly John leaned down to be on level with those honey brown eyes, placing his hands on the chair’s armrests, causing the chair to groan at their combined weight. He stared, unblinking, as if he was trying to penetrate her soul. “You understand now, don’t you Joy? That this trial will make you swim across an ocean of pain. But I promise you, once you emerge, you will be free,” John declared with all the assurance he could call forth. _Case closed..._

Joy, mouth still agape, blinked, breaking the spell John was trying to cast upon her. “You won’t hurt me Johnny. I know you, and you would never harm me,” Joy countered strongly as she stared defiantly back at him.

John’s confident smile faltered at her words. His blue eyes searched hers, before they paused and looked down at the bunker’s floor. “I would never harm you Joy,” John confessed quietly to the ground.

Then his blue eyed gaze hardened as he looked back up at her, while slowly reaching out his tattooed hand, tracing his right index finger softly along her left jawline. “But…” John continued as he let his thumb graze along Joy’s lucious lower lip. “…to save you, I will,” He whispered softly as Joseph’s voice echoed within his mind; _‘She must confess her sin - this is your duty.’_

* * *

John’s hand fell away, leaving Joy stunned at his words...and at his touch. “Now,” The youngest Seed remarked as he straightened up and clasped his hands together. “How about we play a little game.” John didn’t form it as a question, as he dragged over another wooden chair and parked it right in front of her.

“The game is called, Confession,” John added eagerly as he sat down upon the chair, leaning slightly back while he crossed his legs. It would have been like they were just going to have a casual conversation...in a really creepy macabre chamber...with one person’s hands bound behind their back. _What a fun game so far..._

John raised up his tattooed right hand, splaying out his fingers so that Joy could see the words from his index finger all the way to his pinky. John began to clearly read each sin off, “Superbia -pride, Invidia -envy, Ira -wrath, Tristitia -sloth, Avaritia -greed, Gula -gluttony, and Luxuria -Lust.” He then clasped his hands together and placed them comfortably upon his lap. John tilted his head questioningly at Joy as he casually asked, “I’m curious as to which one of these sins you think you are?”

 _‘Pride, envy, wrath, sloth, greed, gluttony, and lust’..._ “I’m none of these John,” Joy replied defiantly as she lifted her chin at him.

“Oh, you are one of them, most especially,” John countered back with a smile playing underneath his thick dark beard.

“Ughhh, why can’t you just tell me?” Joy groaned, feeling quite exasperated. She even wanted to rub her hands all over her face in irritation. Seriously, did John really have to bind her hands for this? A good punch in the gut may do him wonders...

“First of all, this is supposed to help you...self reflect,” John stated with a nonchalant wave of his hand. Then his blue eyes hardened and dangerously narrowed upon her. “Secondly, don’t mock my confessions Joy,” the youngest Seed warned as his expression darkened, making her skin crawl. This...the man before her now was John Duncan...it was like a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

“Nothing I do here will mean anything if you won’t accept it, own up to it, and care about it,” John continued to strongly advise. “Atonement is nothing without suffering, suffering is nothing without pain, pain is nothing without confession, confession is nothing without sin, and you, my dearest Joy, have sinned. Ohhh have you sinned,” John intoned and his bright blue eyes suddenly sparkled as he finished. _The excitement for her confession._

“Why are you so adamant to have me confess?!” Joy growled angrily as she tugged at her bindings. It wasn't exactly on her to do list to suffer through a lecture!

Suddenly the excited blue fire in John’s eyes was extinguished, and he quickly looked away before divulging, “Because Eden’s Gate will be closed to you.” While he rubbed his hands slowly together.

“Well whoop-de-doo!” Joy sang loudly as she rolled her honey brown eyes. “I didn’t want to join Eden’s Gate in the first place so excuse me for not worrying about it.” Joy scoffed as she leaned back her head upon the chair’s hard back, as she gazed up at the steel beamed ceiling.

But, John was quiet...too quiet, which was not like him at all. Joy looked back at the youngest Seed, noting how he appeared very sullen; as if there was more at play here. Suddenly, Joy remembered John looking just as somber...at the riverbank, the night of the cleansing. “What did Joe say to you that night, when we were at the river’s shore?” Joy asked softly, though her brows knitted together in worry.

“Joy, this is not about me, this is all about you,” John countered with a slight frown as he continued to not make eye contact with her.

“What did Joe say? Please tell me,” Joy repeated and even though she was bound to the chair, her voice was strong and beseeching.

John closed his eyes tight, turned his head back towards Joy, and finally gazed at her as he whispered, “It is my duty to make you confess and atone. If I do not fulfill my role, then the Gates of Eden will be shut to the both of us.”

Joy’s posture went rigid as her honey eyes widened at John’s words. _Joe...what the hell?! Pulling your own brother around like this? You were his caretaker, John’s crusader...what have you become?_

Drawing herself up upon the chair, Joy declared firmly, “I’ll do it.”

John momentarily gawked at her with surprise, before he slightly shook his head. “Joy, leave me out of this, this is for your own salvation,” John sighed. “Don’t, don’t do it for me,” He remarked with a slight frown upon his handsome face.

“I may not care if the gates are closed to me, Johnny. But, Joe shouldn’t turn you away, just because...I’m stubborn." Joy replied morosely. Again this whole ordeal with Eden’s Gate was becoming confusing and convoluted.

Suddenly John’s mouth fell open, his chin threaten to hit the ground. The youngest Seed seemed to be looking at her as if she had grown another head...and maybe she did after all that Bliss…

“That’s it Joy!” John exclaimed as he jumped out of his chair, making Joy shrink back in hers in alarm.

“What?” She asked with a bewildered look upon her face. This whole confession was a wild ride upon the see-saw of emotions, and Joy just had no idea what to expect next!

“Your stubbornness,” John announced as he pointed an accusing finger at her. “It’s holding you back from trying new things. We need to broaden your mind,” John tapped his head for emphasis as he continued with a renewed spirit. He then fished something out of his back pocket, that turned out to be a long shiny black satin ribbon.

“Johnny, why are you walking around with a pocket full of zip ties and black satin ribbons?” Joy suspiciously inquired with an arched brow.

The youngest Seed’s only reply was a small mischievous smile that played upon his thickly beared lips. There was also a delighted sparkle in his bright blue eyes.

“Ugh, Johnny, you deviant!” Joy groaned as she shook her fluffy haired head. She did not want to know where else that ribbon had been!

“Come now Joy, let us ease up on your stubbornness and try something new,” John practically purred as he stood before her, leaned down, with a devious smile dancing upon his lips, before Joy’s vision went black. She felt John’s hand gently wrap the stain around her head.

“Wait! Blindfolding me?” Joy objected loudly.

“Sensory deprivation, Joy,” Came John's deep voice from somewhere above her head.

“You’re just teasing me, Johnny,” Joy huffed, feeling absolutely peeved at the sudden darkness.

What she didn’t see was how John appraised her. How he bit his lower lip at the sight before him. John placed his hands on the back of the chair as he leaned forward, whispering into Joy’s ear, “Oh, if this was for pleasure, Joy, then I would be fully teasing you before the main course.” His mouth was so close to her earlobe, that the soft bristles of his bread teased her skin. John straightened up and noticed how a pink flush dusted her cheeks. He was delighted to have such an effect on her.

“Unfortunately, dearest Joy,” John theatrically bemoaned. “We are on a mission here.” And John returned to his chair. “We are going to take a stroll down memory lane. No Bliss, just you, and me. But, I can lead you only so far Joy, you’ll have to do the rest…”

“Fine,” Joy responded resolutely and confidently, as she straightened her back; readying for what was to come.

“There’s the Joy I know,” John whispered with a fond smile.

“December 24th, 1998. Where did you go that night?” John asked lightly as he became comfortable in his chair by crossing his legs. Taking care not to brush against Joy’s...at least for now.

Joy released a loud snort. This felt like a weird reverse police interrogation, for instead of a bright light, Joy was left in the dark. “You’ll have to do better than that Johnny, I don’t have a great sense of dates with my memories.” Joy revealed with a tilt of her blindfolded head.

“Fine,” And John began to paint the scene within Joy’s blank mind. “Christmas Eve, just after a couple of weeks of snow. Jacob...he is still in the hospital in a coma. But the doctors finally said he was doing better,” John’s voice began to fade away…

“...I remember…” Joy whispered. “It was the only good news I had received in a while,” She gulped before continuing to recount her memory quietly and cautiously. “When the barn was on fire...sparks were tossed into the air...my house...it went up in flames too...we had lost our home...we lost Luca...he died from smoke inhalation.” Joy took a steadying breath. She had only learned of the aftermath once she left the hospital. It had cleared up her confusion as why they were staying at the small motel at Falls End, but left Joy even more devastated. Her dear loyal and ever-loving Luca, _gone_.

John remained quiet, and as still as a statue as he listened intently to Joy. He watched as she inhaled a ragged breath, swallowed, and pushed further into the memory.

“I was feeling lonely that day so I went...I went to your house…” Joy remembered that the driveway was empty save for the dust of freshly powdered snow. Joy wore a thick white knitted sweater and black snow pants. A black winter trooper hat, with a white snowflake pattern, kept her head and ears warm, and matched nicely with her snow boots.

“I rang the doorbell…and Joe answered,” Joy narrated, not mentioning how wary Joseph looked at first, until realizing it was Joy at the door. He wore an oversized thick black woolen sweater and baggy light blue denim jeans, his feet were bare.

“I had brought the newest issue of the Spiderman comic. I thought it would be nice to read it together. I hadn’t seen you two much during winter break and...I missed you two,” Joy confessed with a small sad smile.

 _‘I missed you to Joy,’_ Joseph had replied gently after an affectionate hug. Though Joy still felt that her dear friend seemed slightly skittish.

 _‘Alright, but just for a while,’_ Joe stated as he let Joy enter the small warm house, closing the front door quickly behind her.

“I went upstairs to his bedroom and we sprawled out on the floor, reading the comic,” Joy continued to describe her memory. How Joseph’s room was small and quite bare apart from a brass metal bed with blue toned quilt, a wooden bookcase with school books, a desk upon which perched a lamp, and on the other wall was a small closet, the door closed. They had laid their bellies on a tan shag carpet that covered the oak wooden floors.

“You were in your bedroom taking a nap…” Joy stated.

No wonder, as John didn’t recall Joy’s arrival, just the aftermath of that day...

“I was enjoying our time together. It was nice to just hang out again. It made me feel like everything would be okay, eventually,” Joy reminisced. She and Joseph laid side by side, taking turns to turn the page of the comic book once the other was done reading. They giggled, gasped, and cringed as Peter Parker’s newest escapade unfolded at their fingertips.

“Then...then he came home,” Joy’s breath hitched as she spoke. Mr. Seed returned from work...

John’s bright blue eyes widened, his hands gripping his thighs, but still he made no sounds.

“Joe begged me to go hide in the closet,” She whispered before inhaling deeply.

 _‘Joy! Joy just hide in the closet, please just trust me,’_ Joe begged as he flung its door open and urged her inside. _‘Stay quiet and don’t leave it, please,’_ Joe implored as he closed the door, leaving Joy in the darkness between a few hanging clothes.

“Your father came into the room and…” Finally Joy’s voice faltered as a buzzing sound began to fill her mind, drowning out what she was sure was yelling and swearing in a deep bellowing voice…

“Open that door Joy,” John suddenly whispered into the quiet steel chamber. “You have to confront what is on the other side,” he gently prompted.

“I...I…” Joy stammered as her breathing quickened and her pulse raced. “I don’t want to…” Joy’s voice quaked and her heart beated painfully against her straining ribcage.

“You have to Joy,” John’s voice beseeched her to open the door.

“I can’t…” Joy breathed a quivering note through her tightening throat.

“And I can’t free you if you wont!” John retorted, his voice rising as he urged Joy onwards. She was close, oh so close!

“Then leave me damned!” Joy yelled back, topping John’s own voice with her frightened rage.

Suddenly, a warm hand cradled her chin, soft fingers, so gentle...

“Why can’t you do this? The Joy I know steamrolls through any obstacle that dares to get in her way. What’s stopping you this time?” John asked kindly with genuine concern.

Joy squeezed her eyes tightly shut behind the blindfold, willing her throat to loosen so she could gasp out, “I’m scared Johnny, I’m scared of what I’ve done!”

John’s hand fell away. For the first time during a confession, he was at a loss at what to do. The Duncans never gave him kindness, never showed him sympathy, and never relented. They just kept hurting him over and over...this world just kept hurting him over and over, leaving wounds to never heal...

 _‘But Joy, she had never hurt me.’_ And with that thought, John gave in, just a little for her sake…

John quickly stood up and undid the blindfold. He was met by confused, shimmering overbright honey brown eyes. “You’re Wrath, Joy. I didn’t realize it back then. But it’s unmistakable now. You’ve always been Wrath…” John stated, knowing that he shouldn’t have given in...

“No,” Joy breathed as her brows knitted together in despair. But the voices in her head whispered otherwise.

_“Jeez it’s Owens, she’ll go all feral on us!”_

_“Hey, let's get out of here before she does something crazy.”_

The bandaid on her left jaw...didn’t she once say something to Joseph about it? _“As long as you’re not a bully...I won’t bite.”_

* * *

John shook his head and sighed. He had given, it felt good... _to give_...but he couldn’t be distracted, Joy needed to own her sin and atone. The youngest Seed stalked away towards his wooden workbench and opened up the metal toolbox.

“We can’t leave it at this Joy, I shouldn’t have let that slip. You have to remember, you have to confront your fear and own your sin,” John remarked as he pulled out the long handled steel rod, with an ultra fine point. _The Flesh Carver._ How many times has it given him success; Mary May was one of the most difficult cases...now there was Joy’s stubbornness to contend with. But with the pain, there would be release... _atonement_. It was the way. It was the only way...

Holding the flesh carver aloft in his hand, John turned to gaze back at Joy, noting how wide-eyed she had become with horror. “All you have to do is say _Yes,_ Joy,” He instructed calmly, a determined glint in his blue eyes. “And say it like you mean it, I’ll know otherwise; I know you too well, Joy. So say it, just...say it…”

But, the sight of Joy made him pause. _Tears…shit._ “No, now, you just can’t do that Joy. It won’t stop me,” John began to angrily assert as more tears trailed down her cheeks while she stared back at him. John couldn’t slip again, he had his duty to Joseph. _Dammit!_ The Baptist was in control, he was always in control, and Joy’s tears couldn’t be his undoing.

“You can’t do this, Johnny,” Joy whispered as tears streamed down her face. She shook her head slightly, still maintaining eye contact with him.

John’s hand gripped the handle of the flesh carver painfully tight. “Stop it Joy!” John commanded as he began to pace back and forth to work off the frenzy swelling inside him.

But Joy pressed on through her tears, “The Johnny I know wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

“Shut up! That Johnny is gone and you know it!” John snarled as he pointed the fleshcarver directly at her chest.

“Johnny, this has to end. You can’t hurt anymore people,” Joy urged, her voice growing stronger with each word.

And as _‘Yes’_ held power for John, Joy’s use of his nickname held power for her. The youngest Seed could feel his control quickly slipping away...and it enraged him. “Stop calling me that!” John slammed the flesh carver into the wooden table, impaling it through the wooden plank.

“You don’t understand, you don’t believe, and you don’t care!” John seethed through bared teeth, for he was on the last few strained sinews of control... _that just snapped_. John’s outburst exploded as he flung the wooden desk into the steel wall, sending tools from the metal box flying out, causing a jarring cacophony of clanging metal.

“I care Johnny!” Joy implored even as John let loose a derisive laugh at her words. “Maybe I don’t understand and hell I don’t believe in Eden’s Gate, but I care about you so fucking much Jonny, and you know it!” She spoke earnestly from the heart as she leaned forward, straining against her bindings from how badly she wanted to reach out to him. To put her arms around him and let him know... _he is loved no matter what..._

Bright blue eyes met honey brown from across the room. Both their chests heaving as they breathed heavily into the silent chamber.

“And that’s why you can’t hurt me,” Joy gently acknowledged as she blinked away the tears.

John’s fists were clenched so tight that his nails dug painfully into his skin. Joy was right...he couldn’t hurt her...

John approached the empty chair and slumped into it. He felt tired and overwhelmed. Never had he had a confession unravel into such a taxing mess. And now that he couldn’t hurt Joy, couldn’t use pain to get the results, how was he suppose to fulfill his duty? Joseph will be disappointed and cast him out.

“I don’t know how to continue Joy,” John found himself confessing before her. “Pain is all I know,” He finally admitted before heavily rubbing his tattooed hand across his face. “Pain is my purpose,” John whispered behind his hand. He felt so wrathful...warped…and worthless.

“You know that’s not true, Johnny,” Joy countered in a gentle voice. “The Duncans...fuck, they were monsters, but pain is not your purpose and it’s not all you know of. What about the love for your brothers?” Joy prompted helpfully, kindly.

John stared down at his inked hands in his lap before remarking calmly, “I love them, dearly...I remember feeling quite bad when we placed the flower crowns you made for them, on their heads; turned out Joseph was allergic.”

Joy remembered as she gaped at him. “Oh god, Joe’s skin broke out in red itchy hives.”

John chuckled as he rubbed his hands together. “At least the flower crown I made for you didn’t make you puff up,” he added, though his eyes still gazed down upon his tattooed hands, not wanting to make eye contact.

“Instead, I felt like a Princess,” Joy smiled warmly, and her words made John to finally look up and meet her affectionate gaze. The tears had subsided, though they left shimmering streaks upon her cheeks. Her honey brown eyes were still slightly red and moist.

“I remember your model airplane,” Joy added fondly.

“You ran all the way to a store just to get glue to fix it. I thought you were going to pass out on the lawn,” John recalled admiringly. “I now have a whole room of them,” he added in a tone full of pride.

“I know,” Joy remarked with a small smile.

“You know?” John asked with a slight tilt of his head as he leaned forward in his chair.

“I may have been snooping around,” Joy sheepishly confessed with lowered lashes.

“Last time I snooped, I was chased by a feathered menace, learned my lesson that day,” John chuckled at the memory.

“Ah yes, Myrtle, the tiny terror,” Joy added in a reminiscing tone as she softly smiled. “That’s how we met, you tripped and scratched up your knee...”

“...And you kissed my knee to make me feel better,” John breathed before he swallowed thickly, his adam’s apple bobbing as he realized that this was _the moment_...

Joy hadn’t realized how near John had leaned in. His lips were so close, and John must have realized this too for he paused in their recollections. His bright blue eyes focused on her slightly parted lips.

And then John leaned in further, his hot breath ghosted her skin...

...but Joy turned her head slightly away, avoiding his lips as she whispered, “I can’t.”

“Can’t what?” John asked, as he stayed still, trying to decipher her troubled expression.

“I can’t give you what you want Johnny,” Joy breathed as she looked away from him.

“And what is it that I want?” He asked carefully, not pulling away from her.

Joy was suddenly dumbstruck as she just blinked and turned her head back to stare at him, feeling slightly bewildered.

John arched a brow. “Hmmm,” He murmured as his bright blue eyes studied her. Suddenly Joy felt like she was being cross-examined for a court case. “You're tempted...but can’t have…”

 _‘Dammit he was good,’_ Joy cursed inwardly as she worried her bottom lip and looked away again. She kept her gaze trained at the shattered wooden workbench. Joy knew she would be in trouble if she looked back at John...

“What’s holding you back...from this,” John waved a tattooed finger from himself to her and then back to him. “...To even have just a taste?” John whispered thickly and warmly. “I’m right here Joy. Closest I’ve ever been, what’s holding you back?” He purred seductively into her ear.

But, Joy breathed one word that instantly stilled him.

“Jacob…”

* * *

The silence was deafening...

John slowly leaned back into the chair, as his blue eyes glossed over, mind racing through memories of Jacob and Joy. He had never seen them kiss, hold hands, maybe hug here and there, and lean on each other’s shoulders, but Joy did that with Joseph too.

_No, it was so subtle...little details here and there..._

How Joy’s honey brown eyes searched for Jacob when she entered the barn, and then brightened at the sight of him. She would tuck her hair back behind her ear and smile shyly, when he took notice. Joy’s lingering gaze at his back as Jacob walked away. How she would visit him at the hospital every day...and the music box that mysteriously appeared.

How had he not realized this! Jacob never said anything, and neither did she. But…“All this time?” John questioned quietly.

Joy finally made eye contact with him. “Yes,” she whispered with an unwavering gaze.

 _Yes._ Even with Joy’s hands bound, she managed to sucker-punch him in the gut. The taste in John’s mouth turned sour. It was unfair...life was not fair...he never even had a chance?!

No, John still had a chance...to see if he could change her mind. Lust is a sin, but, for this moment, let him be damned as well. And spurned by that thought, John quickly leaned forward again, catching the sumptuous lips between his.

“Johnn-” But Joy was silenced by a fiercely passionate kiss. As if tomorrow may never come, John savored all he could now as he tasted and nipped her. _Did she just moan?_ John wasn’t sure because his mind was in awe. It was better than he imagined; Joy’s honeyed sweetness, the ever softness, and now that it was a forbidden act, it was... _electrifying_.

They broke apart, and John, breathing heavily had a cheshire cat smile broadening across his lips. “Tell me you felt that spark!” He whispered thickly, excitedly.

Her lips were deliciously reddened and swollen from his hungry kiss. Her eyes misty, before realization set in, and a look of absolute shock fell upon her face. Then, it quickly gave way to anger as she tried to headbutt him like a wild ram! Thank god he had bound her, though…“That wasn't a no Joy!” John sang playfully as his baby blue eyes sparkled at the thrill.

Cheeks flushed pink, chest heaving, and eyes overbright, Joy began hurling curses at him, “Dammit Johnny! You, you bastard! How could you! You asshole!” As she wriggled angrily against her binding.

Excitement still pulsed through him. “Now! There's that wrath,” John remarked, before his expression grew contemplative, and his selfish desire settled down. “Heh, just a strategy to shake that wrath out of you. You know that kiss doesn’t mean anything Joy, so calm down,” John added with a nonchalant wave of his inked hand, as he played it off that it had all been just a performance for the result.

But it stung, ached, burned, saying that... _lie_...This was a new type of pain, one that John would actually have to learn how to hide, to lock away deep within himself...

Yet, his words had sparked something in Joy, as a look of revelation sparkled in those honey brown eyes. “Take me to your old house!” Joy suddenly blurted out.

John just stared at with a bewildered expression upon his handsome face. “Why?” He asked with a slight frown.

“I have to get past that door. I think I can...if I’m physically there,” Joy explained. It made sense, at least it did in her head.

John carefully studied Joy, and she did not shirk away from his gaze. As a perceptive lawyer, the youngest Seed had become an expert at identifying lies. But, after peering into Joy’s earnest face, there was no hint of dishonesty, and deep down John trusted her...he had always trusted her.

“Very well,” John remarked with a nod as he stroked his thick beard. “I’ll arrange transport,” He added just as he was about to rise from the chair.

“But, wait…” Joy quickly asserted, causing the youngest Seed to pause and arch a questing eyebrow at her.

Joy eyed the small silver key, hanging on the leather necklace that laid upon John’s scarred chest. “If I do get down to the bottom of this, you have to let Deputy Joey Hudson go.”

At Joy’s ‘demand’, John’s other brow raced up his forehead to meet the first. A give and a take, what a convenient arrangement; the Deputy in exchange for fulfillment of his duty. “Very well, you have my word,” John agreed with a bow of his sleek haired head.

Then from his other back pocket, John pulled out what looked like slim folded metal that shimmered opalescent blue. With a deft flick of the wrist, John revealed it to be a butterfly knife.

Joy eyed the blade warily, causing John to chuckle. “Come now Joy, I think we’ve set in stone here, of all places, that I cannot hurt you,” John remarked with an amused look as he sauntered past her, and used the knife to cut the zip tie with one swift slice.

John watched Joy rub her wrists gingerly, as he stowed away the butterfly knife. The zip tie had left red angry linear welts along her skin. The sight tugged at his heart...John did end up hurting her.

Sighing, he walked over to the other desk where he grabbed the bowl of water and small sponge. Settling himself back into his chair, the youngest Seed dipped the sponge and wrung the excess water back into the bowl before he prompted, “Give me your hands Joy.”

Obediently, but with a curious expression, Joy outstretched her hands towards him. She slightly tilted her head as she watched him work.

Silently, John gently dabbed the cool water upon the tops of her wrists. Then he motioned for her to turn them over so that he could care for the insides of her wrists. He didn’t have to look at Joy to know she was studying him closely. Those honey brown eyes trying to unravel him as if he were some sort of puzzle.

But, if John wanted to hide an emotion, then he could, exceptionally well. Though, John did wonder what Joy’s thoughts were, yet he didn’t dare ask. It was painfully obvious what a fragile moment this was between them and the youngest Seed didn’t want to... _complicate it_.

Still not making eye contact, John calmly asked, “How does it feel now?” He placed the bowl back onto the table with the sponge.

“Better,” Joy softly remarked before she realized that John had reached out his palms, beckoning her to place her hands upon them. Gently, Joy laid her hands in his warm ones, hoping that he wouldn’t feel how fast her pulse was.

She looked up from their hands to study John again. The soft expression upon his handsome face melted her heart. It was during this quiet moment that Joy realized just how similar she and the youngest Seed were; both wrathful, emotional, and caring...messes.

John appraised Joy’s skin, and felt slightly relieved to see that inflammation was already subsiding. If this was his reaction to causing small welts upon Joy...then if he had really hurt her, if John had gone through with the flesh carver...he was sure that he would never be able to forgive himself...and Joy would have surely been lost to him.

“You lied to me Johnny,” Joy stated gently. But, her words were like a sharp knife to John’s gut.

He froze, his pulse quickening. John had not even realized that his thumbs had been gliding across the welts, as if he was trying to massage them away. “Lie to you? Why dearest Joy, I’ve done no such thing,” John smiled with the ease of a seasoned showman as he quickly released her hands.

“About the kiss…” Joy added as her soft hands now reached out to his. Grasping them warmly, tenderly. “That it didn’t mean anything,” she whispered as her honey brown eyes searched his surprised blue ones.

What could he say?

_...She would never love him that way..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! I hope I did John justice! I tried to do a lot of character studying as I wrote this up. And I pray that the Confession was done well in the context of their childhood friendship and feelings for one another.
> 
> And, damnnnn have I dug myself into quite a hole with this fic! So, whose team Jacob and whose team John?! Team Both (Polyseed)?!?! 
> 
> I’ve gotta know!! Please please leave a comment so I can tally up the current favorite pairing! May impact how the story unfolds!!


	14. The Darkness behind the Door

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowza! Thank you so much for your votes and supportive comments of this story! 🗳️ The results are: Team Polyseed with a whopping 9 solid votes! Team Jacob with a tally of 2 votes. The people have spoken and your responses have helped me figure out how the romance(s) will unfold. I will do my best to make both John and Jacob justice to feel equally loved, plus a twist on how they find out about the other!! 😲 
> 
> ...But first, Joy has to open that door and finally confront the past. A warning dear reader, there will be heavily implied child abuse and violence. I will not fully describe it, though it may be triggering. Thus, I noted the part with ‘xxxxx’ lines so you can skip it if needed.

The red hued chamber was silent, save for the beating hearts of two lost souls…

Joy let her gaze fall down to her tender hold upon John’s inked hands as she searched for the right words to say. She knew deep down that Johnny’s kiss meant something to him, even though he tried brushing it off as a ruse to rile her wrath.

As for Joy...she had felt it, that _spark_...

Joy couldn’t deny it if she was being honest with herself. But...she loved Jacob, always had and always will. Yet Johnny had awakened something deep within her heart when their lips met. He had tasted her as if she were his last meal, and nipped hungrily like a starved man. With lips still tingling and warm...Joy’s eyes looked back up at the youngest Seed.

If Johnny knew her as well as he proclaimed, then he’d quickly figure it out...

And just as Joy suspected, John was reading her as if she were an open book. The youngest Seed watched as a variety of emotions danced across her contemplative face. Realization, guilt...lust...now that one made John bite his tongue.To have Miss Owens look at him with desire gleaming in those honeyed brown eyes was a mark off the bucket list.

Joy was contemplating her next move as her lips parted. "Johnny I," she began as she let her right hand slip away from Johnny’s and slowly reach up to cup the left side of his face, treasuring the softness of his dark beard as she slowly leaned towards him.

John’s baby blue eyes widened and his heartbeat quickened at the adrenaline fueled question, _was Joy reciprocating?_ Admitting that she had feelings for him too? John's confession chamber was certainly living up to its name! The warmth of hope blossomed in his chest as Joy’s hand cradled his cheek, tenderly. John felt her release his other hand...his body thrummed with excited anticipation as Joy drew closer, and the unbidden thrill of desire made him moisten his lips with a glide of his tongue.

Suddenly a Peggie sprinted down the hallway yelling out at the top of his lungs, “Sir! Baptist Seed Sir! Are you alright? We haven’t heard from you and are worried…”

Shocked into a flight or fight response, Joy leapt forward, crashing into John and causing him to topple backwards in his chair. With a squeak, Joy fell on top of him, leading to a scene in the confession chamber that the Peggie found... _highly scandalous._

Joy was draped over John’s supine body, her hands bracing her up above his head, causing the face of the righteous Baptist...to be smothered by her black tank top covered breasts.

“OH my god!” Joy squeaked as she scrambled off of Johnny as fast as humanly possible, while the Peggie silently gawked, his shotgun held loosely in his hands. Meanwhile, the youngest Seed continued to just lay there on his back, legs still draped up and over the chair, while a look of dazed contentment spread upon his handsome face.

"Sir?” The man began uncertainty as John was now grinning broadly from ear to ear. “Are you alright?" The Peggie questioned awkwardly.

“Everything is wonderful,” John sighed happily as he gazed backwards with his chin tilted. Then he looked forward, lifting his slightly tousled haired head up as his gaze locked with Joy’s. “I quite like it rough anyway,” John added as his bright blue eyes sparkled deviously at her.

The Peggie slowly backed away as he murmured, “Uh, understood...sir.”

Flushed with embarrassment Joy groaned, “I’m going to go feed myself to a cougar!” As she pressed her hands against her burning red cheeks.

“But Joy, you have a hungry animal right here,” John remarked as he pointed to his face with a playful wink.

“Johnny please!” Joy moaned as she covered her bright tomato red face with her hands.

 _‘Ohhhh she is delightful to tease’,_ John thought as he rose to his feet. And while he didn’t press Joy further, the youngest Seed felt elated as her earlier action meant he still had a chance. And John was willing to wait once her memory was dealt with. Having a face full of Joy’s glorious cleavage was definitely enough to tide him over, for now...

The two walked silently out of the confession chamber, though as they passed by John’s main decoration, Joy found her voice. “You're taking down the vitruvian corpse,” she demanded as she glared at the deer skulled figure.

A light huff escaped John’s nose before he remarked, “I've forgotten how bossy you can be…” Then a thought occurred to him, “Are you planning to make my bunker yours?” He chanced a glance at his walking partner.

“Why would I want that?” Joy questioned with a slight frown.

“For the Collapse,” John stated in an obvious tone.

“You really believe Joe?” She asked with an arched brow.

“Yes,” John declared fervently with his favorite word. Though from his periphery, he could tell that Joy clearly didn’t believe in Eden’s Gate, in his brother’s cause. “Joy, Joseph has never been wrong. The Voice has prophesied many things and most of them have come to past,” John explained, his voice thick with conviction.

“Oh yeah, like what?” Joy asked, her voice genuinely curious.

“Well our reunion as brothers,” John began.

“Well, that was going to happen with the strong bond between you, Jacob, and Joe,” Joy rationalized with an unimpressed shrug of her shoulders.

John continued, unfazed by her stubbornness, “He prophesied that you'd come back.”

“I have a suspicion he orchestrated it to happen,” Joy added with a hint of conviction in her voice. She just needed proof...

“Or maybe you need to ease up on the stubbornness again and consider the what if, _what if he’s right_?” John added with one thick eyebrow arched at her.

This time Joy opened her mouth, then closed it like a fish. She mulled his words over. If Joseph was right about all this. Was his means justified? Saving as many souls as possible, even if they are unwilling, for the Collapse?

Silently the pair ascended the tunnel's steps, exiting back into the warm environment of the Seed Ranch. Nearby stood the Peggie from earlier. After another round of profuse apologies from the follower, John ordered, "Just get The Affirmation ready."

“Get The Affirmation ready?” Joy repeated feeling confused. “Wait, it’s not just a model plane?” She gawked, looking at John with surprise.

A proud and excited expression lightened the youngest Seed’s face, “Ohhh dearest Joy, you are in for a treat.”

* * *

Joy strapped herself in the cushioned cockpit’s seat, just behind John, though they were back to back. A headset was secured upon her head, its microphone hovering near her mouth as she waited for take off. Eagerness bubbled within her as she had never ridden in such a small plane before.

“Ready Joy?” Came John’s radioed voice over the headset.

“You bet!” Joy breathed with mounting excitement. She didn’t have to see Johnny’s face to know that he was smiling. The plane roared to life with whirling propellor blades and a lurching thrust, that made Joy’s adrenaline spike.

Everything became smaller below them as the pair rose into the air. Even Joy’s laundry list of issues to tackle felt left behind as they gained altitude. Eagerly, bright honey brown eyes gazed out of the cockpit. The helicopter ride into Hope County had been tense and in the dark. Now, in broad daylight, Joy could appreciate the true beauty that was Montana, the big sky country. Rolling prairies became dense woodlands, before rising into mountainous ranges. Pristine lakes and rivers shimmered, reminding Joy why Montana was called the treasure state.

Joy exhaled deeply as the feeling of freedom washed over her body and cleansed her soul. "Can we just stay up here Johnny?" Joy asked wistfully into the microphone.

“While I would love to indulge you,” John remarked with a warm chuckle. “We would eventually run out of gas.” The youngest Seed wished he could see her face, but he could imagine it. He knew just how much Joy needed this moment. A breather to get away from everything. Maybe he could offer flying lessons...then again would Eden's gate want a destructive menace like her up in the sky? A wry smile crossed his lips and he was about to open his mouth...When Joy beat him to the question.

“Will you teach me to fly one day?” Her question came through his headset in a pure hopeful voice.

“Of course, maybe we can get you a plane of your own,” John added as he effortlessly steered the plane towards their destination. “If you had a plane, what would you name it?” He asked, feeling curious.

Joy was momentarily quiet with contemplation, before he heard her voice perk up. “I don’t know. With names like _‘The Affirmation’_ and _‘Pack Hunter’_ to contend with…”

“How about the Righteous Duchess, or Joyful Revenge?” John offered and grinned as he heard a loud snort through the headset.

“What about... _Myrtle_?” Joy teased. “It would definitely strike fear in the hearts of many.”

“I'll never go near it,” John sniffed, causing pleasing laughter to fill his ears.

* * *

John landed the aircraft with ease upon an open field where only one structure loomed nearby. An old dilapidated two story house that Joy instantly recognized at the Seed’s residence. Though the surrounding residential area appeared to have been bulldozed away some time ago. But, with construction stopped, the wild was slowly reclaiming the area.

As Joy gazed up at the house, John remarked, “I bought it. One of the first purchases I made when I returned to Hope County. Apparently, no one wanted it after father had died in it. But...I couldn’t bring myself to tear it down and use the land. Joseph and Jacob didn’t want anything to do with it either. Then, Faith took on as Herald of the Henbane River region and I sort of just let it be.”

John watched as Joy mentally prepared herself with fists clenching and unclenching. Her posture straightened, fluffy haired head held high, and bright honey brown eyes narrowed upon her target. The youngest Seed suddenly struck by a sense of a noble hero from a fairytale, who was about to storm into the dark cave and slay the fire breathing dragon.

“You were right,” John remarked gently over the buzzing insects and chirping birds.

“About what?” Joy asked as she tore her gaze away from the building to arch a quizzical brow back at him.

“You aren’t a Princess,” John simply stated as he continued to appraise her.

Joy snorted loudly as she rolled her honeyed brown eyes. John couldn’t help but grin at how comforting it was to hear her sarcastic snorts.

“Princesses were damsels in distress - always locked away in towers, waiting to be saved. Not you Joy, you’re a knight,” John declared with a knowing smile.

“A knight in shining armor?” Joy teased as she peered over at John with a grin.

“Not quite shining, you’ve been in battle, your armor is dented, bloodied, and battered. But, you still never shy away from danger and you’re righteous down to your bones. I...I admire that about you,” John confessed, before blinking quickly and clearing his throat as he realized what he had just uttered. Feeling a bit embarrassed, John tore his gaze away from her to look about.

Joy’s eyebrows knitted together and without warning, she flung her arms around John, encompassing him into a tight embrace. “Thank you,” came her muffled voice from against his chest.

Hands slightly held up in surprise, John blinked a few times before he regained his senses. “For what? Apart from being devilishly handsome and an excellent pilot,” The youngest Seed added smugly as he wrapped his own arms around Joy.

A loud snort huffed against his bare scarred chest. John’s grin melted into a smile as he appreciated how perfect Joy felt in his arms. A soothing feeling of warmth and comfort as he leaned his dark bearded chin atop her soft fluffy haired head.

“Thank you...for trusting me,” murmured Joy. Her voice vibrating pleasingly against his skin.

John paused as he let her words wash over him. Then with his left hand, John tucked his finger under Joy’s chin, beckoning her to look up at him.

Gazing down into overbright honey brown eyes, John whispered, “Let it be known, you did not fall from grace, Joy. You leapt to freedom.”

Entranced by his words, Joy slowly rose up and placed a chaste kiss upon John’s soft lips. He closed his eyes, revelling in the fullness of love and warmth, because that was what Joy truly was…

John’s love had always been a dangerous fleeting sensation for the thrill of feeling alive...but when it came to Joy. Her love was different. It was…one of solace, peace, caring...a different type of love that was like... _home._

An idea struck him as they slowly released their embrace. John fished out the black satin ribbon from his back pocket. “Here…” He murmured as he carefully tied the soft ribbon around Joy’s neck, a little bow upon her left side. “In case you need it.”

 _A little protection charm from Johnny?_ Joy wondered as she gently touched the makeshift choker upon her neck. “See you on the other side,” Joy remarked with a small smile, before she turned to enter the forlorn Seed residence.

Hopefully she wouldn’t stir any other ghosts that still lingered...

* * *

The old house was completely bare on the inside, and the floorboards creaked underneath Joy’s exploring footsteps. Sunlight filtered through cracked windows, highlighting dancing speckles of dust in the air, disturbed by her presence. There were cobwebs hanging from the corners of the walls, and even a remnant of a bird's twiggy nest.

Worrying her bottom lip with her teeth, Joy climbed the crepitate staircase as she made her way towards Joseph’s room. Even empty, it was smaller than she remembered. The closet door was left open, as if beckoning her to enter.

Stealing her breath, Joy strode into the small enclosure, and pulled the door shut behind her. The darkness made goosebumps prickle up and down her forearms. But Joy tried not to let the sensation distract her mind from focusing on the past.

Breathing deeply, she willed her brain to replay the memory John had been able to call forth earlier. How Joseph was just on the other side of this door and...

Buzzing began to fill her mind like a swarm of humming locusts. _‘Concentrate Joy...concentrate…’_

A pained cry...a swift smack followed by a tearful whimper...

Joe…

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

His protector was no longer around...as yelling and swearing in a deep bellowing voice reverberated against the closet door.

“Spiderman?! You’ve brought that demon filth into this house again?! Did I not warn you boy!” Roared Mr. Seed. His thundering voice nearly rattled the wooden door Joy was hidden behind.

 _Joseph was getting beaten over the Spiderman comics?_ Joy’s legs nearly gave out as she slumped onto the closet’s floor... _This was her fault_...Quickly, she wrapped her arms around her legs and began to rock back and forth, biting down hard upon her lower lip to stay quiet as Joe withstood pain after pain...after pain...

_...This was her fault..._

Suddenly there was silence, and Joy paused as her ear’s strained to listen. She heard heavy footsteps stomp away at a slightly uncoordinated rhythm.

Forcing a gulp through her tightened throat, Joy dared a peek as she carefully pushed the closet door open, just a crack. The coast was clear. Quickly she crawled out, staying low upon her hands and feet. Silently Joy made her way around the bed only to nearly gasp aloud when she found Joe…his left eye was angrily bruised and quickly swelling shut.

Now that they were on winter break...his father was hitting more obvious areas, prior it must have been only in places that were able to be kept covered. Tears prickled honey brown eyes as she noticed what appeared to be large reddened handprints across Joe’s small throat.

_...oh my god oh my god..._

Joe was breathing, raggedly, but breathing nonetheless. Joy gingerly touched Joseph’s face, and he whimpered. A worried sound that more pain was to come...Joy blinked through tears as she pressed her forehead against his. “I’m so sorry Joe,” she whispered as droplets of tears dripped onto his face.

_All her fault..._

Then suddenly another voice called out...

“No! Please! Stop it!” John begged tearfully.

Johnny...he was going to hurt Johnny now! Joy felt her teeth grind against one another in fury. Then her lips curled to reveal bared teeth.

...Not if she could help it!

Joy sprang up like a tightly wound coil and dashed out of Joseph's room, just in time to see Mr. Seed dragging John down the hallway towards her. Tears streamed down John’s cheeks as he struggled against his father’s tight grip around his upper arm, the skin turning white from the pressure.

...And all Joy saw was a halo of red around her vision. Screaming like a crazed banshee, she launched herself at the two.

“What the fuck!” Mr. Seed roared as he realized her presence. The stench of alcohol about him as keen cold blue eyes widened in surprise.

Joy opened her mouth and sank her teeth into the flesh of Mr. Seed’s forearm, the arm that dragged John. Spurned by her own rage, Joy’s sharp bite drew hot blood. Mr. Seed bellowed like a wounded buffalo, and quickly released John. The little boy fell onto the wooden floor, where he curled up into a fetal position.

Joy instantly let go and jumped back out of Mr. Seed’s range, before wiping away his blood from her lips, leaving a streak of crimson in its wake. The heart pumping stimulating concoction of adrenaline and anger kept Joy at the ready for the man’s next move.

“You!” Mr. Seed spat as recognition gleamed was in those widened sapphire eyes, before it was replaced by molten blue fury. “You little bitch!” And with ice blue malice, Mr. Seed lashed out at her with a powerful swipe.

But, while the man was a looming giant, he was uncoordinated with his swings, giving her small body openings to duck. Instinctively, Joy beckoned him away from John’s huddled form. And Mr. Seed continued to come at her like a raging grizzly bear down the hall.

“You and your damn father!” Mr. Seed bellowed with spit flying out of his mouth. “Burning down your ranch isn't enough!”

They were nearing the staircase as Mr. Seed made another lunge that Joy barely managed to dodge. His feet stumbled from intoxication, and the man wobbled just atop the stairs.

A sudden idea struck Joy, and without giving the repercussions a second thought, she charged at the man, giving him a great shove with all her might...

Sapphire eyes wide in alarm, Mr. Seed’s heavy body fell backwards, hands flailing about to catch a hold of something - anything. But gravity pulled his tumbling form down until it came crashing at the bottom...with a sickening crunch.

From the top of the staircase, Joy instinctively knew that Mr. Seed would never harm another again...

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

...Joy blinked as she could taste the cooper zing of blood in her mouth. She blinked again and the house around her reverted back to its old dilapidated form. While reliving the memory, Joy had bit down upon her own lip so hard that blood now trickled down her chin.

Volatile stomach acid bubbled up her throat and Joy rushed down the stairs, pushing past an alarmed adult Johnny, as she reached a nearby bush and threw up all the contents of her stomach upon it. Body shaking and shivering, Joy coughed, spitting out blood before her trembling voice stated, “I...I’m a monster.”

John rushed to her side, and hovered about Joy’s doubled-over body with concern. He took in the bloodied lip, flushed face, and fresh tears. Joy’s throat wavered and gulped underneath the black satin bow. His hands floated over her trembling form, at a complete loss as to what he could do to comfort her.

“I pushed him...I killed him...I,” Joy gasped between dry heaves as she wiped away her tears with the sleeve of her red and black plaid shirt. The taste of burning acid befouled her mouth.

“Joy you didn’t mean to,” John remarked strongly. “You were trying to protect Joseph and me…”

But Joy cut him off as she violently shook her head, “No, Johnny...I...I wanted to…to punish him. I felt no remorse at what I had...Oh god!” Joy cried out mournfully.

“I’m a monster...all this time...and because of what I did…” Joy began to fanatically ramble as her thoughts spiraled into the dark abyss. “If Joe had never met me...the Spiderman comic wouldn’t have gotten him beaten. If I didn’t love Jacob...he would have never gotten burnt. If I hadn't been in your life Johnny...you wouldn’t have ended up with the Duncans…”

“It’s all my fault…”

“Joy, Joy look at me!” John beseeched with worry. But her honey brown eyes were unseeing, her mind reeling with dark thoughts. John knew the look all too well and was helpless. He lifted his arms to hug her...

...But Joy shrinked away from his touch as she took a couple of steps back.

“Johnny, I'm a curse upon you and your brothers,” Joy remarked calmly as if she was struck by sudden clarity. “I bring nothing but pain.” Her parents were right... _she should have never come back…_

And with that final thought, she turned and ran...blindly and frantically.

“Joy! Wait! Hold on! You can’t run off! Fuck!” John yelped as he nearly tripped and by the time he righted himself, Joy had vanished...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew...this chapter was hard to write. I hope it was well done and that Joy’s flashbacks are now falling into place. This story has definitely been one of the more heavily plot-outlined and brainstormed fanfics I have done! 
> 
> John’s words to Joy before her memory is based on Ansel Elkins quote from ‘Autobiography of Eve.’ “Let it be known: I did not fall from grace. I leapt to freedom.”


	15. A White Horse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Joy finally remembering what she has done. But there are still a few pieces missing. Maybe someone can help complete the puzzle...

_They say you can’t run away from your problems...but Joy was sure as hell trying too..._

It was only until breathless exhaustion hit Joy’s body like a brick wall, that she finally slowed down. With no sense of direction, she resigned herself to just continuing to walk forward, and not looking back. Joy wanted to put as much distance between herself and the whole of Hope County, the Seed brothers included.

Unfortunately, fate had other plans for her…

As Joy made her way through a wall of thick bushes, she found herself upon a lone stretch of paved highway. The midday sun was now threatening to burn her uncovered skin, yet Joy stubbornly continued to walk alongside the seemingly desolate road...until the sound of tires coming to a screeching halt behind her.

Instinctively, Joy was about to leap back into the dense underbrush when the familiar ‘ole raspy voice of Sheriff Earl Whitehorse called out to her.

“Owens?” Exclaimed the Sheriff as he stuck his head out of the nondescript white truck.There was a pause before the slamming of the car door as the man quickly approached her, while leaving his engine running.

Joy’s entire body stiffened at her name...and the voice. Slowly she turned around to watch as Earl approached her. The Sheriff still wore his dark green uniform, though it did look a bit battered and his face had a few healing scratches.

Earl’s pale green eyes peered through his tinted aviators as he did a quick look over. “What are you doing all the way out here, unarmed, and alone?” He inquired with a frown.

_Silence..._

Then Earl appraised Joy, studying her posture, the streak of blood across her mouth, and dimmed honey brown eyes... _shit._

The Sheriff suddenly had a flashback to that day he met her at the Seed residence; a horrific evening for the newly appointed Sheriff of Hope County. Earl passed a calloused hand over his worn face as he sighed deeply. “Get in the car Owens,” He ordered, thrusting his thumb backwards towards the running truck. Her usually expressive face was impassive, like a wooden carved mask. Joy quietly complied as she followed the Sheriff into the vehicle.

The drive was...silent. Yet, the aura radiating from Joy roared with anger, grief, and confusion. Though she continued to gaze quietly straight ahead at the road.

“Owens…” Earl prompted gently.

Nothing but the humming of the car’s motor.

“Joy…”

“Why didn’t you tell me the truth,” she finally asked; not beating around the bush, but cutting straight to the chase. “If you had just told me,” Joy’s voice was sharper now by the bladed edge of regret. 

“I couldn’t,” Earl sighed wearily in response. 

“Were you afraid of the U.S Marshal...or Joe?” Joy's voice took on an uncharacteristic snide tone.

“You know it’s not that simple,” Earl replied with a slight frown as he gave the woman a side glance.

“Enlighten me then,” Joy countered with a brow arched at the Sheriff. He was her missing key in all this mess after all.

“That Christmas Eve…” Earl began to softly recount as the truck hummed down the lone stretch of highway. Whitehorse was the newly appointed sheriff of Hope County. Not exactly fresh faced as he had earned the position, but his handlebar moustache was thicker and his green eyes were brighter. The true hardships of the job would soon take its toll...

“Um,” Sheriff? Nancy’s crisp voice beckoned to Earl. “It’s Joy Owens, she says she needs you to come quick to the Seeds Residence…she won't say why Sir.”

“Joy Owens?” Earl repeated with a slight frown as he set down his hot mug of freshly brewed black coffee. He could already feel it in his bones that this was going to be a long night...and on Christmas Eve no less...

Yet it wasn’t only his bones giving him a wary feeling. In a small place like Hope County, everyone knew everyone, so the fact that Joy wasn’t willing to divulge a reason truly worried him. Earl knew the Owens family well, hell their grandparents knew each other, and he was sure it continued a ways back to bartering chicken eggs for knitted socks. The Owens stock were good people through and through. And they had been through alot recently with the loss of their home, animals, and pet. 

Earl was sure that if the oldest Seed boy, Jacob, had not shown up at the ranch when he had, the Owens would have been mourning the death of their only child. The Sheriff had his own wee one safe at home with his wife; he couldn’t imagine the thought of losing his son.

“I’ll head on right over,” Earl remarked as he quickly grabbed his winter coat and crisp tan trooper hat, before marching outside into the chilly night air. He entered his demarcated Sheriff’s truck, letting the engine roar to life as he stroked his moustache in wonder at what could be happening at the Seed residence that required his presence.

It was lightly snowing as the Sheriff sped down the lone white powdered highway. While visibility was not hampered, Earl still had to be wary of wildlife suddenly sprinting across the road. Luckily the Sheriff was soon pulling up to the Seed’s homestead. 

Instinctively, the Sheriff did a quick appraisal of the house and area. Noting the old beat up, gray truck that Earl recognized as Mr. Seed’s vehicle was parked in the driveway. Its recently warm motor still left a patch of thawed snow. Otherwise there wasn’t anything overtly concerning, so with the scene looking safe, the Sheriff exited his vehicle; but not without his trusty handgun strapped to his hip, just in case.

The front door was left slightly ajar, and Earl could feel his moustache twitch with trepidation. Hesitantly, the Sheriff pulled the door fully open and found himself entering a surreal scene. The sprawled unmoving body of Mr. Seed laid at the foot of the wooden staircase. Dim sapphire eyes were wide with horror, lips and skin ghostly pale, while his neck was at an angle Earl knew was not humanly possible...

In the family room silently stood Joy with one arm around John, who was holding onto her tightly around the middle, his sniffling face pressed into her side. The lad was leaving a damp stain upon her white knitted sweater. 

Meanwhile, Joseph quietly sat at the small breakfast table in the kitchen. He was gingerly pressing a small ziploc bag of crushed ice to his purpled left eye, that had swelled shut. Earl’s green eyes lingered upon the angry bruise marks around the boy’s neck.

Quietly, Joy and John had followed the Sheriff into the kitchen, coming to a stop next to Joseph’s seat. Silently, Earl took a seat opposite of the kids. “What happened?” Whitehorse began in a calm and even tone that held no hint of blame or anger. 

Joseph opened his mouth to speak, but his voice was too hoarse to continue. Earl turned his gaze upon the youngest Seed, but John kept breaking into tears and pressing his face into the girl's side. So, finally green eyes fell upon Joy, noting that her face was stoic, her usual spirit snuffed out like a blown candle. In an uncharacteristic monotone voice, she recounted the events, eyes barely blinking through its entirety.

Earl calmly nodded, excusing himself to use the Seed’s phone to make a few calls. Then the Sheriff gently ushered the kids to his white truck. As they silently travelled along the highway, Earl snuck a peek through the rearview mirror. Joy sat in the middle of the two boys. John, who must have been emotionally tuckered out, had laid his head upon Joy’s lap and was fast asleep. Meanwhile Joseph had rested his head upon Joy’s shoulder, and was gazing out the passenger window into the snowy forest along the road. 

Joy was staring directly back at Earl, a question haunting her withdrawn face. _‘What’s going to happen to us?’_

Joseph and John were taken to Hope County’s hospital, but it was an intense moment as John absolutely did not agree to be parted from Joy. After some gentle coaxing by Joseph, reassurance from Joy, and knowledge that they would be closer to Jacob now, John finally acquiesced.

Earl allowed Joy a few moments as John gave her a parting hug. Then Joseph went to hug Joy in turn, and seemed to whisper something into her ear before following a nurse down the sterile white hallway. Earl didn’t pry as to what Joseph had told her, instead he bade Joy back into the truck as they continued their journey to the motel at Falls End. Joy just there in the front passenger seat, silent, unmoving, a thousand-yard stare from those dull honey brown eyes.

The discussion with her folks was not easy. Joy just silently sat in between her mother and father on the couch as Earl took a nearby lovechair in the hushed living room. The Sheriff recounted the event as Joy had reported, before finally arriving to his conclusion.

“With such an incident, I would have to take Joy into custody and set her for trial as a juvenile,” Earl stated and he watched as both parents wrapped their arms around their daughter. The look of distraught upon their faces made him swallow thickly. Then an idea came to him and the Sheriff paused, weighing his next words heavily in his mind. Would he dare...yes. But was it right?...

“However,” Earl finally broke the silence of his pause as his green eyes settled upon the quiet girl.

“While my protection over Joy is limited, I can do something...I can keep it quiet and her name out of it.” 

There was a moment of silence before Joy’s parents slowly nodded their heads in understanding. They picked up on what Earl would do. That he would write the incident off as an accident and erase Joy’s involvement. Suddenly, Mr. Owens broke the silence as he asked, “What will happen to the boys?”

Earl sighed into his moustache and shook his head sadly, “Foster care most likely once they are cleared from the hospital. As for Jacob, as he is 18, he’ll be on his own.” What a tragedy this has all become...

“I can adopt Joseph and John, you know how much they mean to Joy,” Mr. Owens added as he nodded towards his daughter.

Earl paused in his thought as he gave the father a soft, but sad smile. “That’s admirable, however without a place of residence and proof of employment, your request will be denied. Plus...I don’t think it’s wise for ya’ll to stay in Hope County. Not after this, if it were to get out…”

Mr. and Mrs. Seed exchanged knowing glances above their daughter’s head, before giving the Sheriff a solemn, but affirmative nod. 

“We’ll move,” Mr. Owens stated. “I have a sister in California who’ll be able to take us in for a time.”

Earl tore his gaze away from the father to appraise Joy. She had not spoken nor made any movement this entire time. It even appeared that Joy barely heard her father’s words, instead she just kept staring at the same dark stain on the carpet since the conversation began...

Present day Joy just stared at the older Sheriff Whitehorse as he finished recounting that day. Her mouth hung open for Joy had so many things she wanted to say, shout, even yell at him! It had been Earl who wrote off Mr. Seed’s death as an accident and had urged her family to move away. Joy’s mind was reeling like a fishing line that had just caught the great Admiral, but then it came to a screeching halt as a sudden incandescent light bulb turned on.

Joy had a moment of clarity as she whispered with honey brown eyes wide, “I’ve never paid for my action…my sin...”

_...Joe..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! This was actually a very difficult chapter for me to write. For those who’ve been sticking with me, you may have noticed that it took longer to churn out this chapter. I’ve become so emotionally invested in these characters that it was hard to put them through this, but I wanted to do them and the story justice...I hope I did just that. I am curious as to your thoughts on Sheriff Whitehorse’s actions. Do you believe he did the right thing?
> 
> Thank you dear readers for sticking with me on this story! Much love onto you! ❤️


	16. Hope County Jail

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Apologies for the wait, I’ve recently been all over the place interviewing for jobs. I’m happy to report that I’ve gotten one offer and am waiting to hear back from a couple other places! So in celebration, please enjoy this new chapter ❤️

John circled the clear blue skies of Hope County like a hawk. Unfortunately the only thing he spotted from so high up was a lone white truck. He was sure that the vehicle didn't belong to Eden's gate. So...could Joy be inside?

John would have followed the truck, had the Affirmation’s fuel gauge not warn him that it was a bad idea. Sighing deeply, John tore his gaze from the disappearing vehicle as he eased the plane to head westward instead.

Back at the bustling ranch, John meandered about without a true destination. Instead the youngest Seed allowed his feet to whisk his body off, while his mind replayed the events at the house over and over.

How Joy rushed out of the house, pale and distraught. He knew the experience would be jolting. That was one of the reasons he never dared to enter that forsaken abode. But when Joy began to spiral into self-admonishment about her act, well, John was at a complete loss because that was not how he saw her.

Wrathful, yes...but she carried the wrath of a _protector_.

What John recalled that day was a fierce guardian angel, who swooped in just before his father could inflict more harm.

He shivered at the memory of how he had curled up upon the wooden floor. John heard his father's vicious voice bellow...before eerie silence fell upon the Seed's residence.

John didn't dare stir, until a warm hand gently nudged him. Joy was leaning over him, honey brown eyes looked him over, wide with worry until realizing he was alright. The youngest Seed vividly remembered a deep sense of comfort, as he clung to her soft white sweater. A sense of assurance and peace, as if Joy was a life buoy in a storm ravaged sea.

And that was the last John had seen of her as he followed the nurse and Joseph down the sterile white walled hallway...

Years of not seeing Joy, Joseph, and Jacob...John had yielded to the terrors of the Duncans. Until something clicked in his mind, that sudden switch flicked on and the meaning of Yes revealed itself.

Yet no amount of Yes would bring Joy back to him. The way she shrank from him, the look of horror in her honey brown eyes…Her last words like acid, eating away at his skin, making its way towards his heart.

_'Johnny, I'm a curse upon you and your brothers...I bring nothing but pain.'_

"It doesn't have to be this way Joy," John whispered aloud. "I can make things right…"

His blue eyes were glossed over and unseeing. John had to shake his head slightly before he came to his senses on where he was.

The communication room where his large radio unit was stationed. John momentarily recalled as he radioed Joy for the first time, beckoning her to him. But Joy didn't have a radio on her...yet he knew there were others who could help. The Baptist just needed to keep his promise and make things right...

John moistened his lips and took in a deep steadying breath before pressing down upon the transmission button. "Jerome? Grace? This is John Seed, I have an arrangement for you..."

* * *

The white truck pulled off the highway to enter a large, almost fortress like compound. _Hope County Jail_ , Joy read from a sign that had seen better days. The front lot of the property was strewn with junk from wrecked cars to cement dividers. At first glance it looked like a random assortment of clutter, until Joy noticed how the Sheriff weaved the car about to reach the building’s gate. It dawned on her that the junk had been placed purposefully to prevent cars from ramming right into the high protective walls of the jail.

“Here we are,” Earl sighed as he shifted the large vehicle into park once they passed through the gates. “One of the few resistance points in Henbane, also the largest, so of course we've gotten the attention of the Seed's. Rare to have a moment of peace but things are lookin’ quiet right now. Good thing too as it'll give me a moment to introduce you, and you may remember one person in particular."

Joy remained silent, it was moot point to keep reminding everyone of her memory loss. Instead she just followed after the Sheriff, noticing him nod to people here and there, even to those posted along the top of the wall’s walkways. It was a rag tag group of armed locals who've all seen better days. And Joy could understand why they flocked to this location, it was built like a fort.

Earl pulled open the sturdy containment door, allowing them entrance into the cool interior, and makeshift war zone. Mattresses and chairs were strewn about, ready for the weary to plop down. Stockpiles of various weapons and ammo were at the ready for citizens to take up arms.

A lone figure, in a blue hooded grey sweater, stood at the end of the hallway. “That’s Tracy Lader, one of the key members of Hope County Cougar resistance,” Whitehorse nodded to a young african american woman who was leaning over a desk, studying an unfurled map of Hope County, similar to the one Dutch had gifted Joy. Earl then excused himself to go check in with another Cougar resistance member who had beckoned to him.

The young woman gave Joy a curious side glance, her dark caramel eye peeking through the side swept bangs of her glossy dark hair. Joy immediately felt that Tracey was studying her, sizing her up.

“Heard alot about you, Deputy,” Tracey finally spoke as she straightened up from the desk.

Joy cocked her head slightly to the side as she casually asked, “Like what?”

“Well, for one, you have quite the history with the Seeds,” Tracy outright stated as she crossed her arms over her chest, a reproachful expression upon her face. “A nice chumy one that would make anyone question whether you are truly an ally...or foe.” Tracey was slowly approaching Joy with each word, like a stalking cougar. “And, you've got the stink of Bliss about you,” Tracey nearly growled as she stopped just in front of Joy.

 _Figuratively or literally?_ Joy wanted to ask. Instead she decided to say, “Yeah, had a run in with Faith.”

Tracy's eyes widened at the name and Joy couldn’t help but note a haunting look within those deep caramel brown eyes. The moment was short lived however as Tracey’s eyes quickly narrowed with scrutinization as she curtly remarked, “And you're still walking and talking fine.”

“Definitely not at first. Though Faith apologized, stating she didn't know I would be so sensitive to the Bliss,” Joy remarked as she recalled the event at the ruin’s of her family’s barn.

“Hmph,” Tracy huffed through flared nostrils. “She would lie like that,” she growled again.

Joy frowned at her words and Tracy must have realized she said too much. Her eyes became wary, no longer making direct contact as she shifted her weight uncomfortably.

"Going to go check the perimeter," the young woman remarked gruffly, pushing past Joy just as Earl reappeared.

“Tracy, well she’s the wary tough sort, but she'll eventually warm up to you,” The Sheriff stated once the young woman exited the building. “Now follow me,” Earl prompted, causing Joy to tear her eyes away from the door, and the mystery that was Tracy Lader.

Joy followed Sheriff Whitehorse through a side hallway and into a small office where a portly vested man with an earnest face stood behind a desk. He had a shiny balding head, and a smile that beamed at the sight of her.

“By my golly!” His bespectacled warm brown eyes seemed to sparkle as he quickly made his way around the desk towards her. “Joy Owens, oh look how you've grown up!” Suddenly a memory engulfed Joy just as strongly as the man's hug.

"Well if it ain't Virgil Minkler," Joy's Pa greeted warmly as he slid off his mottled brown and white Appaloosa steed.

A thin bespectacled young man stood before them. Though back then, Virgil had a head of luscious and tousled dark brown hair. He was all smiles as he carried a large woven basket.

"Back again so soon?" Mr. Owens chuckled warmly as he tipped his dusty tan cowboy hat.

Virgil now frequently stopped by the ranch for fresh eggs. "Wife's got quite the craving, and one doozy of a morning sickness, at least we're excepting the wee one soon!"

"Got a name for the new Cougar?" Pa asked while Joy dutifully and carefully placed snow white shelled eggs into Virgil's basket.

"Oh well, the Mrs. has her heart set on Matthew, but I rather like Ethan," Virgil remarked with a rosy cheek smile.

 _Ethan...Ethan..._ Joy really liked that name too.

Virgil chuckled fondly, "Maybe I can sway her with some fresh eggs? And hopefully he'll share Cougar pride just like Joy. Now I best be off!"

Back in the present, as Virgil took a step back, his amiable eyes appraising her warmly like a proud parent.

"How is Ethan? How's your wife?" Joy asked with a kind smile. "I remember she used to love our eggs."

Virgil's smile slipped into sadness and his brown eyes dimmed behind the glasses. "I haven't heard from them since...well since they left to join the cult…" He replied sadly.

Now it was Joy's turn to have her smile falter as she felt a stone drop heavily into the pit of her stomach. Virgil’s wife and son had joined Joe...that meant they were Peggies. What if, what if their paths had crossed, and had left blood upon Joy's hands…

_Wrath_

"Oh, uh here," Virgil prompted, clearly wanting to change the subject as he offered Joy a little button. The emblem was of a cougar, jaw opened wide, as the words _‘Hope County Cougars’_ encircled it.

"Cougar pride," Joy breathed as she took the button and pinned it to the left side of her red and black plaid button up, just above her heart.

"Cougar pride," Virgil echoed softly. He was yet another connection to her past, as bittersweet as it now was.

Virgil cleared his throat loudly before exclaiming, “Hey the button kinda matches that pretty lil bow ya got!"

Bow?

Joy's hand curiously wandered up to her neck, feeling something smooth and silky roll under her fingertips. The black satin ribbon... _Johnny_ , her heart fluttered then ached...

Suddenly the Sheriff burst into the small office, "Joy! Everyone! Chit chat time is over, get to the wall. We need every abled body armed and ready!"

"Ready for what?" Joy asked with a frown as she quickly followed after Sheriff Whitehorse.

“Angels!” Earl barked over his shoulder.

A horde of frenzied, hazy green haloed Peggies were rushing towards Hope County Jail...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for continuing to read this story! I’m hoping to get back on schedule now that my interviews are over. So until next time, please be safe out there dear readers 🥰


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